After Tuesday night’s performance, we’re gettin’ down to the short strokes on American Idol and one of the big, early favorites to win the whole thing is teetering on the brink of elimination. With two weeks to go before the big final event, Lakisha looks pretty shaky. So does Blake, but I wrote yesterday that he and Jordin would be in the final and I’m going to continue to will them there. So, Lakisha must go.
Lakisha has two singing volumes: loud and louder. Give her a tender ballad and she can’t resist the urge to shout it from the choir loft like a standout gospel soloist singing Gabriel Come Get Me or something. This lack of versatility—her annoying sameness—will ultimately doom her, whether it be this week or next.
Blake came up with a couple of pretty weird renditions on Tuesday. The Redhead called them original. I call them crap. Novelty acts are fun for a while, but Blake needs to reel in his instinct to beatbox everything up—at least until acknowledged stardom gives him the right to establish “weird” as the new mainstream. He ain’t gonna get there if he keeps up the Robbie the Robot stuttering sound effects.
I’m enjoying Melinda’s singing less now, because I’m seeing through to her core. She thinks she can win this thing by being a coolly professional technician. I think differently. Absent a recognizable, edgy personality, Melinda might just fall short. She’s a singing computer up there. She programs herself flawlessly and hits all the right notes, with the right crescendos and diminuendos, the right phrasing, and all the right moves. Only one thing is missing: emotion.
And thus, I continue to support Jordin as my favorite to win the whole damn kit and kaboodle. She’s fresh, she’s young, and she can sing. Unlike Melinda, she has a personality. She occasionally stretches beyond her capabilities but, unlike Blake, she doesn’t take that all the way to the lunatic fringe. And most of all, she’s likeable—the most likeable of all the finalist candidates. Last, but not least, she’s big—if she wasn’t so sweet, I’d be hoping for her to pick up that midget, Ryan Seacrest, and toss him into the audience mosh pit.
Come to think of it, I really don’t care if Blake is in the final, just as long as Jordin makes it. I really like that girl.
Share this:
Discover more from The Nittany Turkey
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
The Redhead says
Lakisha has gotten boring. Over the top all the time just doesn’t make it. I think Blake takes some real chances and I admire him for that. Sometimes the work, sometimes they don’t but he is an artist. Melinda has gotten dull for me, too. Something needs to change. Jordin, yes, she’s good and has a nice personality, but I’m not as sold on her as you are.
Who should go tonight? So long, Lakisha and may you keep singing in the choir.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, it’s a swan song for one of them.
The Nittany Turkey says
(That was a brilliant deduction by me, wasn’t it?)
The Redhead says
Evening, Turkey!
Did I hear them say Pink is on the show tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t trust them to deliver Pink. They lied to us before.
The Redhead says
I like that jazzy kick that Melinda gave that last tune.
The Redhead says
Hear that, Ben? PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Redhead says
PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK!!
The Nittany Turkey says
I found out that Jordin is 6′ tall and has a size 11 shoe. And…she is the daughter of an ex-NFL player.
The Nittany Turkey says
OMG it is really Pink…OMG OMG
The Nittany Turkey says
Maybe they can shitcan Barry Gibb’s number and let Pink do another one.
The Redhead says
Size 11 shoe–those are some big feet for a gal!
The Nittany Turkey says
OMG
The Redhead says
NO–I want to hear the Bee Gee!
I don’t really care for this boring, sub-standard song.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin was also a “plus size” model.
The Nittany Turkey says
SubWHOSEstandard?
The Redhead says
Not a fan of the dress though she looks great in it.
The Redhead says
The song–not Pink.
The Nittany Turkey says
Turn on her microphone.
The Redhead says
They’re kind of off key.
The Redhead says
I love the songs these guys wrote. The Australian Beatles!
The Redhead says
Lakisha deserves to be in the final four–for all of her flaws, she’s got a great set of pipes. She just hasn’t learned proper control of them yet.
The Redhead says
This group sing is really awful.
The Nittany Turkey says
They are English. They just happened to move to Australia.
The Redhead says
Hey, it’s Bill Mahr!
I know how much you like him 🙂
The Redhead says
Whatever.
The Nittany Turkey says
Once they’re gone, they can do whatever the hell they want.
The Redhead says
What’s the snack this evening, Turkey? More boozy berries?
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, Maher is one of my all-time favorites.
The Redhead says
Hmmmm, being just a tad sarcastic?
The Nittany Turkey says
No food this late.
The Redhead says
Did you know Math Guy is home from Tallahickie?
The Redhead says
Gee, I just finished dinner before the show came on.
The Nittany Turkey says
He’s second favorite to Al Gore.
Come to think of it, they’re both irrelevant.
The Redhead says
This smoke is really bothering me. How about you?
The Nittany Turkey says
Yes, you told me that he was home yesterday.
The Redhead says
I guess Don Rickles is more your style 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
I’m not feeling much of an effect from the smoke.
The Redhead says
Yeah, I know. I just wasn’t sure you read that part.
The Nittany Turkey says
Rickles is getting a little old. So is Billy Connolly.
The Redhead says
It’s bothering me, makes me feel like I have a bad allergy.
The Redhead says
Billy Connolly. Is he that Engish guy from Four Weddings and a Funeral?
The Redhead says
Maybe you go for Sandra Bernhard?
The Nittany Turkey says
It’s bothering a lot of people I know. A couple of them have asthma, and they are just staying inside.
The Nittany Turkey says
Sandra is wwwwwwwwwwwaayyyyyyyyyyyy too liberal for my ass.
