Tonight is the penultimate “big night” on American Idol, for on stage three talented song stylists will be singing their hearts out to earn two finalist slots. Each contestant will sing three songs and for each, all three songs must be right on the money or the fickle voting public will cut off that contestant’s head with a carving knife. See how they run?
On the other hand, something other than pure singing performance might well govern this elimination. I said “fickle,” didn’t I? “The American People” have proven themselves to be replete with strange voting blocs not only in this year’s competition (viz., Sanjaya) but also in each of the prior years. Someone good always exits early. By the time they reach the cut from three to two, however, the wheat has been separated from the chaff musically, so other factors come to the fore.
That’s why we’ll be saying goodbye to Melinda Doolittle this week. Melinda is the most professionally polished of the remaining singers, but her cool, technical perfection will do her in. Though her songs are everything a vocal coach would want, Melinda does not connect with her audience. Her musical comeuppance was as a backup singer where she let someone else do the connecting while she did what she did best: singing. That’s still what she does best—better than the other two but not yet good enough for prime time.
The two survivors, Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks, are the perfect duo for the final night of performances on May 22. They appeal to a similar demographic; thus, they will divide the voting public right down the middle. We really haven’t had that sort of a final since the great Bo vs. Carrie war of two years ago. I’ll withhold judgment regarding the eventual winner. Hell, I had picked Bo when Carrie won, so I don’t want to jinx anybody just yet.
Tonight, song selection will be of paramount importance. We have no guest mentor to restrict the choices to a particular genre. Accordingly, contestants can have no excuses if they choose unsuitable material. So, the key to success this week is: Pick good songs and sing the hell out of them!
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The Nittany Turkey says
Good evening, fair Redhead!
Whazzup, babe.
The Nittany Turkey says
If you ain’t here yet, I’ll start withoutya.
The Redhead says
Hey, Turkey!
The Redhead says
Yes, Jordin did a nice job.
I’m not convinced Doolittle will go home tonight. I think whether she stays or goes is contingent upon one thing and that is how badly Blake screws up! If he doesn’t embarrass himself, Melinda will get the boot. One thing’s for sure tonight–Jordin is safe.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin looked nervous.
The Nittany Turkey says
But she got it on, she did the thing, she made it happen…so dog…yo…
The Redhead says
Wouldn’t you be?
Once again, Ryan did not introduce Paula. What’s up with that?
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is hammered.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula has a dancing gig at one of the gentlemen’s clubs over on Sepulveda.
The Redhead says
Huh? Paula is dealing with self-esteem issues?
The Nittany Turkey says
When do we get the beatbox.
The Redhead says
Now, this is a cool choice for Blake. He’s even got a Sting kind of timbre to his voice.
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t speak Pop Psych. Does that mean the same as, “Is Paula hammered?”
The Nittany Turkey says
If he would only sing it in tune.
The Redhead says
Whoops, he lost his timing there.
Also, looks like he left his beat-boxing at home for now.
Boy, these background singers are terrible.
He’s doing his best Sting imitiation.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is out of it.
The Redhead says
I agree with Simon–sorry Paula.
Now I think that song could’ve used Blake’s beatbox.
The Redhead says
What I was referring to was Ryan’s comment after the break, that Simon is “already having self-esteem issues.”
?
The Redhead says
Please make it your own, Melinda, don’t do an easy Whitney imitation.
The Redhead says
So far, she sounds great. Very smooth. Like the pro she is.
The Nittany Turkey says
We all know that when you do a Whitney song, you get compared directly to Whitney and thus, you don’t do well for yourself. Melinda is delivering another straight rendition (replete with Mariah crap) and it doesn’t save her ass for another week, in my less than humble opinion.
The Redhead says
I think she’s doing a great job with this.
The Redhead says
We’ll see.
The Nittany Turkey says
I actually thought it was good, but I am willing my prediction.
The Redhead says
I agree with Paula.
And Simon.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, I forgot how they did this week. There’s one selected by the judges, one by Clive Whosis or whatever the hell his name is, and one by the contestant.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’m on prednisone and vicodin, so I’m not responsible for any untoward statements I might make about Paula.
The Nittany Turkey says
She should have done this last year when the aged Donna Summer was one of the guest mentorettes.
The Nittany Turkey says
She has the right edgy face for this song. She’s into the semantics of it.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ole!
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is taking a break from working hard for the money on Sepulveda.
The Nittany Turkey says
Seacrest is 5’7″. Jordin is 6’0″.
The Redhead says
I missed her! I had to take out the dogs. What song did she sing?????
The Nittany Turkey says
Jim Carrey? Hahahhahahah 😀
The Redhead says
Hey Turkey, why the pain pills? Your back?
The Nittany Turkey says
She sang She Works Hard for the Money (Donna Summer).
