Private note to The Redhead: Read the comments to the next post first. Then you can come back here for more.
THAT SAID (lqtm), tonight determined the composition of the American Idol final next week. We’ll offer some stupid justifications for what we think SHOULD be the final matchup. Who the hell knows who will be the final two, given what else has happened this season.
Well, according to Sir Wannabe (Simon Cowell, that is), David Cook won the evening’s competition, with which I agree. I also agreed with Paula Abdul when she said that Syesha’s performance was not good enough to get her through to the final. But she sure as hell looks good! (Syesha, not Paula, although the latter ain’t bad for her age.) Archuleta, of course, got the unanimous endorsement of all three judges. God forbid they should ever speak blasphemies against the baby-faced presumptive American Idol. (I thought Abraham put an end to that idol worshiping crap a few thousand years ago.)
Parts of I-95 are melting in intense brush fires near Cocoa, but Syesha was hotter. Her breathtakingly steamy outfits won’t be enough to save her fine, cafe-au-lait ass. She’s been hanging by a thread for the past few weeks, but Simon was absolutely correct that she peaked last week with the Sam Cooke number. Furthermore, in a rare moment of lucidity, Paula told Syesha that her work tonight wasn’t good enough to get her into the final. So, one has to believe that she’s gone.
REDHEAD BAIT ALERT!
Sadly, Archuleta will breeze through to the next round like a prune through a blue tick coon hound, but fortunately, Cook will offer some serious competition. I demand that Cook shows up for this competition! If he mails it in, he’ll lose. I’m not prepared to accept the premature coronation of David Archuleta any more than I’m prepared to accept the premature coronation of Barack Obama, whose campaign pretty much resembles Archuleta’s (young, naive, and not ready for prime time).
On Wednesday’s results show, Fantasia will perform. I never liked her all that much. I liked runner-up Diana DeGarmo better. (She’s doing Broadway musicals now, just in case you wanted to know.)
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Thanks for the great play-by-play, Turkey! I’m rather glad I missed the Dan Fogleburg song–ick.
See you online tonight!
The Redhead has arrived.
They cranked up the volume on that opening—ouch!
Paula has fake pearls that look like testicles dangling into her cleavage.
Just what we need—disco crapola!
Are they lip-synching?
Ick…I don’t want that image of Paula in my head, Turkey.
A little justin timberlake crotch-grabbing by cook.
I think Paula’s uniform is grotesque tonight.
Syesha does disco very well.
A regular Donna Summerette, already.
So Turkey, where did you hike today?
Seminole State Forest, a favorite haunt.
I’m not going to ask if you’re excited that Math Guy and I ordered our Garmin watches since I read your post.
Is that in Oviedo?
You saw my Garmin Foreskin 375 status message? Yeah, I’m happy for you and Bob and look forward to playing with your instruments.
Seminole State Forest is in Lake County, on the other side of the Mighty Wekiva River, north of SR 46.
Aight…let’s take a look at the performances you didn’t see.
We wound up going with Amazon. I checked TigerDirect but it was a bit more than Amazon and Buy.com which were the same with free shipping.
Amazon.com usually has good deals. I just wanted to throw another hat in the ring so you’d have some basis for comparison.
Who did YOU vote for?
I can do without Fantasia.
I’m tired of the slow build-up to the power notes from David C. Change it up, dude or you’re going to become a dud.
Dude is already a dud.
A boy-dud.
Appreciate that!
I don’t mind her. Wasn’t she a runner-up on AI at one point? Now on Broadway or something?
I never could see Fantasia as an American Idol. She did one good song: Summertime.
I thought you liked David C.
No, she won the whole thing. Her runner-up, Diana DeGarmo is doing broadway now.
I think this is pretty good. She’s not afraid to put herself out there.
Why should she be afraid? She’s not competing. She’s promoting.
Did you just see Simon’s face?
Like Paula’s necklace? 😀
She’s a bit raunchy for AI in her singing style which is probably why I liked it 🙂
She used to be Fantasia Barrino when she competed on American Idol. Now, she’s just Fantasia. ANd for me, she was and is irrelevant.
I get that.
Are you a fan of Alicia Keys? I don’t get the hoopla over her. I think she’s pretty bland.
What happens if Archuleta gets the axe tonight?
I’d rather listen to Fiona Apple any day.
I doubt seriously that Archuleta is going home tonight. It’s going to be Cook or Syesha.
I agree about Alicia. She’s one of those smarmy modern-day semi-jazz singers who doesn’t get to first base with me. I can STILL listen to Billie and Ella and not feel that they’re all that retro. (Of course, *I’m* that retro!) 🙂
Amy Winehouse is in jail again. You gotta have serious hard addictions to gain my respect in jazz circles. Of course, I have no respect for Amy Winehouse.
The math is simple. 3 – 1 = 2!
OK, so the putz is obviously safe.
Well, I really like Amy Winehouse’s voice and the songs I’ve heard. Obviously, she is very, very troubled. I think she DOES have serious, hard addictions. She needs help, if she’ll accept it.
She also needs a dentist. Maybe a prison dentist is better than none at all.
Cry, little David.
Talk about bland. Snore.
