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Home General Domino’s Oreo Dessert Pizza — An Al Qaeda Plot?

Domino’s Oreo Dessert Pizza — An Al Qaeda Plot?

Posted on September 16, 2007 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Domino’s Oreo Dessert PizzaWho the hell dreamed up this latest food travesty? Osama bin Laden? I just saw the associated Domino’s commercial for the first time during an NFL game and I’m suitably disgusted. At first, I thought it was a damn spoof or something.

The damn thing looks like a small pizza with Oreo cookies crumbled on top and drizzled with an ominous looking, Elmer’s Glue-like white fluid. (I’m praying that this is confectioner’s sugar and water instead of what it looks like.) It is supposedly delivered warm.

From an August 29 Domino’s press release:

"We are thrilled to partner with a great brand like OREO-one that our
customers loved as kids and still love today," said Ken Calwell, chief
marketing officer, Domino's Pizza. "This is a great opportunity to combine
the power of Domino's Pizza and one of America's favorite cookies to
deliver a unique, fun and delicious new dessert for our customers!"

The commercial is just plain disgusting. After eating this garbage, a guy and a kid, presumably a father and son, get chocolate crumbs and shit on their faces in the shape of a pencil-line mustache (the kid) and a Van Dyke beard (the guy). The kid laments that he cannot achieve the fullness of the adult’s crap-beard. The shit-faced father offers words of encouragement, intimating that someday the kid will be able to get food all over his fucking face, just like Dad. So now, to add insult to injury, this commercial encourages slob-ass, piggish table manners while pushing its insidious poison at us.

Is it any wonder we’re turning into a nation of fat fucks if people actually order crap like this? Who the hell could stomach it, anyway? Kids, I imagine. We sure as hell are not training them well. Parents, do not—I repeat—do not accede to your kids’ wishes when they tell you they want this abomination. It is no doubt an Al Qaeda plot to render our population fat, sodden, and defenseless.

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Filed Under: General, Penn State Football Tagged With: Current Events, Health Care, Humor, Sports

Comments

  1. Shannon says

    September 20, 2007 at 7:55 am

    LOL max – were u feeling particularly venemous this day??? Fat F*cks indeed!

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  2. The Nittany Turkey says

    September 20, 2007 at 8:41 am

    Venomous is a good word for my reaction to this crap! And I was inspired to put Super Size Me in my Netflix queue. I’d review it here, but I’d be about two years too late. Besides, I review only pure crap like Category 7 here. But I digress…

    —TNT

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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