The mighty #3 Penn State Nittany Lions (9-0, 5-0 Big Ten) travel to Iowa to meet the Iowa Hawkeyes (5-4, 2-3 Big Ten), at 3:30 on Sattiday. Dis game be a ABC/ESPN regional-ass game, which means that in some parts of dis country, da game on ABC and in other parts it be on ESPN. In Russia, it is blacked out.
It is normally difficult for college football players to maintain focus through an entire season, especially since the season is now 12 or 13 games. Add in a distracting presidential election and a week off three-fourths of the way through the season after an emotional, hard fought signature game for additional diffusion potential. Then take the team on the road to a weird place in the middle of the corn belt to play an underachieving Iowa team with a running back as good as any in the Big Ten that has been frustrated by four close losses, and you’ve sown the seeds of an upset loss, a monkey wrench in the works of a program hell bent on bringing a so-called national championship home to State College.
So, will the Nittany Lions be able to avert this potential trap? Doing so will say a helluva lot about their character. An impressive win will make us all rest at ease. They must resist the temptation to “mail it in”, as this bunch of Iowa Hawkeyes are too good to overlook in that fashion.
The Hawkeyes losses to Pitt, Northwestern, Moo U., and the Fightless Illini were by margins averaging three points per game. A break one way or the other in two of those games and we’d be looking at a 7-2 team this week.
Much of the hoopla about the Hawkeye offense involves running back Shonn [sic] Greene. Clearly, his parents did not know how to spell, so Greene grew up defending himself against insults such as, “Yo momma can’t even spell Sean!” This made the young man tough. Now, he’s in the NFL farm system, better known as college football, and he’s big, strong, tough, and agile. At 5’11” in verticality, he tips the poundage meter at 235 lbs. Imagin yo’ ass bein’ a linebacker with that load comin’ at ya full steam! Half-ass make you want to crap yo football pants. Let me get out of dialec’ for a moment here. Greene is averaging close to 140 ypg, third in the NCAA. Sheeeeeeeit!
Yeah, he’s a biggun, and he has the potential to make a defense bone weary by the middle of the third quarter. However Penn State ranks 11th in the FBS (which sounds like some kind of “feminine” product, but is what used to be Division I-A) in rushing defense, allowing 99 yards per game. The Nittany Lions have been able to shut down good tailbacks throughout this season, most notably Beanie Wells in the Ohio State game. If the lads on the defensive front seven manage to maintain their focus and Bradley can keep rotating in fresh defensive linemen, the Lions can take care of business here.
Of course, if they can shut down the run, Iowa will be forced to pass. Duh! Fortunately, man, Iowa ranks a crappy 85th nationally in passing offense while Penn State ranks 4th in the nation in pass efficiency defense. Advantage, Lions? Yeah, you bet yo’ ass.
If the Lions simply play a good four quarters and take care of business, they’ll win this one. If they play their stupid conservative road game plan and forget to compete in the first half, they’ll be sorry.
The Iowans have called for a black-out, which became a green-out. Fuck, when are these dicks going to stop copying a great Penn State idea and come up with something of their own? Maybe Guido d’Elia should get fucking royalties for all the “outs” taking place around the country by schools who don’t know what the hell they’re doing. I attended a UCF game last Sunday, where a white-out was in effect, but no one knew about it. Well, maybe 300 students were wearing white, but I digress. Anyhow, the “green-out” idea was supposed to be a tribute to Shonn [sic] Greene, but then it would be a Greene-out, and “Greene” is not a color. So WTF?
This is the first time Penn State has played in Kinnick Stadium since 2003. That game was a loss, but then it took place during what we’ve found many people referring to as the Dark Days.
The weather in Iowa City is, well, crappy. Without being too corny here, I hope the harvest is finished. The official forecast calls for “Rather cloudy and breezy with a high of 46.” This is the first time I’ve seen “rather” in a weather forecast.
Senior Übercoach Herr Joe Paterno reports that Daryll Clark will be ready to play after getting his bell rung in the Ohio State game, in which he sat out the winning drive in the fourth quarter, pissed-offedly watching Pat Devlin lead the Lions to victory evermore. Fight on on on on on, fight on Daryll Clark. (If Shonn [sic] Greene’s parents had named Clark, would he be Dare’El Clarke? Them apostrophe names is too cool, ain’t they bro? And what is that “El” stuff? Randle El, Logan El…them’s two-word last names. I wonder if mah people will start naming kids like that. You know, for example, d’Moisheshaw Horowitz El?)
Where was I? Fuck, I forget.
I guess this is a good time to corral my digressin’ ass and issue the Official Turkey Poop Prediction, that which you have no doubt been awaiting with bated anticipation, as it were. The gambling line has the visiting Nittany Lions currently favored by 8 points, with an over/under of 43. This, by some simple algebraic manipulation, suggests a score on the order of 25-17. This Turkey believes that Penn State will take care of business, primarily because he has challenged them to play a good game, and each and every one of those guys knows what will happen to them if they don’t. Penn State 31, Iowa 7.
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jd says
if this game was played last weekend, it would clearly be a trap game. however, they had the week off to get the osu victory-high out of their system. the prize is within sight. they will be ready.
you sound weird today. you drunk?
