Turkey Lurkey

Oh, yeah, I know. We won. We put 45 points on the scoreboard. Way cool. But are we moving forward or backward? And is our vaunted defense a bit overrated and overhyped if we allow Buffalo—Buffalo!—to move the ball effectively on us and score 24 points? Let’s get honest with ourselves here.

Awww, come on Turkey. We don’t need any of your rampant negativism here, dude.

How about realism. Did you see the ND-Michigan game? Do you still think we can beat Michigan?

Appalachian State and Oregon are old news. Our coaches and our players better damn well spend this week working on some of the deficient crap we saw today. For if we start the Michigan game in their house the way we started this game in our house, we’ll dig a great big hole from which we’ll be loath to extricate ourselves.

Two fumbles in the first half by Austin Scott? I guess that had something to do with the meshing and clicking Austin said we needed to do to get going in the first half. Fortunately, Joe sat him down. “Sit down, son.” Austin did his meshing and clicking on the bench for a while. Rodney Kinlaw came in and delivered a career performance—23 carries for 129 yards. But put that in perspective. This was Buffalo.

You know, the Big Ten is up for grabs and if we actually play in the first half of our conference games, we have a decent shot at the conference title, so then we can get killed in a bowl game unless we draw some overrated or just plain crappy team like Tennessee or FSU the last couple of bowls. OK, maybe that’s a little unfair to the Lions. After all, they did win those bowl games. But do you really think these guys could even carry the jockstraps of, say, USC?

Do you really think that this is a top 15 team? They haven’t shown me anything to suggest it this year. The AP writers and the coaches are obviously looking at the scoreboard, not at the games. For sentimental reasons, Penn State is always #1 in our hearts, but being coolly objective, this is not a #12 team. Not until they show something against a legitimate top 15 team.

When our defense gives up almost 400 yards and 24 points to Buffalo, what does that portend for our forthcoming Big Ten games? This was a Mid-America Conference team, folks. Or does the Big Ten suck worse than the MAC? Or do we “play down” to the level of our competition? The Enquiring Turkey wants to know.

You know I’ve said it before. I’m sick and tired of hearing how great our defense is for a couple of reasons. First, they obviously haven’t played anybody. And second, isn’t all the overcompensating attention being paid to the defense just a good way to divert attention from our shaky offense? Will Morelli, Scott, and the deficient offensive line be able to put points on the board against competent defenses, or will we have to call upon the defense to do the scoring?

Oh, by the way, welcome back Andrew Quarless! Two TDs ain’t a bad way to stage a comeback.

And great reception of that batted ball in the end zone, Jordan Norwood—or was it a reception? I know, I know. It was reviewed by the honorary booth reviewer, Stevie Wonder. We’ll take it! [This just in, with thanks to RD: Turns out that the replay official was Dick Honig, the guy who Paterno chased into the tunnel at halftime of the Iowa game in 2002. Ahh, intimidation brings redemption… —TNT]

But we better do something about that pass defense! Wet Willy went 29-41 to light us up for 337 yards. Justin King made two or three big mistakes. Bright spot: Scirotto had a couple of interceptions, one a total gift. But this was Buffalo. Back to reality, if you saw the ND-Michigan game, you know that even without Henne, the Wolverines can pass. The game plan just didn’t call for much passing—Mike Hart chewed up 187 yards to deliver his promised victory. It is not known whether we’ll face Henne or Mallett next week, but the pass defense better be present either way. Mario Manningham and Adrian Arrington will indeed show up. You can be certain of it. So, our pass defense better show up.

I am not as worried about the run defense next week, but Mike Hart gives me cause for concern. We’ll be facing bigger, faster, and better offensive linemen than we have see this year to date, by a big margin. And we’ll certainly be looking at a much more talented running back than any we’ve seen since last year’s Michigan game. Mike Hart can run all day long. How can anyone call ours a great defense until we’ve actually played against someone? I know, I know…until Michigan beat Notre Dame so convincingly, everybody including this Turkey was writing them off. We figured that we could “run the table” because hell, we survived our “big test” with Notre Dame and Michigan sucked. That was premature, wasn’t it? Michigan proved that Notre Dame was a pretender. Thus, the Nittany Lions have not yet played anyone this year. QED.

I come back to the point that if these guys do that slow start shit next week against Michigan, they’re going to fly home with our dicks in our hands. What is it with this team, anyway? They redefine the hackneyed cliche “not ready for prime time.” I asked them to show that they could play a complete, error-free game and they once again gave us a nail-biter for most of the first two periods. This is not power football. It’s pussy football. And it won’t fly against the likes of Michigan.

Furthermore, if people on this team should discount Michigan and make the automatic assumption that we can run the table with a half-assed offense, we’ll surely lose to not only Michigan, but also Iowa, Wisconsin, and Ohio State. Demoralized by those four losses, we’ll lose to Moo U., too. That makes this game crucial for both on-field and in-head performance. Getting the offense in gear to play entire games should be the number one priority of the coaching staff at this point. It’s no longer an unproven conjecture that the offense starts slowly—three games of this crap provides undeniable proof.

OK, look, dudes. The real season is about to begin and this next game will tell us a great deal about this team. Will they suddenly gain the moxie to step onto the field at the Big House and play their asses off from the opening kickoff straight through to the final gun? This game will separate the tomcats from the pussies.