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Straight Talk: Turkey Editorial

Posted on December 6, 2025 Written by The Nittany Turkey Leave a Comment

Big Ten Money

The Big Ten Money Machine, the Teen Meat Market, and the Matt Campbell Pressure Cooker

Big Ten Money

In which Ohio State gets a freshman wideout, Penn State gets a new head coach, and everyone keeps pretending this is “education.”

Two Wall Street Journal pieces this week—one chronicling the Big Ten’s transformation into a billion-dollar content mill, the other tracing a brilliant teenager’s descent through the black-market underworld of high-school football—tell the whole story of modern college athletics far better than anything the NCAA will ever admit.

Together, they also explain the world into which Pat Kraft just dropped Matt Campbell, now officially Penn State’s head coach on an eight-year agreement pending Board of Trustees approval. And unless the trustees accidentally vote on last month’s dining contract instead of the coaching contract, that approval will be a parade float.

Kraft needed this hire to land squarely after the disastrous Franklin exit and the hapless rumor mill. But Kraft needs something else even more:

A miracle.

Because he’s not just hiring a football coach. He’s propping up the Penn State division of the Big Ten’s corporate money machine while simultaneously managing a $700 million Beaver Stadium expansion, a bottomless NIL arms race, a hyperactive transfer portal, an increasingly deranged fan base, and a conference whose only historical principle is now: “Can this bring in more revenue?”

Let’s not mince words: The AD job at Penn State in 2025 would break most Fortune 500 CEOs. Those guys have shareholders who at least pretend to understand risk. Kraft has message-board economists and donors who think “alignment” is something visible on an MRI.

And into that maelstrom steps Matt Campbell.


Scene 1: The Big Ten—From Tweed-Coated Morality Play to Private-Equity Fling

For over a century, the Big Ten prided itself on lofty ideals:

  • “Academics first.”
  • “Student-athletes.”
  • Sneering condescension about the SEC.
  • Professors blocking Ohio State from a Rose Bowl because a coach gave out improper benefits.
  • No alcohol ads on the Big Ten Network, lest the children be corrupted.

Cue the laugh track.

Because now:

  • The Big Ten is 18 schools deep, stretching from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
  • It generates over $1 billion annually in media money.
  • It seriously considered a $2.4 billion private-equity deal, which Michigan’s board correctly called “a payday loan.”
  • It is spearheading a plan to expand the playoff to 24 teams, because 12 isn’t nearly enough chances to sprain hamstrings for television dollars.
  • And the conference is playing Friday-night games it once declared heretical.

This isn’t evolution.
This is monetization cosplay.

The Big Ten long claimed to be the adult in the room while other conferences “sold out.”
Then it checked its bank statement, saw the SEC pulling away, and sprinted face-first into capitalism with all the subtlety of a rhinoceros on meth. Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delany, who served from 1989 to 2020, was the expansion mastermind; getting Penn State voted in back in 1990 was just the beginning. Last year, four West Coast schools joined what was originally a Midwest academic alliance. The Big Ten is now composed of eighteen football factories.

And yet administrators still give quotes about protecting “academic missions.” Sure. And Domino’s is protecting the ancient craft of breadmaking.


Scene 2: The Basement of the System—Where the Product Is Manufactured

Now enter Phillip Bell III, a kid who represents the true cost of the Big Ten’s revenue empire.

Bell is now a freshman wide receiver at Ohio State. But before that, he was:

  • A national top-10 high-school prospect,
  • A walking NIL lottery ticket,
  • And—this is the important part—the financial plan for the adults around him.

His mother, drowning in debt and addiction, began moving him from school to school across California, shopping him like a condo listing. Bagmen and “street agents” offered five-figure packages, rent-free mansions, stipends, allowances, whatever it took.

He played 7-on-7 for a team backed by venture capital.
They flew private.
They marketed teens like IPOs.
Rules? Suggestions.
Amateurism? A charming museum artifact.

Meanwhile:

  • Bell’s grades cratered.
  • His family fractured under the financial strain and manipulation.
  • His mother died at 39 after a cocaine-laced diabetic spiral in a Vegas hotel.
  • His father and grandparents were cut out of his life.
  • And at 18, he arrived in Columbus with a “caretaker” and no connection to his family outside a tragic obituary.

This isn’t a failure of the system.
This is the system.

Bell is the raw material.
Ohio State is the factory.
The Big Ten is the retailer.
Fox, NBC, and CBS are the wholesale distributors.

And the only part of the process anyone pretends is voluntary is the part where the kid signs his name.


Scene 3: The Pipeline Meets Happy Valley

Now look again at Matt Campbell’s job description and tell me this isn’t the same machinery—just at a different stage of production.