The Nittany Turkey says
Weird, yeah. Drunk, no. I’ve been in a weird mood ever since the election.
Obviously, I agree with you about the Lions’ readiness for this game. I just hope they’ve gotten over the thing where they don’t play for real in the first half.
The weather really has been crappy in the Bread Basket. I hope that, too, doesn’t mean that PSU will need a jump start.
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” I keep telling myself.
—TNT
psurule4 says
I just wanted to come take my lumps for stating Iowa wins this game one in 30 times its played…..clearly not true…..Iowa wins this game 3 out of 10……Iowa played a great game….we puckered up (especially defensively with relatively few blitzes)….offensively, the wind hurt, we refused to simply keep running the ball on the left side of the field where we were killing them…..I recognize I am not a football coach, but I do recall somewhere in the recesses of my mind a football coach once saying, if they can’t stop it, run it again. We tend not to do that.
The Nittany Turkey says
None of us lost this game, so no lumps are forthcoming.
I don’t want to hang the loss on anyone in particular—not the players, not the coaches, not the officials, not the weather, and certainly not the Sunday morning quarterbacks. Too much of that going around this morning. The score is recorded, and that’s that.
However, that doesn’t stop my mind from pondering a few things. I wonder if Clark fully recovered from his concussion. He seemed less than confident back there. Of course, until the Ohio State game, he had little experience handling pressure. It is not coincidence that he did not look sharp in either that game or this one. I wonder whether Quarless and Norwood might have been able to catch had they been wearing gloves. I wonder why Bradley thought BBDB was superior to pressure, especially in that final drive, given that Iowa is relatively one-dimensional. Stanzi was able to march the Hawkeyes right down the field. I have no answers, only questions.
This one will stick in our minds like the 1999 Minnesota game.
—TNT
psurule4 says
Agreed about Clark….strange game for him…it does make you wonder….I equate him in my mind to Donovan McNabb….he is a much better QB if he remembers he can run….at OSU and Iowa, I felt like he was avoiding running….when he can’t or won’t run, he becomes pretty average…when he runs he has been significantly better than average if not great (of course it could be pressure/concussion too).
The best part of Clark is that I don’t think he would resort to making such excuses— we can do it for him and I like that about him personally.
Overall, like you referenced, not sure we can blame anyone– Iowa played a great game– much better than I ever thought they would or could against us. I guess as I sit here today, I can say why the BBDB defense — but then I bet if we got torched on a long ball I would probably be saying — why pressure Stanzi — its just a matter of time before he makes a mistake…..
I think basically, this is one for the football gods to answer to….they did not favor us today….perhaps the reason for the loss is that we forgot to sacrifice a pig before we left for Iowa….hopefully, they will forgive us for Michigan St…..not even the gods can help the Hoosiers.
The Nittany Turkey says
I noticed Clark’s reluctance to run, too. That’s when I started wondering whether it was a subconscious reaction to the heavy hit that gave him a concussion or whether he was coached not to run against Iowa’s defense. I agree that when he doesn’t run the only thing that differentiates him from your average college quarterback is the availability of superior receivers.
Of course, when there’s a mighty big wind blowing and the superior receivers’ cold hands are making them look pretty average, then Clark wound up looking absolutely putrid.
Iowa played with great passion the whole game. It appeared to me that the Nittany Lions’ passion evaporated around halftime. Maybe it was the weather and the desire to go through the motions and get the game over with.
I don’t understand the stone-handed receivers. Perhaps Quarless did a couple of doobs behind the pink locker room to steady his hands, but then discovered that they didn’t work properly. What about Norwood? Cold hands, warm heart?
I wonder if Spider Caldwell had the option of packing up some portable space heaters. If so, I have to wonder why he didn’t.
Anyhow, what’s done is done, and it’s time to move on to the final two games.
Now, don’t go jinxing us by dissing the Hoosiers. You saw what happened when you did the 1 in 30 thing with the Hawkeyes. The Indiana game is going to be one of those let-down games that our guys don’t really want to play. I hope these guys have more character than the 1999 team; I hope this season and henceforth do not go down the toilet because of one loss.
—TNT
psurule4 says
Dear football gods:
The Hoosiers are terrible…..but I have seen a season collapse before … please do not take my statements about the terrible Hoosiers to heart…..if you can’t help the Nits please do not help the Hoosiers….
I hope that prayer undoes my jinx.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think the football gods will accept your contrition. May the jinx be lifted and peace prevail among mankind.
—TNT
Bluegrass Hawkeye says
You’ve got a damn funny and witty webisite Obviously, I’m an Iowa fan, but I also like Joe Pa, because he’s not just a dumb jock…he has a Ph.d. in English Lit, which was my major at Iowa.!
After the Hawkeyes, my favorite Big Ten team is the Lions!
The Nittany Turkey says
Joe thanks you for conferring the advanced degree upon him, but as far as I know, he only got a bachelor’s at Brown. His parents wanted him to go to law school after he graduated. That was his plan while he was playing quarterback and working on his B.A. Then he got a call from his old coach, Rip Engle, who had taken the job at PSU, asking Joe to come help him out. Joe agreed to it and never attended law school.
He does quote Shakespeare a lot, but so do the Klingons.
Thanks for stopping by, BH, and please come back next year, if not sooner.
—TNT