This just in: American Idol tonight will feature “Rat Pack Standards” — which is, this Mouse assumes, a tribute to the 50s and 60s era songs of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr. Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford were also members of the Las Vegas Rat Pack, but they didn’t sing.
Look for another Adam Lambert coup. From him, I would expect a new take on an old song, which I can envision him doing in his Wayne Newtonesque, slicked-back look.
From the rest, I would expect boredom. Danny wearing a fedora with his tie undone droning out the plaintive lament of Angel Eyes? I think not. Kris in a Dean Martin tuxedo doing Come Back to Napoli? Gimme a break! Matt donning an eye patch and singing What Kind of Fool Am I? Nahhhh! And Allison — good old Allison — what the hell can she do with an old standard? She’s more Nancy Sinatra than Frank.
This one is liable to hurt my ears and offend my aging ideals.
One thing crossed my mind. Instead of a guest mentor this week, they’ll have to bring in a ghost mentor! Joey, Sammy, Peter, Dean, and Frank are all dead. Several women were associated with the Rat Pack, including Lauren Bacall, Angie Dickinson, Judy Garland, Joey Heatherton, Shirley MacLaine, Marilyn Monroe, and Juliet Prowse. Perhaps they’ll get one of the broads who is still living, which would be any of them but Garland, Monroe, and Prowse. Otherwise, they’ll indeed have to resort to a “ghost mentor.”
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The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The Mouse has arrived!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Jamie Foxx…what a let down. Frank is definitely rolling over in his grave.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Less than two weeks after he said on his radio show that Miley Cyrus (ain’t she da one with da gums?) should make a sex tape…
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I have no idea what that dumbass has to do with The Rat Pack.
The Redhead says
Runnin’ Red is in the house.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
This gon’ be painful tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Greetings, Redster!
The Redhead says
The kiddies are stepin’ into you area tonight, Sir Mouse. I know you are a big Sinatra/Martin fan. Well, IMHO they should have gotten Harry Connick, Jr. to guest mentor. I mean, Jamie Foxx? Pul–eeze.
The Redhead says
Hello, there!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, Connick would have been an improvement on that asshole.
The Redhead says
Everything I’ve heard about Foxx is that he has a huge ego and is a bit of a jerk.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Jamie is so fulla shit, mah man…
The Redhead says
Okay, not “everything.”
Well, this is a great song. Let’s see what Kris (with a “k”) does with it.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Now we have the Michael Buble rendition.
The Redhead says
Well, I think he’s taking the right approach. He seems to get that smooth and sexy is something he does well.
The Redhead says
I like the Buble!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
The Redhead says
He might be interesting once he gains some experience and gets a bit older.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The falsetto didn’t thrill me, either.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yo, Kris…so yo!
The Redhead says
This was for the gals, Sir Mouse!
The Redhead says
I bet you like that dress, right?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Bring us back to Earth, Simon….please.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Roll your eyes, Simon.
The Redhead says
Kyra’s dress, not that horrid red bow Paula is wearing…or is wearing her.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Right you are, Simon. Always grounding us in reality.
The Redhead says
Wet behind the ears?
Well, Kris with a “k” is def a hit with the gals.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kara’s dress is OK, but I sure like what’s in it.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I need another Heineken.
The Redhead says
Must go to the fridge for food. I will return shortly.
The Redhead says
I think Allison looks very pretty tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
This is Minnie Mouse meets Streisand meets Minnie.
The Redhead says
Well, she didn’t take Foxx’s advice which is too bad. She’s singing in a smokey, sultry manner. I don’t like it because it’s just too damn obvious and uninteresting.
Next, please.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
All in all, not bad. Just nothing I’d pay to see.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Randy’s clearly been bribed to inspire interest in the remaining non-competitors.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kara’s on the payroll, too.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Paula has no clue where she is. Simon will call this a kitten trying to be a tiger.
The Redhead says
There was nothing “innocent” about her approach to the song.
