The Nittany Turkey

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Handicapping the Idols

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Who is likely to get kicked off American Idol this week? Let your favorite railbird, The Nittany Turkey, handicap the remaining contestants’ chances of getting the axe this week.

This week is “country week.” Martina McBride will be the guest mentor. This creates a problem for just about everyone who remains. I’m a-thinkin’ that Haley would have been hot to watch in a pair of tight, studded jeans, but she’s gone. Oh, the singing, you say? Like American Idol is really about singing! Haley wasn’t much of a singer, but she sure as hell entertained me. If this competition is about singing, then why the hell is Sanjaya and his supporting cast of programmed idiots doing so well? But I digress. I just don’t think that country suits any of the remaining dudes and dudesses, but they they might just suprise us all.

So, without further ado, here’s the official Nittany Turkey odds prognostication for this week’s Idol blast-off:

Chris (2-1) – Will try to update some traditional country song and fail miserably.
Phil (7-2) – Phil actually could do a good job with country material. But Phil is weird and he’s going soon anyway.
Sanjaya (5-1) – The novelty of the Howard Stern / VoteForTheWorst.com engineered fiasco will soon wear off when the fools who are playing this game realize that they’re being played as idiot supplicants. Sanjaya did a credible job last week with Bésame Mucho, but will royally screw up a C&W song this week.
Blake (8-1) – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the guys are all weak this year. They pretty much suck, but Blake is the best of them. I dunno about how he’ll handle a country song, though.
Lakisha (20-1) – She might surprise me, but I don’t that big voice is suited to hearts & flowers country.
Melinda (30-1) – She’s versatile, and she can probably find a country song that suits her. Selection will be important.
Jordin (50-1) – This could be wishful thinking, but I think that Jordin will nail her song this week. Her support base is growing, she demonstrates a wonderful joie de vivre, and she possesses great maturity. Hard to believe that she’s only 17.

Now, button up them jeans, pull on your boots, cock your Stetson and get ready for the Idol hoe-down!

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Comments

  1. The Redhead says

    Turkey, I think Jordin has the best chance of pulling off a good country music performance. Lakisha? It’s hard for me to see that happening. Melinda, a little more credible, depends on the material.

    Too bad for you that Haley couldn’t have cooed:

    Hey good lookin’!
    Watcha got cookin?

    Ah, but it was not to be…

    (Please God, NO Garth songs!)

    See you tomorrow evening!

  2. The Nittany Turkey says

    I want to see Sanjaya doing some edgy Toby Keith number.

    How about Phil doing George Jones’ [i]I Like Beer[/i]? Or Lakisha doing George’s estranged wife Tammy’s tune [i]Stand By Your Man[/i]?

    This oughta be good.

    —TNT

  4. The Redhead says

    You were right–Phil is doing a good job with this tune! This is the best I’ve ever seen him. He shouldn’t have to worry about going home this week.

    He seems comfortable with this genre.

  5. The Redhead says

    And the judges, even Simon, agree! He’s put some real competition into the evening.

  12. The Redhead says

    Simon won’t love it as much as the other judges:

    Wow–was I wrong about that!

    This is going to be an interesting evening.

    I think one thing Jordin has over M. Doolittle is personality; she has charisma.

  14. The Redhead says

    Yeah, yeah, Paula.

    I guess the judges disagree with both of us. I do agree with Randy that it was a good idea to start the song slowly like she did. Otherwise, I still didn’t care for it.

  15. The Redhead says

    I’m hoping Sanjaya will really go out there and get hillbilly with a Hank Williams tune. He’s got the guts!

  17. The Redhead says

    I think Raitt is great but there’s a sort of “sameness” to her material. Of course, that could be said about a lot of blues music.

  22. The Redhead says

    It’s sort of fitting that Sanjaya is doing “Something to Talk About” since he’s been giving people a lot of reason to talk about this show!

  23. The Redhead says

    Ha!

    I still think he should’ve really gone for it with an old country tune.

  31. The Redhead says

    Interesting that Lakisha is singing a hit song by another AI contender.

  40. The Redhead says

    Well, she does have a habit of “oversinging.” I still didn’t think it was as bad as the judges so obviously did.

  45. The Redhead says

    The Bobster just came in and said, “He sounds awful, is he?”

    Oh yes, my love, he is!

  53. The Redhead says

    I think Sanjaya and Chris may actually tie.

