Who is likely to get kicked off American Idol this week? Let your favorite railbird, The Nittany Turkey, handicap the remaining contestants’ chances of getting the axe this week.
This week is “country week.” Martina McBride will be the guest mentor. This creates a problem for just about everyone who remains. I’m a-thinkin’ that Haley would have been hot to watch in a pair of tight, studded jeans, but she’s gone. Oh, the singing, you say? Like American Idol is really about singing! Haley wasn’t much of a singer, but she sure as hell entertained me. If this competition is about singing, then why the hell is Sanjaya and his supporting cast of programmed idiots doing so well? But I digress. I just don’t think that country suits any of the remaining dudes and dudesses, but they they might just suprise us all.
So, without further ado, here’s the official Nittany Turkey odds prognostication for this week’s Idol blast-off:
Chris (2-1) – Will try to update some traditional country song and fail miserably.
Phil (7-2) – Phil actually could do a good job with country material. But Phil is weird and he’s going soon anyway.
Sanjaya (5-1) – The novelty of the Howard Stern / VoteForTheWorst.com engineered fiasco will soon wear off when the fools who are playing this game realize that they’re being played as idiot supplicants. Sanjaya did a credible job last week with Bésame Mucho, but will royally screw up a C&W song this week.
Blake (8-1) – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the guys are all weak this year. They pretty much suck, but Blake is the best of them. I dunno about how he’ll handle a country song, though.
Lakisha (20-1) – She might surprise me, but I don’t that big voice is suited to hearts & flowers country.
Melinda (30-1) – She’s versatile, and she can probably find a country song that suits her. Selection will be important.
Jordin (50-1) – This could be wishful thinking, but I think that Jordin will nail her song this week. Her support base is growing, she demonstrates a wonderful joie de vivre, and she possesses great maturity. Hard to believe that she’s only 17.
Now, button up them jeans, pull on your boots, cock your Stetson and get ready for the Idol hoe-down!
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Turkey, I think Jordin has the best chance of pulling off a good country music performance. Lakisha? It’s hard for me to see that happening. Melinda, a little more credible, depends on the material.
Too bad for you that Haley couldn’t have cooed:
Hey good lookin’!
Watcha got cookin?
Ah, but it was not to be…
(Please God, NO Garth songs!)
See you tomorrow evening!
I want to see Sanjaya doing some edgy Toby Keith number.
How about Phil doing George Jones’ [i]I Like Beer[/i]? Or Lakisha doing George’s estranged wife Tammy’s tune [i]Stand By Your Man[/i]?
This oughta be good.
—TNT
Hi Turkey. Here we go with Phil.
You were right–Phil is doing a good job with this tune! This is the best I’ve ever seen him. He shouldn’t have to worry about going home this week.
He seems comfortable with this genre.
And the judges, even Simon, agree! He’s put some real competition into the evening.
Yeah, now let’s see how the rest of them do out of their element!
Somebody’s gotta sing “Let Freedom Ring” — so I wonder if it will be Jordin.
I’m not crazy about this.
It’s too Whitney Houston.
I’m not either. I see a pattern here.
Paula is hammered.
Simon won’t love it as much as the other judges:
Wow–was I wrong about that!
This is going to be an interesting evening.
I think one thing Jordin has over M. Doolittle is personality; she has charisma.
It goes downhill from here. Sanjaya doing a Bonnie Raitt number.
Yeah, yeah, Paula.
I guess the judges disagree with both of us. I do agree with Randy that it was a good idea to start the song slowly like she did. Otherwise, I still didn’t care for it.
I’m hoping Sanjaya will really go out there and get hillbilly with a Hank Williams tune. He’s got the guts!
I think of Bonnie Raitt as more of a blues musician.
I think Raitt is great but there’s a sort of “sameness” to her material. Of course, that could be said about a lot of blues music.
He’s gonna do Something to Talk About.
You were right!
I like the red bandana.
Boy, does Sanjaya suck!
He’s like Wayne Newton after hemorrhoid surgery.
It’s sort of fitting that Sanjaya is doing “Something to Talk About” since he’s been giving people a lot of reason to talk about this show!
Ha!
I still think he should’ve really gone for it with an old country tune.
The Dog always keeps it real.
Paula esta borracho.
Simon speaks the truth.
Right on, Randy!
Paula’s trying to be nice.
Simon is fed up.
Simon is like Simon after hemorrhoid surgery.
What was that about Paula?
Ha! Good one, Turkey!
Interesting that Lakisha is singing a hit song by another AI contender.
Jesus gon’ be takin da wheel now, girl.
By an AI winner, as it were.
I don’ lak it. Too shouty Gospelly.
pfffffffffffffffffffffffft
Right on!
I don’t agree, I think it was one of her better performances.
Awwwwwwww Paula is havin a hard time of it.