The Redhead says
I don’t agree that she’s “in trouble” tonight. Sorry Simon. You’re off on that opinion.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The only question is whether Matt will wear his hat.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I agree with Simon. She didn’t do enough to differentiate her from the other also-rans.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Matt won’t, either. He doesn’t have enough tricks in his bag. I don’t see how he can score a knockout with My Funny Valentine.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Matt’s wearing his lucky Sinatra hat.
The Redhead says
Hmmm, Randy and Kara on the “payroll.” Do I sniff a conspiracy theory, Sir Mouse?
The Redhead says
I like the song choices tonight but the singers aren’t up to them.
The Redhead says
He’s got the look down.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
No conspiracy. Just business. They all work for the production company. Simon, however, won’t sell out. Paula is too spaced out to be attuned to the agenda.
The Redhead says
I’m looking forward to Adam’s performance. Curious to see what he’s going to do.
Bring out Michelle Pfeiffer! I liked her version of this song.
Yikes. Matt goes home this week.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Well, Jamie obviously influenced him. He has changed the key — several times in the last phrase!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yuchhhhhh
The Redhead says
Well, Matt did take a risk.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Paula loves everything.
The Redhead says
Wow–Paula never met a makeup case she didn’t like.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Simon wants a date with Matt.
The Redhead says
Wow–Simon surprises me on this.
The Redhead says
Do you agree with Simon, Sir Mouse?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Think it’s an accident that Lambert has gone last more often than not?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
No, Simon is delusional.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It’s sweeps week, you know.
The Redhead says
Of course it’s all planned that Adam goes last! The producers know who the audience is really waiting to see.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Someone oughtta punch Jamie.
The Redhead says
I don’t know about this.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Too bad he’s ugly as sin and he has those machinist’s safety glasses, because he can sing.
The Redhead says
This isn’t good.
The Redhead says
Of course Jamie would work in a Ray Charles tune.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’s done the best job of anyone so far, IMHO.
The Redhead says
Well, it is different from the other performances tonight.
The Redhead says
Yeah, he really gave it his all at the end there.
The Redhead says
Yeah, he did take more of a risk than the others and the style seemed to fit him more.
The Redhead says
Wow, Keera is on top of the world about Danny!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, best so far. It was the only one that I liked so far.
The Redhead says
Well, I must admit that at first, I didn’t like it, but as Danny sang, he really owned the song.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Now, all that is left is to see how prettyboy will do.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The wailing is getting a little old. I hope to hell he curtails that shit, just for variety.
The Redhead says
Look at that white suit!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’s spitting on the microphone.
The Redhead says
I’m not familiar with this song.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
OK, so he keeps his streak alive, turning Porgy and Bess into a rock opera.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I think this is Queen meets Gershwin.
The Redhead says
Whoops, there’s the wail!
The Redhead says
HAHAHA! Good one, Mouse!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Much more professionally done than anyone else’s. This guy can’t lose.
The Redhead says
Man, the expressions on the faces of the judges–hahaha!
The Redhead says
Hahaha! Pretty funny, Paula.
I agree with Simon.
The Redhead says
Well, to a point.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I’m saying Matt or Allison is on the bubble this week
The Redhead says
Adam has a lot of confidence–that belief in himself is really what allows him to take the risks he does (that and the fact that he’s damn talented).
The Redhead says
I vote for Matt.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I figured you would.
The Redhead says
Yeah, I’m seeing that Simon might be right about Allison.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Adam should have been a girl.
The Redhead says
Well, Sir Mouse, tomorrow evening we find out if it’s Allison or Matt!
Until then 🙂
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Until tomorrow night, I remain,
The Mouse That Roared
The Redhead says
Nah, Adam wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining if he was “a girl.”
The Redhead says
Goodnight!
The Redhead says
I’ll be a little late to this evening’s elimination round but I’ll be here!
