The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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The Voice vs. The Edge

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American Idol has boiled down to leave two men standing, and one stretches the masculinity point, as he has not yet started to shave, but with //www.groenerekenkamer.com you don’t need to worry about your body hair anymore. It will be pop versus rock, “The Voice” versus “The Edge,” David Archuleta versus David Cook. Chief Justice Simon Cowell predicts that the final competition this week will be “a humdinger.”

The majority voting demographic, aged 9-13, upon hearing the word “humdinger,” told their parents and teachers that Simon said a bad word. But I digress.

Last week, the expected finally happened. Syesha Mercado could have sung perfectly and passionately but she still would have been out. As it were, she screwed up in song choice and faltered in her performance, all duly noted by the vapid judges who seemed to want to push her out in favor of a David vs. David finish. The voters complied with the judges’ wishes.

This will be the first all-male final since Season Two’s Ruben Studdard vs. Clay Aiken showdown, if you consider Clay Aiken male. Studdard won that one, but Aiken wound up with arguably the better career to date.

Mark Perigard of The Boston Herald thinks that being runner-up would suit the little shaver Archuleta better, in that the little pipsqueak isn’t yet ready for the grueling demands of Idoldom, especially if his meddling stage father keeps his finger in the pie. Perigard astutely posits that the more mature Cook, a 25 year-old former bartender, is fully cognizant of the onerous path ahead and has already resigned himself to the Faustian bargain he will have to make as an American Idol.

Cook’s performing style better suits this Turkey’s preferences—much better. That in itself might doom him to runnerupitude. Chris Daughtry (now calling himself just Daughtry), with a similar, albeit more expansive and harder-edged rock style, was the Turkey’s favorite a few years ago for the same reason, which undoubtedly gave him the Turkey Kiss of Death, at least with respect to the Idol competition. I hope I don’t doom Cook similarly.

Archuleta, with the smarmy voice, the closed eyes, the look of a small town, junior high talent night performer trying to please his dad. That characterization is more fact than folly. Although he has been the judges’ favorite from the start, his potential is limited to being the next Perry Como.

“Whodat?” saith the teeny weenies.

Well, maybe every generation needs a Perry Como. Or a Josh Groban, maybe.

Cook and Archuleta will each sing three songs during the show: one to be selected by industry legend Clive Davis, one by viewers of the show via an online poll, and, finally, one will be chosen by the contestants, either a new song or one previously sung in the competition.

The voters, of course, get to decide who wins this thing, but Idol’s producers seem to be subtly steering things Archuleta’s way. It has been leaked out in a veiled manner by Nigel Lythgoe to Ryan Seacrest, on the latter’s morning radio show, that the guest stars on Tuesday night will be “some young brothers” and “the biggest star in the world.” On-line pundits seem to be speculating that these references are to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, respectively. If this is to be the case, it will satisfy a younger, more Archuleta sympathetic crowd.

Will this year’s idol be a true star, as former Idols Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood turned out to be? Or will he be a dud, like Taylor Hicks or last year’s winner, Jordin Sparks? No one can say. The only thing predictable is the music industry’s unpredictability.

And with that, let the overhyped battle begin.

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Comments

  1. The Redhead says

    Turkey, I’m going out on a limb and predicting that David Cook will be this year’s AI. David A. may own the bulk of the pre-teen vote but I think that Cook appeals to a wider audience. Would I put money on this? How about five dollars.

    See you this evening!

    The Redhead.

  2. The Nittany Turkey says

    If I weren’t on the same side of that bet, I’d take the action, even though the fickle and unpredictable voting public makes it a complete crap shoot.

    —TNT

  11. The Redhead says

    Yes, Simon is looking quite pleased with himself this evening.

  23. The Redhead says

    I’m glad it’s the finale. Unlike last year, I’ve got Idol Fatigue 🙂

  27. The Redhead says

    So Clive Davis is picking the first song, right? I’m not a big fan of Clive. After all, we have him to thank for Whitney Houston.

  29. The Nittany Turkey says

    Two years ago, I was interested until the end because I really liked Katharine. Three years ago, I was interested because I liked both Bo and Carrie. But the last two years, there’s been a certain ennui about the whole thing.

  34. The Redhead says

    This is a good song choice for him but I still don’t like it.

  35. The Redhead says

    Maybe it’s just because I am so sick of hearing this song. It’s became the 80s version of Stairway to Freebird.

  36. The Nittany Turkey says

    It’s a bit pitchy…and it’s something that he didn’t pick and it’s something he’s obviously not completely comfortable with to or for.

  42. The Redhead says

    You can’t give Round One to David A. if you haven’t heard him yet!

  44. The Redhead says

    Yes, this is the better song–that’s probably why I’m liking this better.

  63. The Redhead says

    Say what you will about Andrew L. Weber, but he’s had some of the best comments and insights about performance that I’ve heard all season.

  68. The Redhead says

    I’ve never heard of this song, and frankly hope I don’t have to hear it again.

  73. The Redhead says

    Huh? What did Paula mean it “wasn’t the winning song?” Did she give something away…again????

  76. The Redhead says

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but did Paula just give something away?

  78. The Redhead says

    Well Turkey, if you’re in the “zone” you should know what it meant!

  80. The Redhead says

    I thought the original version was a big disappointment. Now it will suck in 3-D.

  104. The Redhead says

    Yeah, Randy said it: Collective Soul. I’ve always liked the song.

    I suppose you and Simon are on the same page.

  106. The Redhead says

    I like this about Cook. He did this particular song because it was true for him.

  108. The Redhead says

    I can already hear David A’s version of Imagine and I ain’t diggin’ it.

  112. The Redhead says

    You can’t take the $5 bet when you’re on the same side!!!

  121. The Redhead says

    I think we both know who the judges are rooting for…except Paula since she’s got a thang for David C.

  123. The Redhead says

    RE: She will pose naked with him on their first ablum cover.

    HAHAHHAHAAAAAA 🙂

  126. The Redhead says

    Why even watch tomorrow night? It’s pretty clear David A’s got it locked up.

  138. The Redhead says

    I’ll see you tomorrow night for the big annointing of David A.

    🙁