This just in: American Idol tonight will feature “Rat Pack Standards” — which is, this Mouse assumes, a tribute to the 50s and 60s era songs of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis, Jr.  Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford were also members of the Las Vegas Rat Pack, but they didn’t sing.

Look for another Adam Lambert coup. From him, I would expect a new take on an old song, which I can envision him doing in his Wayne Newtonesque, slicked-back look.

From the rest, I would expect boredom. Danny wearing a fedora with his tie undone droning out the plaintive lament of Angel Eyes? I think not. Kris in a Dean Martin tuxedo doing Come Back to Napoli? Gimme a break! Matt donning an eye patch and singing What Kind of Fool Am I? Nahhhh! And Allison — good old Allison — what the hell can she do with an old standard? She’s more Nancy Sinatra than Frank.

This one is liable to hurt my ears and offend my aging ideals.

One thing crossed my mind. Instead of a guest mentor this week, they’ll have to bring in a ghost mentor! Joey, Sammy, Peter, Dean, and Frank are all dead. Several women were associated with the Rat Pack, including Lauren Bacall, Angie Dickinson, Judy Garland, Joey Heatherton, Shirley MacLaine, Marilyn Monroe, and Juliet Prowse. Perhaps they’ll get one of the broads who is still living, which would be any of them but Garland, Monroe, and Prowse. Otherwise, they’ll indeed have to resort to a “ghost mentor.”