Campbell didn’t accept a college coaching job.
He accepted:

  • A CEO role inside a billion-dollar corporate subsidiary,
  • With no labor stability,
  • No roster guarantees,
  • No regulatory clarity,
  • No budget ceiling,
  • And 107,000 highly emotional performance reviewers screaming from the stands.

And Pat Kraft?
He’s the CFO, COO, and Chief Risk Officer of this circus.

The stadium project alone would give a NYSE-listed company’s CFO night sweats. Add in a coaching transition, a cutthroat conference, NIL inflation, portal volatility, egotistical donors, and a fan base that considers 10–2 a government-grade failure…

The Hot Seat

Kraft’s desk is essentially a legacy Pittsburgh blast furnace with a swivel chair attached.

Back in the Sandusky scandal days, hypocritical Penn State football fans decried the Freeh Report’s characterization of the “culture of football” observed at PSU. Despite those Sanguinarians wanting to sweep it under the rug, that corrupt culture is glaringly present. Along with the rest of the Big Ten, Penn State has sunk into the morass that was once known as college football and is now NFL Lite.

And here’s where the Bell story matters:
Campbell and Kraft must build, recruit, and retain a roster drawn from the same talent pipeline that produced Bell’s nightmare.

That pipeline is:

  • Ungoverned,
  • Cash-soaked,
  • Exploitation-prone,
  • Family-shredding,
  • And now considered “normal.”

The Big Ten needs elite players.
Elite players come from environments like Bell’s.
Penn State needs to compete with Ohio State for those players.
Which means Penn State is, willingly or not, tied into the very system that destroys kids on the way up.

“Success With Honor” sounds noble until you realize half your recruiting pool spent high school being auctioned to the highest bidder at 7-on-7 tournaments sponsored by Amazon and Gatorade.


Scene 4: Leadership or Soul Selling? Pick One.

A former Ohio State AD said:

“There’s a narrow line between providing leadership and selling your soul.”

He’s wrong about one thing:
The line isn’t narrow anymore.
It’s a mile behind us, next to the Rose Bowl contract and the morality clause.

The Big Ten crossed that line when it chased broadcast markets instead of regional coherence.
It crossed it when it played Friday nights.
It crossed it when it considered private equity “modernization.”
It crossed it when money made all previous values obsolete.

Matt Campbell is inheriting that world.
Pat Kraft is expected to control it.
Phillip Bell is a casualty of it.

And the rest of us?
We keep buying tickets to the games and kidding ourselves that these are “students first.”


Final Scene: Welcome to the Show, Matt Campbell

Ohio State gets a blue-chip wideout.
The Big Ten gets another profitable season.
NIL collectives get deals to announce on social media.

Penn State gets a new head coach… who must:

  • Win immediately,
  • Rebuild a roster in the Wild West of NIL,
  • Keep boosters at bay,
  • Hit fundraising milestones for a $700 million stadium overhaul,
  • And ensure the program doesn’t fall behind mega-programs operating on Silicon Valley economics.

All while Kraft tries to avoid becoming the next AD casualty of unrealistic expectations.

So yes—Matt Campbell is the new leader of Penn State football.
But don’t kid yourself.
He’s also the newest middle manager in the Big Ten’s industrial complex, where the stakes are higher, the timelines shorter, and the talent pipeline more warped than anybody wants to admit.

And somewhere in Sacramento, a father and two grandparents watch Ohio State games on TV and wonder when college football stopped being a game and started being an industry that consumes children.

The answer?
Right around the time the Big Ten figured out how to monetize everything except its conscience.


Epilog: Terry Smith Naivete

My recent posts here about the Penn State coaching search have provided comic relief at the expense of Facebook comment geniuses. At the same time, peering into that world has confirmed the naivete of the typical college football fan. Most ignore the sordid pecuniary crap I’ve ranted about above. They want to look at the Penn State coaching job as it might have been in 1959, when Rip Engle was coaching Richie Lucas.

Terry Smith would have fit in that model, but going 3-3 as interim head coach — with no financial worries on his shoulders and absolutely no expectations other than to play out the year — does not qualify him for the Football CEO job. Penn State needed someone who understood the realities of the position, and who conducted a program, albeit on a somewhat more penurious level.

I’m happy that Terry, who was exploring possible head coaching opportunities elsewhere, has decided to stay at Penn State. He will be a valuable asset in Matt Campbell’s organization, presumably coaching cornerbacks and aiding in recruiting.

I consider that a happy ending for Terry. I think elevating him to head coach would have likely consumed him and his family. Sometimes, one’s reach exceeds one’s grasp.