Nobody’s going to do better than Jordin tonight. Get used to the idea. I’m ready for House.
Well, she does have a habit of “oversinging.” I still didn’t think it was as bad as the judges so obviously did.
Chris might actually nail a Rascal Flatts song.
Well, I was wrong. He ain’t gonna nail it.
He’s off at the beginning. I’m nervous for himl.
MURDER it is more like it. He sounds like Kris Kristofferson after hemorrhoid surgery.
The Bobster just came in and said, “He sounds awful, is he?”
Oh yes, my love, he is!
No, Kris sounds much better.
I nominate Chris for second-worst performance of the night, after Sanjaya.
That reminds me, someone should do “Me and Bobby McGee.”
Yeah. Janis Joplin should come back and do it.
Simon is on a roll tonight.
Simon likes puppies and his grandmother’s birthday is next November.
Melinda gon get sassy.
I think Sanjaya and Chris may actually tie.
HaHa! Good one about Janis.
I think The Bobster should be a judge on AI. He would always hit it right on the money!
I wish someone would do an old country tune. I dislike this contemporary, pretender country stuff.
Bring him in for Gangsta Rap Week.
When are they going to have “protest song” night? Now THAT would be interesting!
Ha! That would be interesting, too!
Your cheatin heart
will tell on you
Melinda gonna do some Tammy. Whattya say?
They really should have a hip-hop night. That would be fun!
Tammy would be cool but the Hank tune would be better!
She should sing Move it on Over!!
Oh, more of the same style for her.
Hey, she’s actually showing some personality this week.
She listened to the judges last week when they told her she looked too old. She looks young and hip tonight.
She makes it look easy.
Best job since I’m a Woman. Do I spot a good theme for her?
It’s a big step for a back-up singer. But she’s coming out of her shell.
And now, for the anticlimax of the night, we have Blake with Tipper Gore.
Simon’s right. She obviously has confidence as a vocalist–she must feel like she has to act humble and surprised so as not to alienate the other singers.
I think I handicapped them right this week. (See above.) The only thing that will upset my order of finish will be if Blake nails his number, which I doubt will happen. Thus, I win.
Well, let’s give him a chance (:
Well, Melinda is the only professional in the bunch. So, yeah, I think you’re right.
Yes, you’re good at predicting the results.
We await the final performance of the evening…
We await the anticlimax.
YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Ick! These are awful song choices.
Martina isn’t even convincing herself.
I think I wanna puke.
So pretentious but this audience will eat this 80’s version up.
Chris bites the dust this week. But maybe it will be Blake after that off-key ooooo-oooooo.
I absolutely hate this performance, even more than Sanjaya and Chris. At least they tried to keep it real. This is so pretentious and such an ego trip.
He can’t sing off-key and get a vote from me!
No, Blake stays–the little girls love it.
Simon wants to know what the other two are listening to.
Judges, get real!
Simon?
Okay. Understood.
Chris bites the dust.
VOTE FOR SANJAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All right. Ima watch House. You be well and seeya tomorrow night as we say farewell to Chris.
Phil stays. Good job.
Jordin stays.
Sanjaya–the ground is shaking beneath your feet, bud.
Lakisha, maybe, maybe not.
Chris, it’s time to pack up for your home town.
Melinda stays–big surprise.
Blake…please go home…but he’ll be here next week.
After all, we must see how Cameron and Chase handle the end of their brief, tempestuous sex-only affair of the heart.
The Bobster just said that Blake sounded like Dylan!
On that note, I bid you goodnight.
See you tomorrow!
🙂
I assume you’re watching House? I’ll have to check it out sometime.
Ta Ta!
Simon is under some fire today for rolling his eyes last night when Chris mentioned the shootings at Virginia Tech (yes, he did roll his eyes). I noticed it and thought he was doing it because he felt it was inappropriate for Chris to bring up the subject at that point in the program. Simon says differently. Who knows? I did think Simon was back-pedaling when he mentioned it at the end of the show.
In the meantime, next week’s show is a special two hour fest and proceeds will go to charities. The Idol hopefuls will each choose a song that has inspired them–no celebrity coaches.
If Sanjaya survives tonight, what about Blowin’ in the Wind, dude?
Hi Turkey.
Did you see that guy in front of the Kodak Theater? He looked like he was Jesus impostor! All that hair! Yikes!
Oh, here comes the group sing!
This song sucks.
How old is Lakisha?
How did Sanjaya make it out of auditions?
I think there is a good chance Sanjaya may go home tonight. I think this “movement” behind him is fading.
My prediction for the bottom three: Chris, Phil, and Lakisha.
Turkey is nowhere in sight! Looks like I’ll be on my own tonight.
Sanjaya made it out of auditions; his sister didn’t. I dunno how old Lakisha is.
Oh, yeah? 😀
There you are! Hi, Turkey!