See you then.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Mouse in da house.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
47 million votes on this drivel.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Group number and Ford commercial have been aired. They sucked.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
There’s some sort of stupid food fight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Jennifer is here with me. She says “hi.”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Matt…you sang “My Funny Valentine”….
After the nationwide vote, Matt, would you please stand on the right side of the stage.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Danny…the judges thought you did not suck. How do you feel?
Danny…bla bla bla.
Danny…please head up to the left side of the stage.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Allison…Simon thought it was mechanical and gave it a 7 out of 10. Simon also said that he thought you’d be in big trouble tonight.
Allison…step up there next to Danny.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kris…Simon called it safe and “wet”.
Kris…stand next to Matt.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
That leaves us with Adam. All four judges praised the performance.
Jenny says he’s GROSS, like he could be a woman sometimes.
Adam stands with Allison and Danny.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
They’re not the bottom three. Allison and Danny are safe.
Bottom three are Matt, Kris, and ADAM.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Natalie Cole performs. She looks and sounds great. Well, she looks great, anyway. Most of this song is tacit, so she ain’t gotta hold notes.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Now she’s gettin into it!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Allison and Danny sittin’ comfortably on those stools, because THEY ARE SAFE!!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Taylor Hicks returns to Idol next! (The worst idol ever.)
The Redhead says
Red in the house!
The Redhead says
What have I missed? Let me look at Sir Mouse’s comments.
The Redhead says
Adam is in the Bottom Three? WTF?????
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Let me throw up right now.
The Redhead says
Hey, Sir Mouse! Hi Jenny!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
OMG ! OMG ! ADAM in da bottom three!!! WTF????
The Redhead says
Man, this guy looks icky.
The Redhead says
Was he a country guy to begin with?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
He’s from Birmingham and was always country/rock.
The Redhead says
Well, he would have to be with that last name–Hicks–hahahaha.
The Redhead says
Yee-haw!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Oy
The Redhead says
He’s got a kind of Elvis Presley drawl.
The Redhead says
Oooooooo, Simon was giving him the evil eye.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Adam in da bottom TWO…. WTF??!??!
The Redhead says
Adam is safe. Oh please. Adam is not going home tonight. This is ridic.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
We gotta deal with Jamie Foxx.
The Redhead says
That’s all right, Sir Mouse, I know when I’m being mocked 🙂
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Butbutbut Jenny says he is gross and could be a woman.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Man, that was a particularly ripe fart I just blew off.
The Redhead says
Hey, Sir Mouse–I’ve been checking out a cool website:
http://www.ratemds.com/social/
Look up all of your docs past and present and have a few laughs.
The Redhead says
I wouldn’t have thought Danny would be in the Bottom Three either.
The Redhead says
Sir Mouse–my above comment is “awaiting moderation.”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It apparently survived the moderation.
The Redhead says
I have a feeling that you and Jenny are diggin’ this.
The Redhead says
No, really, one of my comments above–the one with the link–is “awaiting moderation.”
The Nittany Turkey says
You know we can’t handle this shit.
The Redhead says
Nice leather jacket, though.
The Nittany Turkey says
I became the Turkey to moderate it. Jenny is reading the news, not really caring about Idol.
The Redhead says
Thanks, Turkey!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
This could be it. Matt or Adam?
The Redhead says
I don’t get this voting at all.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Dim the lights…
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Adam…you are safe. Matt…end of the road.
The Redhead says
Adam is safe.
DUHHHHHHH.
Matt was on the show for too long IMHO.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
An extra couple of weeks, anyway.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
In view of Adam’s near-miss, are the judges now regretting having blown their “save” on Matt?
The Redhead says
It will be quite the upset if Adam is voted off.
The Redhead says
Notice how the singers generally do better when singing their “swan songs.”
The Redhead says
G’Night, Sir Mouse!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
With no pressure on them, that is understandable. The anal sphincter isn’t straining to stay shut, thus constricting the throat, too.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Buenas noches.