The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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What Were They Thinking?

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The American Idol public has voted and…

Michael Johns is out.

There’s always a shocker at this stage of the competition. Michael was this year’s version. A solid singer with no glaring flaws or distracting tattoos, Johns just gets up there and sings with passion and style. He’s got a good voice. He’s good looking. His rendition of “Dream On” was adequate, in this writer’s opinion. So why is he gone?

…of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”

Thank you, John Greenleaf Whittier.

Wait, that doesn’t rhyme unless you pronounce pen like peen and been like bean; or pen like pin and been like bin; or pen like pen and been like Ben. ???? ??? ???? Hey, that’s my name! There are lots of possibilities. Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like bean. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???? Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like Ben. Some of us pronounce pen like pen and been like bin. What is poetry, anyway? Haiku doesn’t rhyme. What the hell. Know what I’m sayin’. Sheeeiiiitttt! (That’s Ebonic for “Oh, darn! ???? ???? ????? ”)

Michael Johns gone
No stopping Mexican kid
Kristy Lee must stay.

I didn’t expect Johns to be in the final two, but in my thinking he was at least good enough for the final four, which I believe should have been David Archuleta, David Cook, and Carly Smithson, in addition to Johns.

However, who am I to make such a prediction when the American public votes the way they do? It is not up to me to set the standards. Each voter gets to vote his or her own mind, just as many times as their button-pushing fingers, their patience, and their persistence will allow.

So, one has to suspect that the demography of the voting population is substantially different from mine. They have to be a helluva lot younger, for one thing. Youth is a state of mind, you say, but try and keep up with current affairs in the music business! I find myself 5, 10, 15 years behind and the gap is widening. Perhaps the brain has a limited capacity for accommodating pop music as it ages or perhaps our clinging to our old favorites—damn old, at this point—limits the absorptive capacity for new additions. Or maybe a lot of what’s currently popular doesn’t suit us. Or maybe much of it is pure crap. We had pure crap back in my younger days, but none of it had to do with bitches, hoes, and cappin’ cops’ asses. (Remember “Surfer Bird” by the Trashmen? That was the 60s. How about the 50s? “Purple People Eater”? But I digress…)

We know one thing: David Archuleta is destined to prevail in this competition unless he fatally alienates his fan base, which is highly unlikely. It appears to this Turkey that David Cook and Carly Smithson with any hope of offering him a serious challenge, but I have to believe that those hopes are slim. However, anything can happen. I have proved regularly by my off-base predictions here that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’m out of touch with the voters.

This week features Mariah Carey as “guest mentor.” In other words, she’s promoting her new album and her signature perfume. This is the blurb from the Idol web site:

After being a part of the highly successful Idol Gives Back show last week, international superstar Mariah Carey will be gracing the “Idol” stage once again this Wednesday (results night) to sing “Bye Bye,” the latest single from her new album, E=MC2.

So, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson will have good chances to show off their pipes this week. So will the backup singers. I think Brooke White can probably do well, too, if she picks the right Mariah song. So can David Archuleta. It remains to be seen whether Jason Castro and David Cook can adapt this kind of commercial crap to their style.

And Kristy Lee Cook—dear Kristy—what will you do for Daddy this week? Choose well, you long-legged, fresh-faced baby girl, and keep this old Turkey happy for yet another week!

Looking is all I can do about it at my age! (Right, Artificially Sweetened?)

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Comments

  3. The Redhead says

    I’m on board.

    I take it little David went first? Sounds like he was a hit.

  4. The Redhead says

    From what I heard, the little guy did it with feeling.

    Is this Mariah night?

  6. The Redhead says

    Turkey, I enjoyed your poetic stream-of-consciousness flight.

    By the way, remember “Superfly?” Great song, though.

  8. The Redhead says

    Curtis Mayfield, one of the great soul singers/musicians.

    Mariah night is going to be pretty monotonous-note–Ah===oh–eeee–oooo.

  12. The Redhead says

    This song reminds me of high school. It came out just after my boyfriend and I broke up. I was devastated.

  15. The Redhead says

    This isn’t making it. I don’t believe she “can’t live.” There’s a lack of emotion.

  17. The Redhead says

    The power points WERE the weak point, Randy!

    Paula–get your words out, girl!

    Simon is right, as usual.

  19. The Redhead says

    She does seem more relaxed than she has.

    Turkey, I’m just not a big Carly believer. She has underwhelmed me every week.

  20. The Redhead says

    The positive and encouraging words from Simon might save her…but thinking back on last week,

    maybe not.

  24. The Redhead says

    Just SING the song. You don’t have to add all the trills and flourishes. That’s just showing off. This isn’t opera.

  26. The Redhead says

    Mariah was pointing? I must not have been watching at that moment? Tell me about it.

  29. The Redhead says

    Ha–“retching!” Good one.

    I missed that. What point was Simon making?

  33. The Redhead says

    Simon is picky about song choice. Also, I think sometimes he feels he just need to make a criticism of some sort.

  37. The Redhead says

    Brooke. It’s time to kick her off. Her singing and whining are so lame.

  41. The Redhead says

    Well, she’s not terrible on this. She’s got the Alicia Keys thing going (am I the only one who thinks Alicia is WAY over-rated?).

    Some bum notes but there’s a nice tone to her voice.

  43. The Redhead says

    I bet Sheryl Crow is one of her heroines.

    Sheryl Crow. Not one of mine.

  51. The Redhead says

    She’s doing it with the country twang.

    She’s really loosened up on this show. I don’t think she’s as bad as I once did.

  55. The Redhead says

    I don’t really agree with Simon. True, it’s wasn’t great but it wasn’t “whiney” either.

    No, we need to look to Brooke for that 🙂

  56. The Redhead says

    How old is Paula? She looks pretty good, especially when you compare her to Madonna who is not aging well despite her three hour daily workouts. Someone needed to tell the former virgin that too much plastic surgery is not a good thing.

  60. The Redhead says

    Right off the bat, this isn’t working for me. But this is not in any way his genre.

    Man, this is really lame.

  61. The Redhead says

    The tempo of this is just terrible. Even his dramatics can’t save it from sounding lumbering.

  63. The Redhead says

    You have got to be kidding me, Randy.

    Did I miss something? I thought it sucked.

    Simon even liked it.

    Jeepers.

  75. The Redhead says

    I like this. It’s a heck of a lot better than all of the histrionics of the night.

  80. The Redhead says

    Yes, the men are superior to the women in this competition, no question about it.

  81. The Redhead says

    And that’s a bit ironic this evening since it was Diva Mariah’s night.