Yes, I agree with you about the bottom three….maybe. I still think there’s a chance Sanjaya might find himself down in the hole.
I been listenin’ to uh, duh, Boy George.
La Fergbabe!
I keep hearing about Fergie, from Black Eyed Peas, right?
What’s the big deal about her?
Yeah, gotta love the Fisher-Price primary color bracelets.
I don’t like this. Big F-deal.
I wore that hair style when I was in sixth grade. It was very popular then.
That was before electricity.
This stinks. I mean so what, man?
Wake me up when it’s voting time.
I wouldn’t leave my chair to see Martina McBride perform, either. Country ain’t mah schtick.
OOOOH, mean! No fair.
GIVE US OUR BOTTOM THREE!!!!!!!
And let’s see, I guess that puts you…before Mozart?
I agree. I want to see the results.
Ditto on McBride.
If they get rid of one tonight, then next week at the Idol Gives Back extravaganza, Seacrest will once again be able to divide by three evenly.
Wait…what did I mean IF they get rid of one tonight?
True.
I also want to see him spar with Simon again (:
Who’s da nappy-headed ho?
I sort of like this take on the song and video thing.
Secret Agent Sanjaya–double-oh ZERO.
Bring in Richard Gere. I hear he’s popular in India.
I dig Pink.
Pink…cool.
And Annie Lennox.
Madonna, right? I mean, the Africa thing.
Well, Madonna’s got a new album to promote. 😉
She does?
Line ’em up…sit ’em down…kick out Sanjaya.
Sanjaya is in the bottom three.
Yep!
Oh, wow. This is weird.
Diplomacy, Melinda…diplomacy.
Come on…I can’t be wrong on this.
I’m not sure about this…
Never thought that Blake would be in the bottom three at this point.
Okay…weird that they kept Chris!
Simon is beginning to “sense something here.”
Could it be Sanjaya’s demise?
I say Sanjaya is out tonight…unless the producers want to milk this a bit more.
Okay Turkey. What do you think?
So, the bottom three are Blake, Lakisha, and Sanjaya. I understand why Phil is safe, but Chris? I guess he must be cute or something. I’ll have to ask a 14 year-old and get back to you.
What do the producers have to do with Sanjaya staying or going? If Howard and his dumbass suplicants keep voting for him, he’ll stay (unless you think the vote is a sham). Do I sense a conspiracy theory?
If Sanjaya is eliminated, I shall post a celebratory blog tonight!
I think the show’s producers have more say than they let on.
AHA! A CONSPIRACY THEORY!
Will we get to see Opie?
Jou are estilling my caracter.
Donkey would be a good American Idol.
She needs that outfit to show off her skinny legs.
I’m sleeping. Wake me up when Martina gets off the stage.
This song is so lame. By the numbers songwriting and singing. No soul. Just terrible.
🙁
Who actually listens to this s—?
Martina’s brat is cute.
I think America (at least those who buy into this show) is musically challenged.
C’mon…Sanjaya for ex-Idol!
Bye Bye Sanjaya.
See, this is where it’s screwed up. If Sanjaya stays, Lakisha goes and it’s a travesty.
It’s happening.
YES!!!!!
Let’s give us something to talk about, Sanjaya!!
Oh those water coolers are heating up.
Sanjaya is history!
Awww…he gave his moment in the sun quite a workout.
Awwww, he’s crying.
I think they chose this song on purpose and knew what would be happening tonight. It’s not conspiracy theory–it’s show biz.
Maybe the VoteForTheWorst.com crew shifted their votes to Chris this week.
He gets to choose his own songs, babydoll.
He’ll be on all the talkshows.
Other than hell? Is that what he’s singing?
Simon is elated. He’s smilier than anytime I’ve ever seen him.
I gotta check votefortheworst.com to see if they switched to Chris.
Was it hell, really?
The judges looked confused.
I bet it was in reference to the campus shooting.
Lemme back up the Tivo and see what you’re talking about.
We’ll find out on the morrow.
Until next time, Turkey…
(what will we do without Sanjaya???)
Back it up! I’m telling you, he was singing, “other than hell.”
No, it was “other than hair…hair…HAIR!”
……..what do you think?
But if you play it backward, it comes out, “Paul is dead.”
Oh…well, that makes sense (:
We did talk about his hair.
Goodnight, T!
He was being whimsical, inasmuch as people write about his hair every week.
No, it’s
“I buried Paul”
Goodnight, Ms. Redhead! Next week! Unless I see you Friday. Having lunch with Mathguy.
Yeah, I get it.
By the way, I’m a bit disenchanted with Paul. Heather may be a golddigger but I think Paul is a bit of a jerk.
I never liked Mr. McCartney, and I always did think he was a putz.
I know Mathguy! He’s a nice kid 🙂
See you soon!
And Turkey–
don’t forget to write your celebration blog!!