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This Could Be It: Matt Campbell to Penn State?

Posted on December 5, 2025 Written by The Nittany Turkey 2 Comments

Well, Rumor Has It…

Multiple national outlets report that Penn State and Iowa State’s Matt Campbell have agreed to broad terms and are in final negotiations to make him the next Nittany Lion head coach, pending formal approval.

I knew you’d ask what the geniuses on Facebook are saying, so here goes!

Facebook Reacts to the Matt Campbell Rumors: A Field Guide to Online Ornithology

If you ever wondered what it would look like if Noah opened the ark’s doors midway through a Category 5 hurricane, wonder no longer — because the Penn State fanbase has spoken, and boy, do they regret having the internet.

The Terry Smith Loyalists

These folks view Terry as the divinely anointed heir to JoePa, Moses, and possibly Beyoncé. The mere mention of Matt Campbell sends them into lamentations. Some claim this “slap in the face” means they’re switching to Ohio State — because nothing says “principled stand” like defecting to the Evildoers of Columbus. Others hope Terry grabs all the players and leaves in a glorious biblical Exodus. (Yes, someone actually invoked “Exodus” as if wide receivers will wander the desert for 40 years.)

The Doomsday Prophets

These are the people convinced the Campbell hire marks the official end of civilization. According to them, Penn State football is now:

  • ruined,
  • set back 20 years,
  • doomed to “mediocracy” (their word, not mine),
  • and on the verge of losing every recruit, player, donor, season-ticket holder, and possibly the Creamery’s patented Peachy Paterno recipe.

Several assure us they’re “done with the program,” which always lasts until the next 9–3 season.

The Franklin 2.0 Truthers

These fine scholars discovered via Infallible Google Search that Matt Campbell once shared oxygen with Nick Sirianni, which — in their minds — makes him James Franklin 2.0, 3.0, 4.0, and possibly the director’s cut. They cite Campbell’s record, Campbell’s failures, Campbell’s inability to beat Ohio State, Oregon, Michigan, Iowa, gravity, and time itself. At least one guy is still mad that Colorado beat Iowa State. In the same year. In a sport involving 22 players. Somehow this is Penn State’s fault.

The “Fire Kraft!” Crowd

A proud Penn State tradition: whatever goes wrong, fire the AD. Kraft is accused of botching the search, losing recruits, taking too long, taking the wrong amount of time, not landing a “big name,” and mishandling the sacred ritual of appeasing Facebook Comment Section Shamans. According to one gentleman, after this hire, the Board of Trustees can “shove his tickets” somewhere the sun doesn’t shine — a bold strategy for someone still planning to attend games.

The Culture-Police Gatekeepers

Several commenters gravely inform us that Matt Campbell is not a Penn State guy, which apparently disqualifies him from coaching football in State College. One declares another commenter “obviously ignorant of Penn State culture,” which is an unintentionally perfect summary of the comment thread itself.

The Optimists (Yes, They Exist)

A few brave souls venture that Campbell is… a good hire. Not great, but good. Or maybe excellent. Maybe even a “home run.” These people are immediately drowned out by everyone else screaming that we’ve made the worst decision since the linebackers let JJ McCarthy convert a 3rd-and-17.

The Conspiracy Theorists

These are the people who believe:

  • Pat Kraft has secret tapes.
  • Campbell is hiring Sandusky as defensive coordinator.
  • Fake news is involved.
  • This is all a plot.
    Of what variety? Doesn’t matter. They’re working on it.

The Stat Dump Guy

Every thread has one: the guy who, upon hearing rumors of a coaching hire, posts a JPEG of recruiting rankings as if he’s Adam Schefter crossed with a disgruntled actuary. This gentleman dutifully reminds us that Iowa State recruited like Iowa State. The world gasps.

The Pure Nihilists

These commenters simply type variations of:

  • “UGH.”
  • “Eew!”
  • “Terrible terrible terrible terrible.”
  • “No good!”
  • “Awful.”
  • “Smfh.”
    These are the haiku poets of Fan Rage.

The Straw That Broke the Camelback Guy

One fan declares he is “no longer a Penn State fan,” even though he was “born and raised 50 minutes down the road.” This is a classic Facebook departure vow — right up there with “I’m deleting this app,” followed by 900 more posts this week.


In Conclusion

The Facebook reaction to Matt Campbell is a glorious Rorschach test: people see whatever it takes to confirm that they, personally, hold the One True Opinion about Penn State football.

Whether Campbell wins big, flames out, or goes .500 forever, one thing is certain:

Penn State fans will still be yelling at each other on Facebook, and absolutely none of them will admit they were wrong.