The Redhead says
I’m convinced we’re never going to have a couple of solid days of rain again.
The Redhead says
She’s a bit to angry for me.
The Nittany Turkey says
Why these entertainment weenies think they all have to HAVE a political orientation and broadcast it is a mystery to me. It’s like they think that we’ll actually listen to them!
The Redhead says
Wow. Jessica. You’re so brainy.
The Nittany Turkey says
Not even Tropical Storm Andrea will bring us much rain.
The Redhead says
Some people do. Mahr is very popular. Larry King loves him 🙂
The Redhead says
HAHAHA! That Melinda was such a card!
The Nittany Turkey says
But Larry King is a Zombie.
The Redhead says
Larry King–he just cracks himself up.
The Nittany Turkey says
Anyone who says Ryan Seacrest could be his replacement probably doesn’t think too much of himself.
The Redhead says
I’m a Conan O’Brian fan. I also like that Scottish guy that’s on late. Don’t recall his name.
The Redhead says
Huh? Not sure what you mean with the Seacrest comment.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, Conan is pretty funny. And rumor has it that he possesses the largest schlong in Hollywood, eclipsing Milton Berle’s record.
The Redhead says
Oh! King actually said that about Seacrest? Yikes!
The Nittany Turkey says
Larry King actually said that Seacrest would be a good potential replacement for His Nibs, if and only if Seacrest studied current events.
The Redhead says
Who says that about the Conan? Where did you hear that?
The Redhead says
Come on. Let’s get this over for the poor kids.
The Nittany Turkey says
His wife. She called me.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah…let’s tell one or two they’re safe.
The Redhead says
Jordin’s an Amazon!
The Nittany Turkey says
She could play linebacker if she doesn’t make it here.
The Redhead says
Jordin = Safe.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin = hot
The Nittany Turkey says
Hell, Barry’s older than I am.
The Redhead says
Yeah!!! I love this!
The Redhead says
But Barry can still sing a nice tune, he just can’t hold the notes as long.
The Nittany Turkey says
Let’s get the old feller offa there.
The Nittany Turkey says
He never could. He just did the staccato vibrato thing to mask it.
The Redhead says
Isn’t at least one of his brothers still alive?
This is kind of sad.
The Redhead says
Turkey, you’re so mean.
The Nittany Turkey says
This sounds like an old fart singing the Bee Gees. I’d prefer to remember them as the disco queens they were.
The Redhead says
I just read that Katie Couric’s ratings are in the tank–the lowest for that newscast since the 1980s.
The Nittany Turkey says
Mean = accurate, from my perspective. Barry’s gonna put himself up for public display; therefore, he opens himself up for my criticism.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, I saw that Katie stuff, too. Miss Perky ain’t gettin’ it. They should have stuck with Bob Schieffer.
The Redhead says
They did a lot more than just disco.
The Nittany Turkey says
I wonder if they are actually trying to squeeze 74 minutes of commercials into a 60 minute program.
The Redhead says
Yes, I liked Bob Schieffer. What were they thinking? And Katie should’ve known better. She was listening to the wrong people (and her swelling head).
The Redhead says
No, 104 minutes.
The Nittany Turkey says
Between Westinghouse, the late Tisch brothers, and Viacom, they really screwed up the Tiffany Network.
The Nittany Turkey says
I cannot identify the VS model’s accent.
The Redhead says
Hey, it’s Lindsay–party down–Lohan!
The Redhead says
Which do you fancy, Turkey?
Paris, Lindsay, or Britney?
At least Lindsay has some talent.
The Nittany Turkey says
Lindsay is my odds-on favorite to play the lead role in The Tonya Harding Story.
The Redhead says
Get ready, LaKisha. It’s time to sing your swan song.
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda = safe (+/-)
The Redhead says
Nah, she should play Nancy Kerrigan.
The Nittany Turkey says
Make a guess, Simon.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is hammered.
The Redhead says
Paula, you’re so deep.
The Nittany Turkey says
Great soliloquy.
The Nittany Turkey says
Congratulations, Redhead…we da bomb!
The Redhead says
Lakisha’s song choice of Stayin’ Alive proved to be ironic.
The Nittany Turkey says
If we had Aretha as guest mentor every week, LaKisha would have won hands down.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now it’s time for you to get all maudlin about LaKisha’s departure.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin and Melinda are crying. Which tears are real?
The Redhead says
She can shout all she wants now.
The Redhead says
I say, you go girl!!!
The Redhead says
It’s good she’s packing. Her voice is sounded tired and ragged.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think she should go over and plant a big one on Simon’s kisser.
The Redhead says
Who is the musical guest mentor next week? Did they announce it yet?
The Nittany Turkey says
Next week, we’ll see if we can’t eliminate Melinda’s sameness.
The Nittany Turkey says
I did not hear who is the guest next week.
The Nittany Turkey says
Pink! Hahahahahahahhahahhahahahaha 😀
The Redhead says
A good mentor might help shake her up.
The Redhead says
Are you serious?
The Nittany Turkey says
No, I made that up.
The Redhead says
Well, Turkey, let me bid you farewell til next week as I warble:
Smoke gets in your eyes…
(and nose, lungs, etc.)
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, if I don’t see you Friday, I’ll see you back here next week.
The Redhead says
Are you watching this news yuckster? Yikes.
The Nittany Turkey says
I hope the wind shifts for you.
The Redhead says
I’ll be at work 🙁
See you next week, same time/same place!
The Nittany Turkey says
Be well! 🙂