There’s more to singing than being technically perfect. David is just too young to understand that.
How the hell can people see anything in that voice. Or hear anything.
Awww…you just endeared yourself (even more) to all those little girls.
Aw, shucks!
Uh, duhhhhh……………………………
Ryan Seacrest is full of s–t.
He eats it, which is why he’s full of it.
Kristy!
Question, Turkey:
I’ve been reading a lot about the new video game, Grand Theft Auto IV. It really looks like something I’d like to fool with. Bob and I were at Blockbuster and I was going to rent it but Bob pointed out that you need a “Play Station.” Oh. Do you know if any of those games come on DVD so you can just pop them into your computer?
And now, a word…
GTA4 only runs on XBOX 360 and PS3.
But if you get a PS3, then you have the added bonus of a Blu-Ray DVD player! So talk Bob into it.
I have one of the Grand Theft Auto series here, and I have a PS2 I’m not using, if you want to get a feel for GTA.
Syesha is hottttttttttttttt
You will be hypnotized by Paula’s neck pendant.
That would be great!
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
So what happens now? Don’t they have to drag this out to the very end of the show?
Syesha goes to Sun City.
These bits really try the viewer.
Yeah, they’re going to drag it out til news time.
I want to see Paula’s pendant again.
Man, take us–and these kids–out of our misery.
What’s the snack tonight, Turkey?
A roast beef sandwich and maybe a glass of Scotch in a minute or two.
I can’t figure out how to recommend movies on Netflix with all their stupid interface changes, but let me take this opportunity to recommend Atonement if you haven’t already seen it.
Watched a compelling documentary about the 1996 Everest expedition that ended in disaster.
I’m almost finished reading High Crimes about the 2004 expedition. I recommend it!
Bob and I watched Atonement a couple of weeks ago–we loved it. Five stars from us.
From me, too.
Weird. Turkey, if you look up at one of my recent comments, it says in bold (next to the heading): Your comment is awaiting moderation.
What’s up with that?
I think Robbie gave Briony the vascular dementia; he caught from some French babe.
Maybe you said a bad word. I’ll go moderate it.
Wow–what is this–Beatle Mania?
If you just click the “star” rating on NetFlix, I’ll get an idea of how you felt about the film. You should be able to do that by just clicking on the stars on the Friends page.
But if I didn’t rent it from Netflix, I’m SOL?
You know, Math Guy and I are heading for Boston Friday? Actually, we’ll be spending the majority of the time in New Hampshire).
Geez, David has a 12 year-old of his own!
Yes, I’m aware of the New England jaunt and the reason for it.
Not at all! You just search that film on the site, then click the stars to rate. It will then (in a day or so) show up on the movies you’ve watched on the Friends page.
Getting to throw out the first pitch for the Royals was cool.
Yes, it is a difficult reason. But we’re also going to spend some time with Bob’s niece, Karen, and her boyfriend who has a place in N.H. Her boyfriend wrote the screenplay for the film, Klute! Loved that movie. Bob and I watched it (again for me) tonight. I can’t wait to meet this guy and ask him all about it!
Oh, it’s the “day or so” shit that put me off.
Her boyfriend must be an old fart, if he wrote Klute. Hell, I saw that movie when I was 25 or so.
He was nominated for an Oscar? I want to ask him what the awards show is like when you are actually there, and if the awards really are legit or a bunch of bulls–t.
Award shows are all a bunch of bullshit.
Yeah, 1971. He also wrote a lot of episodes for the TV shows, The Virginian, Lancer, The FBI, and Profiles in Courage.
Here we go…after the break.
So, I figure you for Not-A-Jane-Fonda-Fan.
Of them, The FBI was the only one I watched. Never even heard of Lancer. The Virginian was with some Drury guy in the lead–was that the one with the Dynasty babe, too?
And Lee Majors?
Klute was from before Jane went Commie.
No, the Dynasty babe was in High Chaperal (I think).
Klute was just around the time she posed with the NVA.
Okay….who is going home?????
Here we go…break is over.
A humdinger.
and?
David A. Natch.
Yeah. Finally, we guessed it, Turkey.
Bye Syeshaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She must have known she was on her way out.
Kristy!!
Is Kristy in the audience?
OK, it’s on! I hope Cook brings his A game and blows the little turd right outta the water.
She’s the only one of the young women who hasn’t been breaking down in sobs during the final song.
Yes, Kristy is there. She’s one of the top eight, so she gets to stay around for the tour.
Yeah, but how likely is that?
So, you won’t be back in time for next Tuesday?
Well, Turkey. Next week is the BIG FINALE. Already!
Have a good one and see you online Tuesday.
I’ll be enjoying the nice, cool New England air as it hits 96 degrees in O-town 🙂
Yeah, make me jealous, as it were.
Yeah, we’ll be back Monday afternoon.
Well, if you’re jealous, you can always…
Take a hike!
🙂
Well, MG has colonoscopy transport duty on next Thursday, so I’ll probably see you possibly maybe.
Have a safe trip and get back in one piece.
Don’t forget to unclog your drain first!
🙂
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks, Turkey. Look forward to talking with you next week.
The Redhead.
Nighty-night!
—TNT