The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Home General Television Correction: JaSoN is GoNe!!

Correction: JaSoN is GoNe!!

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After watching tonight’s Idol, I have to revise my prediction. If Jason stays around past tomorrow night, I won’t be able to watch this shit sober anymore!

This clown put on such an amateurish act that he stunk up the place—twice! His first number, “I Shot the Sheriff,” was a tribute to his all-time hero, Bob Marley. If that song sucked, Castro’s second song, “Mr. Tambourine Man,” was even worse. He couldn’t even remember the words, humming where “jingle-jangle morning” was supposed to be.

Now, I must characterize his act as WORSE than a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night. It’s becoming like a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night so they get shitfaced drunk first and then try to sing.

Given that Jason’s ass has been carried for the past few weeks by the sub-teens who approach this like a middle school popularity contest, I cannot predict his demise with great conviction. However, if he doesn’t go, it will be a travesty beyond proportion—one that will surely rival Taylor Hicks becoming the American Idol a couple of years ago.

I don’t know what Archuleta is doing for the judges under their table, but whatever the hell it is, they can kiss my ass. He’s not that great. I couldn’t even listen to his rendition of “Love Me Tender.” He sang it with the same damn voice he sings everything else and added non-Elvisesque bombast, which would have led me to compare him to Whitney Houston if he was a broad. However, he’s a little kid, and his voting public is composed of little kids who never heard Elvis’ version of the song and don’t know how badly Archuleta destroyed it. It wouldn’t matter if they did. they’ll vote for him blindly in any case. What remains a mystery to me is why the judges are so taken with this little schmuck. He bores my ass.

Syesha was good. I thought she was a bit shrieky in her first number, “Proud Mary,” in which she used the Tina Turner arrangement and accordingly, evoked comparisons with Tina. However, her highly emotional Sam Cooke finale was heartfelt and well done. Unfortunately for Syesha, I’m from Sam Cooke’s era, so remembering how it sounded when Sam did it—it was released right after he died—caused me to feel that Syesha fell a bit short. Randy Jackson agreed with me, but Paula (of course) and Simon felt that she did exceptionally well. Well enough to save her ass this week? We’ll see.

I continue to like David Cook who had the potential benefit of being able to choose two rock songs this week. Alas, he squandered his first choice on Duran Duran. The second, a Who song, was more like it for Cook. If he had indeed picked two appropriate songs, he would have had the best night of all of them. However, I reluctantly have to rank him tied for second tonight.

Here’s how I see it:

1. David Archuleta (two solid numbers, but sung with his usual voice)

2. David Cook and Syesha Mercado (I believe they both did one song well and the other one acceptably)

7. Jason Castro (he gets a big IT SUCKS (IS) rating for screwing up two whole songs tonight!)

Seventh in a field of four? Yeah, it was that bad. Will justice prevail or will the junior high voters play their trump card? I can feel those tiny fingers texting “VOTE” right now. Syesha must stay; Jason must go—THIS WEEK!!!

Comments

  1. The Redhead says

    If we’re lucky, Jason will be jingle-jangling his way home tomorrow night!

  5. The Redhead says

    Hey Turkey! I haven’t yet read the Post but will foward it when I do.

    I read your comment on Boedeker’s blog. I agree.

    Jason should be gone tonight.

    Gone, baby, gone.

  11. The Redhead says

    Remember The King Family? This group number is like that old show!

  13. The Redhead says

    Man, Steely Dan sure reminds me of high school and those stoner daze!

  18. The Redhead says

    I dug that tune, Build Me Up Buttercup!

    Reminds me of 6th grade 🙂

  26. The Redhead says

    No, I don’t agree with you about Syesha, Turkey. She screwed up the phrasing.

  32. The Redhead says

    Ya know, Turkey, it’s just a hunch but I think David Cook will be in the bottom two tonight. Just for the drama!

  33. The Nittany Turkey says

    We’re next going to find out that David Cook is safe, leaving us to wonder about Syesha and Jason.

    BUTTTTTT….this is a dangerous week. I’ve watched this thing for six or seven years and note that frequently there is a surprise right at this point, when someone you least expect to go home gets eliminated.

    I don’t think any of the remaining three are safe.

  37. The Redhead says

    Okay, does David Cook stay or go???

    Should I stay or should I go now…..

    Stay!

  41. The Redhead says

    The biggest challenge….

    holding back when Jason gets a pass every week!

  45. The Redhead says

    I don’t like this a whole lot. That guy is singing way too high.

  48. The Redhead says

    It’s like that band, Fine Young Cannibals. Totally forgetable.

  54. The Nittany Turkey says

    Now we get to hear Bo, who I can still listen to, if he hasn’t gone too country. He was a good rocker with an edge when he was on Idol three years ago, but much has happened since.

  58. The Redhead says

    Wow—this is cool! Very 60s. I’m diggin’ it.

    Pass me the doobie, brother.

  61. The Redhead says

    Hey! I saw that story on the Sentinel’s website! I wondered if it was A.S.’s kid but thought she was going to a different beach. Wow!!! What happened?

  64. The Nittany Turkey says

    Kid was wading in a about 18″ of water. I think it was probably a baby bull shark. Read the WESH story and see the video. It’s on my Facebook profile page, too.

  70. The Redhead says

    Whoa! Did you read it on the news first or did A. Sweetened tell you?

  74. The Nittany Turkey says

    Kid is fine, but the lidocaine is wearing off and he’s hurting a bit. He’ll be fine. Did you see the interview? He wasn’t freaked at all.

  82. The Redhead says

    Or maybe “a change is gonna come” and Syesha is going home??

  90. The Redhead says

    Break out the Zig Zags, Jason’s on his way home to celebrate!

  95. The Redhead says

    Well, Turkey, it’s the top three next week! Two more weeks of this season’s AI!

  100. The Redhead says

    I’m heading out to check on A. Sweetened’s shark bitten son! Hope he will be okay!

    See you soon!

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