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Home 2009 Archives for April 2009

Archives for April 2009

Minus Two!

Posted on April 27, 2009 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

No great loss on American Idol last week, as the ship’s cargo was lightened by two lightweight sailors who were just along for the ride. Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai bit the dust at the behest of the admiralty — better known as the collection of 14 year-olds who dominate the “voting public.” So, America voted and we lost some dead wood. Whoop-de-doo!

Any fool knows at this point that whoever goes up against Adam Lambert is going to lose, but the remaining four wannabes will hang in there as long as they can. With five left, we can take comfort in knowing that there are only four more weeks of this crap! How we will maintain interest is up to us as individuals. This Mouse, like a lot of humans, hangs in from week to week tolerating bad acts while waiting for Lambert to favor him with his latest surprise.

However, with the Stanley Cup Playoffs in progress and the Mouse’s favorite Penguins still in it, potential interference is afoot. When this occurs, we leave you in the astute hands of The Runnin’ Redhead for your play-by-play commentary. This week, the Antarctic birds are awaiting determination of their second-round opponent, so the Mouse is liable to be free.

I didn’t hear what the theme would be this week. Perhaps they’ll do the music of The Trashmen. All contestants will be required to do their own take on Surfin’ Bird as well as one other of The Trashmen’s obscure non-hits.

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Filed Under: Television Tagged With: Adam Lambert, American Idol, Pittsburgh Penguins, Surfin' Bird, The Trashmen

Adam Will Be Disco Queen This Week

Posted on April 21, 2009 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

The trail to the Adam Lambert coronation as our next American Idol wends a winding path through musical mediocrity, as the six remaining overmatched challengers repeatedly miss the mark. The show’s new producers (since the product was sold by Nigel Lithgoe after last season) have found it necessary to resort to multiple gimmicks and vacuous cheerleading by the so-called judges in order to maintain some level of interest by the viewing public.

The vaunted “judges’ save” was finally employed last week to save Matt Giraud, who by Simon Cowell’s own admission has no chance to win the competition. As the judges’ save required unanimous agreement, why the hell did Cowell not just assert his negativity by letting Giraud go home? Either the judges wanted to play with their new toy or the producers declared that they would use it last week, lest it not be used.

The upshot is that we get to see Matt for one more week as he and the other chaff desperately chase the front running wheat.

This week, two contestants will be eliminated. That’ll fix them! Now that the judges’ save has been used, there can be no more such manipulation. It is all up to the public vote at this point.

The theme for the week is disco. Why reprise this crappy, dead genre? Who the hell wants to hear all those Korg synthesizers emulating violins again? I sure as hell don’t. As a matter of fact, I won’t. There’s a more important and much more entertaining Stanley Cup hockey game to watch, and I’m damn well going to watch it. I’ll catch up with Idol during the intermissions. Not that anything I’ll see matters. Adam is basically uncontested and it’s a major bore watching all the pretenders screw up their attempts at competition.

May 20 cannot come too soon. No matter who Lambert’s last remaining opponent might be, I feel sorry for him or her. No one in this crew can match Adam’s seasoning, showmanship, flamboyance, and fruitiness (which for some unexplained reason is presently in vogue). Accordingly, I have to ask: How many viewers are tuning in each week to watch Adam Lambert and only Adam Lambert?

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Filed Under: Television

Adam and the Pretenders

Posted on April 15, 2009 Written by The Mouse Who Ate Xanax

Last night, everyone including Adam failed to entertain this Mouse. Sometimes you’ll get down weeks and this was one of them. It was weird from the start, with contestants singing songs from the movies, while being mentored by a weird movie mogul in the personage of Quentin Tarantino.

So, the upshot of all that is we have to wade through an hour of bullshit, songs by Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson, and a lot of pseudo-suspense to find out tonight whether Lil or Matt sucked worse. They were the baddest of the bad last night.

I have a question: Why do I want to divert my attention from the Stanley Cup Playoffs for this God-forsaken trash? The Pens are leading two-zip in the second in Game One of their first round series, if you care.

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Filed Under: Television Tagged With: American Idol sucks, Paula Abdul definitely sucks the big one, Ryan Seacrest sucks, Simon Cowell sucks

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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