    HaHa! Good one about Janis.

  54. The Redhead says

    I think The Bobster should be a judge on AI. He would always hit it right on the money!

  55. The Redhead says

    I wish someone would do an old country tune. I dislike this contemporary, pretender country stuff.

  57. The Redhead says

    When are they going to have “protest song” night? Now THAT would be interesting!

  66. The Redhead says

    She listened to the judges last week when they told her she looked too old. She looks young and hip tonight.

    She makes it look easy.

  70. The Redhead says

    Simon’s right. She obviously has confidence as a vocalist–she must feel like she has to act humble and surprised so as not to alienate the other singers.

  71. The Nittany Turkey says

    I think I handicapped them right this week. (See above.) The only thing that will upset my order of finish will be if Blake nails his number, which I doubt will happen. Thus, I win.

  74. The Redhead says

    Yes, you’re good at predicting the results.

    We await the final performance of the evening…

  82. The Redhead says

    I absolutely hate this performance, even more than Sanjaya and Chris. At least they tried to keep it real. This is so pretentious and such an ego trip.

  90. The Redhead says

    Phil stays. Good job.
    Jordin stays.
    Sanjaya–the ground is shaking beneath your feet, bud.
    Lakisha, maybe, maybe not.
    Chris, it’s time to pack up for your home town.
    Melinda stays–big surprise.
    Blake…please go home…but he’ll be here next week.

  92. The Redhead says

    The Bobster just said that Blake sounded like Dylan!

    On that note, I bid you goodnight.

    See you tomorrow!

  94. The Redhead says

    I assume you’re watching House? I’ll have to check it out sometime.

    Ta Ta!

  95. The Redhead says

    Simon is under some fire today for rolling his eyes last night when Chris mentioned the shootings at Virginia Tech (yes, he did roll his eyes). I noticed it and thought he was doing it because he felt it was inappropriate for Chris to bring up the subject at that point in the program. Simon says differently. Who knows? I did think Simon was back-pedaling when he mentioned it at the end of the show.

    In the meantime, next week’s show is a special two hour fest and proceeds will go to charities. The Idol hopefuls will each choose a song that has inspired them–no celebrity coaches.

    If Sanjaya survives tonight, what about Blowin’ in the Wind, dude?

  96. The Redhead says

    Hi Turkey.

    Did you see that guy in front of the Kodak Theater? He looked like he was Jesus impostor! All that hair! Yikes!

  98. The Redhead says

    How old is Lakisha?

    How did Sanjaya make it out of auditions?

    I think there is a good chance Sanjaya may go home tonight. I think this “movement” behind him is fading.

  103. The Redhead says

    There you are! Hi, Turkey!

    Yes, I agree with you about the bottom three….maybe. I still think there’s a chance Sanjaya might find himself down in the hole.

  106. The Redhead says

    I keep hearing about Fergie, from Black Eyed Peas, right?

    What’s the big deal about her?

  109. The Redhead says

    I wore that hair style when I was in sixth grade. It was very popular then.

  140. The Redhead says

    I say Sanjaya is out tonight…unless the producers want to milk this a bit more.

  142. The Nittany Turkey says

    So, the bottom three are Blake, Lakisha, and Sanjaya. I understand why Phil is safe, but Chris? I guess he must be cute or something. I’ll have to ask a 14 year-old and get back to you.

  143. The Nittany Turkey says

    What do the producers have to do with Sanjaya staying or going? If Howard and his dumbass suplicants keep voting for him, he’ll stay (unless you think the vote is a sham). Do I sense a conspiracy theory?

  152. The Redhead says

    This song is so lame. By the numbers songwriting and singing. No soul. Just terrible.

  156. The Redhead says

    I think America (at least those who buy into this show) is musically challenged.

  167. The Redhead says

    I think they chose this song on purpose and knew what would be happening tonight. It’s not conspiracy theory–it’s show biz.

  174. The Redhead says

    Was it hell, really?

    The judges looked confused.

    I bet it was in reference to the campus shooting.

  176. The Redhead says

    We’ll find out on the morrow.

    Until next time, Turkey…

    (what will we do without Sanjaya???)

  185. The Redhead says

    Yeah, I get it.

    By the way, I’m a bit disenchanted with Paul. Heather may be a golddigger but I think Paul is a bit of a jerk.