Teaching them how to soap up

Jerry Sandusky’s new attorney, Karl Rominger, who has joined Joe Amendola’s defense team, said that it was entirely possible that the shower molestations could have been innocent instances of teaching life skills such as soaping themselves up in the shower to neglected young lads.

Oh, yeah, Karl? And how would you explain blowing on boys’ stomachs? Teaching them how to handle a stiff breeze that smells like Hi-Way Pizza?

More likely, he was teaching them to be submissive as he prepared to defile them.

Rominger also said that it’s not fair that Sandusky can’t articulate his innocence very effectively to the jury — because he ain’t very articulate. After all, he’s just a Western Pennsylvania guy (from Little Washington) with a Penn State education and an emeritus faculty appointment who played football and coached at Penn State. Cry me a river, Karl. Next think you’ll hear from this clown is that Sandusky has had Down Syndrome all along.

Perhaps Amendola should have sent Jerry to Casey Anthony’s Academy of Potent Prevarication here in Florida, where he could have trained under the astute tutelage of the Duchess of Deceit herself. Aw, hell, it wouldn’t have worked — even with the hot little liar there as his constant companion, he’d be ignoring her lascivious pulchritude while nagging her constantly to show him that beach he heard Connie Francis sing about many years ago: Where the Boys Are.

Be that as it may, Jerry took another beating from prosecution witnesses today. Victim 6, a 25 year-old Bible college grad, testified that Sandusky had put his hand on his knee shortly after meeting him, then took him for a workout where they wrestled before Sandusky declared that it was shower time. This Turkey will eschew presenting the shower scene in graphic detail, but suffice to say that the encounter was similar to those described by others.

Others except Rominger, of course. In his mind, Sandusky was merely showing Victim 6 how to soap up.

Victim 6 was the lad whose mother called the cops after he described the shower scene. When the police forced a confrontation between Sandusky and the mother, he famously told her, “I wish I could ask you for forgiveness. I know I won’t get it from you. I wish I were dead.” (Knowledge of the subjunctive mood doesn’t imply articulateness, I suppose.) That was in 1998, while Sandusky was still on the football staff and University faculty.

At the time, Officer Ron Schreffler of the PSU Police said he expected that Sandusky would face criminal charges, which never happened. The DA back then, Ray Gricar, chose not to approve the charges being filed. In 2005, Gricar disappeared without a trace and hasn’t been seen since. He was declared legally dead last year. Unless there is a Second Coming of the Ray, no one will ever know why he suppressed the charges.

The prosecution seems to have established a pretty clear case against Sandusky, at least to this Turkey. The defense will need to have all its ducks in a row to convince a jury that he’s not guilty. However, nothing would surprise your wizened fowl friend, having been through both the Casey Anthony and O.J. Simpson trials. Juries are notoriously fickle, and frequently nothing short of incompetent and biased. Remember that the burden of proof is completely on the prosecution, and that proof must convince the jury unanimously and beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty. All the defense has to do is find a small crack in the prosecution’s case and then drive a wedge into it.

So, how do you think this trial will end? Guilty? Not guilty? Hung jury?

You can find lots more information, including an outline of physical evidence at PennLive.com.