The Nittany Turkey says
My two-week old stiff neck. Going to get an MRI of it the same day as I get my kidney MRI.
The Redhead says
He’s out of tune.
This isn’t working for me.
Well, now he’s doing the beatbox thing…it might save him.
The Redhead says
Why the kidney MRI?
The Nittany Turkey says
Blake’s voice is almost as boring as Phil Collins’. I think I made that comparison before.
The Nittany Turkey says
Unidentified mass in my right kidney.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK…Blake is sort of safe, maybe.
The Nittany Turkey says
Hey, how come we have Mazda instead of Ford commercials?
The Redhead says
Math Guy and I want to know when the MRI takes place.
The Redhead says
Maybe both have to be–
“fixed or repaired daily.”
The Nittany Turkey says
When I know when the MRI(s) take place, I’ll let you know. I haven’t scheduled them yet.
The Nittany Turkey says
Awwww…Melinda’s grandparents are so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.
The Nittany Turkey says
“Sweet Melinda” is trying to portray a Tina Turner edge. Think she can?
The Nittany Turkey says
I think she’s lost maybe 20 pounds, or that top is really flattering.
The Nittany Turkey says
Will Paula’s love be enough for Melinda?
The Nittany Turkey says
A tie between Blake and Melinda?
The Nittany Turkey says
Did your computer blow up or are you walking the dogs again?
The Redhead says
Well, I’m not really with the judges on this one. I thought Melinda’s performance of this raunchy and raucous Tina Turner number was too polished. It needed some rough edges to really get there.
The Redhead says
I had to get a snack–rice squares with almonds and cashews, yum 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
And what you see is what the viewing audience sees. The judges see it from the stage, and they get a whole different perspective. Paula’s love is the only important thing coming from the judges at this point.
The Redhead says
Yeah, Melinda does look thinner?
So what did you think of this performance?
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, yeah? I think I’ll get some South Beach Diet chocolate chip cookies.
The Nittany Turkey says
I thought the same thing you thought. She can’t easily transform herself into Tina.
The Redhead says
I Who Have Nothing?
I’m a bit skeptical.
Okay, Jordin–pull off your best Tom Jones.
The Redhead says
Hasn’t she done this before? It actually really fits her.
She’s pulling it off well.
The Redhead says
Okay, she’s a major contender now.
The Nittany Turkey says
I wish they’d put an end to that stupid cheering in the middle of a song. It’s friggin’ distracting. Jordin is bordering on screaming.
The Redhead says
The judges are going to love it.
The Nittany Turkey says
I bet Simon doesn’t like it for the screaming.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula needs to give some love.
The Nittany Turkey says
Simon can BITE MY ASS! 😉
The Redhead says
I agree with Simon–the song is a bit mature for her…yet she pulled it off.
Hey, young love.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin is big, she’s cute, and she’s gonna win.
The Redhead says
Jordin has a lot of passion in her singing. I think that helps her sound more mature.
The Redhead says
YES!!! I like this Blake performance.
The Nittany Turkey says
Just wait until he starts the beatbox crap.
The Redhead says
Not bad for a white boy.
The Nittany Turkey says
He is an original, I’ll say that.
The Redhead says
I think this is the song he’s been needing tonight.
Melinda better blow him away,
otherwise,
farewell, sweet Ms. Doolittle…
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, he saved it for the end.
The Nittany Turkey says
It was aiiiiiight, man. It was aiiiiiiiiight.
The Redhead says
Come on, Randy–
Yay! Simon and I agree.
The Nittany Turkey says
And now, Sweet Ms. Doolittle.
The Redhead says
Yes, Blake ending the night with that performance was very smart.
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda’s last blast.
The Nittany Turkey says
Old Navy!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Redhead says
I’m really starting to agree with you, Turkey.
I will be sad to bid Melinda goodbye. She’ll get her recording contract but I’m not sure she’ll sell…then again, she may transfer very well to the groove on the disc (so to speak).
The Redhead says
Why is House such a good show?
The Redhead says
Here we go…
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, I think anyone in the final three will do well. Sometimes, #2 has done better than #1 (like Clay Aiken vs. Ruben Studdard).
The Nittany Turkey says
Because House is such an obnoxious prick.
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda is trying to show a hard edge tonight.
The Redhead says
They have done these songs before.
I remember her doing this–I thought it was her best performance..it’s like her signature song.
The Nittany Turkey says
Peggy Lee can’t be beat on this song.
The Nittany Turkey says
I like the backup singers better. But this is an old, old song without much current appeal.
The Redhead says
What about Maria Muldaur?
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s got to pull in the voting demographic and that song doesn’t do it.
The Redhead says
Paula looks good. She’s got some Botox going on.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, she’s consistent. But by and large, boringly so.
The Redhead says
That’s Simon’s nice way of saying, “you’re terrific, but you’re going home tomorrow night.”