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Peeping Through the Hokie Holes: Franklin’s First Week in Blacksburg

Posted on December 4, 2025 Written by The Nittany Turkey Leave a Comment

A Nittany Turkey Field Report from the Other Side of the Fence

While Penn State’s bumbling head-coach search committee continues to cling to false hopes — and somehow keeps driving what seem like worthwhile candidates to go running for the hills — our old pal James Franklin has been busy in Blacksburg charming the maroon-and-orange masses like he’s selling extended warranties on used Buicks.

Yes, while we anxiously await word from Pat Kraft’s Witness Protection Program for Athletic Directors, Virginia Tech fans are over on Facebook throwing rose petals, rice, and probably a couple of leftover turkey legs at Franklin’s feet.

Let us observe.


Act I: Hokie Honeymoon Hysteria

Some VT folks are already declaring Franklin a “class act,” an “excellent speaker,” and a man who “always says the right things.”

Well, yes. That’s the whole problem.

James Franklin always says the right things. The man could sweet-talk a malfunctioning Hamilton Beach blender into believing it’s a VitaMix.

One Hokie even claimed Franklin “gave his heart and soul” to Penn State.

I’d say he gave us a good, sturdy lease with an optional buy-out clause — but let’s not ruin their romance with reality. They’re smitten. Let them enjoy the glow before they learn about the fourth-quarter conservatism and the strange gravitational field that pulls every Franklin-coached team into the same November wormhole.


Act II: Penn Staters Crash the Facebook Reception

Naturally, PSU fans — aka “trolls” — arrived uninvited to the VT Facebook wedding banquet, bearing the gifts no one asked for:

  • “2–23 in big games.”
  • “Play-not-to-lose artist.”
  • “Five-star QB hospice.”
  • “You’ll love him… until you don’t.”

It was like watching bitter exes ambush a bridal shower. The Hokies didn’t know what hit them.

VT fans responded the only way new partners do in this situation:
“LOL you’re just jealous.”

Yes, sweetheart — we’re jealous. Jealous like someone who traded in a 12-year-old glitchy BMW for a reliable Honda and now watches the next owner brag about the heated seats that sometimes work.

But wait. Where the hell is the reliable Honda, Pat Kraft? Something about a Honda in the hand is worth two in the bush? Or two dozen? Coaching candidates, I mean. But I digress.


Act III: JoePa’s Ghost Enters the Chat

At one point a middle-aged Penn Stater unloaded a blistering sermon on the “young spoiled shits” of PSU fandom, scolding them for lacking “class” and claiming Paterno would be embarrassed.

Look, Paterno was embarrassed by a lot of things. But Facebook arguments? Please. Remember his reference to Twitter as “Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee”?

He’d shrug and go back to breaking down film on a 9-inch CRT.

Still, watching Penn Staters fight each other while fighting Hokies while we don’t even have a coach —it’s almost comforting in its dysfunction.


Act IV: The Hokies Learn the Language

As the thread grew, the Virginia Tech faithful began encountering the Franklinisms we know by heart:

  • “Obviously, obviously, obviously…”
  • “Same shit he said at PSU.”
  • “Insert VA for PA for the next decade.”
  • “He’ll recruit like Zeus and coach like your uncle who forgets the kids’ names at Thanksgiving.”

One Miami fan even showed up to explain things to everyone, because if there’s one program America looks to for guidance, it’s Miami.


Act V: When Reality Finally Peeks Through the Window

Sure, the Hokies are excited now.

Their recruiting class jumped from the low 100s to #22 in a day — which, to a program starving for relevance, probably feels like finding a twenty-dollar bill in an old winter coat.

But folks… we’ve seen this movie.
We bought the DVD.
We watched the director’s commentary.
We lived through the sequels.

Franklin gives you hope. He gives you hype. He gives you a recruiting bump.

And then November arrives and your blood pressure spikes to numbers that violate OSHA standards.

He’s the best coach in America at building the hot-air balloon.

He’s the worst coach in America at landing the damn thing.


Final Thought From a Turkey Sitting on the Fencepost

While Penn State fans wait for the coaching search committee, namely Pat Kraft, to emerge from whatever locked padded cell they’re currently in — presumably arguing whether to offer the job to Terry Smith, Prunella the Psychic Groundhog, or a Magic 8 Ball — at least we can take comfort watching this Facebook drama unfold.

Virginia Tech thinks they’ve found The One.

Bless their hearts.

From here in Happy Valley, we raise a toast:

Good luck, Hokies. The Franklin Experience™ is fun… until the warranty expires.

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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