The Nittany Turkey says
Get your cell phone out and start voting for Blake and Jordin.
The Redhead says
Aw Turkey, you used to be so high on Melinda. What happened, buddy?
The Nittany Turkey says
Aren’t you missing the Republican candidates’ debate?
The Redhead says
Blake looks like the nerdy white guy that he is.
The Nittany Turkey says
That’s fully documented in my last few blogs. I shall not repeat it here.
The Redhead says
OHHH, what a choice. Mitt Romney or Blake….whom shall I choose???
The Nittany Turkey says
He looks like a young Taylor Hicks.
The Redhead says
I know you wrote about it, I just hoped you would pontificate some more 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda is 28, I think. That’s probably substantially above the median age of the viewing/voting audience.
The Redhead says
Simon says…but it’s not gonna happen.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’ll leave the pontification to Simon.
The Redhead says
Well, Turkey, Math Guy is bugging me to walk the dogs with him. Gotta fly!
It’s been fun–see you tomorrow.
The Nittany Turkey says
And now, back to House.
The Nittany Turkey says
Be well, and see you tomorrow for Melinda’s denouement.
The Nittany Turkey says
Homer Simpson does the lead-in.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yo dog, check in. We have a star-studded show tonight. Melinda has no neck. Elliot Yamin will perform.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula ist verhummert.
The Nittany Turkey says
Next week we get to see the hotties who were eliminated, as all Top 12 come back to perform.
The Nittany Turkey says
Simon wants to see “[his] girl Melinder [sic]” in the final.
The Nittany Turkey says
I predict that what they do to screw with our minds is about halfway through the show, Seacrest will announce that one of them is safe. I’m hoping that will be Jordin. Then, we’ll have to wait until the end to see whether she’s joined by neckless Melinda or feckless Blake.
The Nittany Turkey says
When it comes time for Melinda’s day at home to be featured, we’ll see her presiding over the First Annual Human Fireplug convention.
The Nittany Turkey says
Blake’s visit home is being conducted to a Keane soundtrack.
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, that’s Blake doing a Keane song.
The Nittany Turkey says
(I get the feeling that I’m talking to myself here.)
The Nittany Turkey says
(Not a bad feeling, mind you.)
The Nittany Turkey says
But I miss my Redhead.
The Redhead says
Hey, Turkey!!!! I’m so glad you’re still here. We’ve got company. I thought I’d be free by now but I snuck up here to say “hi.” Sorry to miss blogging with you!
What has happened? Looks like not much but promotional stuff.
I’ll check back to read the results!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
Elliot was never one of my favorites, but the new hair improves his formerly horsey look.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yo, Red…I’ll keep up the onanistic commentary so you’ll have a full dynamic recap when you eventually get here.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think Elliot got his teeth veneered, too.
The Nittany Turkey says
And straightened.
The Nittany Turkey says
They couldn’t do much with his jut-jaw, but the curly hair sort of takes the edge off of it.
The Nittany Turkey says
Elliot said he likes Porsches. He got a dirty look from Seacrest, who said, “That’s a no-no on this show.” Ford’s got them in the stranglehold.
The Nittany Turkey says
Then Seacrest said (reading from the TelePrompter), “Coming up after the break, we have more emotional results and…Melinda goes home….” He got a weird look on his face, like “Did I really say she was going home?” He meant, of course, that they would be featuring Melinda’s visit home.
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda’s got the gum exposure thing going on. Gwen did, too, but Gwen has a neck.
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda’s singing for the home crowd, doing the Mariah shit.
The Nittany Turkey says
We’ll have to sit through Maroon Five before we get the results, as we move inexorably toward the grand finale next week. Who will be the odd man out? Ahhh, there will be tears. 😮
The Nittany Turkey says
You’re missing the Wet ‘n’ Wild commercial.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK…here we go… Jordin is first to get her results.
The Nittany Turkey says
60 million votes, and Jordin is safe!
The Nittany Turkey says
And who will join her?
The Nittany Turkey says
Melinda is called upon first. She’s going home.
The Nittany Turkey says
And we once again called it! There is much booing going on in the audience. Melinda is smiling, but Jordin is crying.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin and Blake in the big finale.
The Nittany Turkey says
Randy says Melinda has nothing to be ashamed of.
Paula said she’s already made it.
Simon congratulated the two finalists and then congratulated Melinda, who he said was one great singer.
The Nittany Turkey says
And Melinda is doing “I’m a Woman” for her swan song.
The Nittany Turkey says
So we get to see Haley next week, but will we see Antonella Barba?
The Redhead says
Finally! Thanks for your great play-by-play, Turkey. I have to admit, I’m a bit disappointed that it’s not a Melinda/Jordin contest 🙁
Next week they all come back? You get to see Haley!
I’m off to crash for the evening. Look forward to meeting next week as we move toward the big finale.
Take care!