Now we know why Sam Ficken has been off-target this season, and perhaps why he pulled up lame with a quadriceps injury.
Head Coach Bill O’Brien has been kicking him.
Damn! I knew there was something about O’Brien—you know, like the way he always used to yell at Tom Brady. But I figured it was just verbal abuse, not physical. My, my!
Obrien let it slip out in response to a question about Ficken’s quadriceps injury: “We’ve been monitoring that and not kicking him as much in practice.”
Wow! I’m glad they’re letting up on Ficken. If they kick him much more in practice, he won’t have any legs left at all. Unless, of course, they kick him in the ass.
Holy crap! Wonder what the NCAA will do now. Player abuse is certainly worthy of the death penalty. O’Brien can join Bobby Knight and Woody Hayes in the NCAA Hall of Shame while Mark Emmert vacates his five victories and exacts a $27 million fine on Penn States, which Rod Erickson will gladly accept, as well as establishing a fund for victims of kicker abuse everywhere. Former PSU field hockey and lacrosse star Karen Peetz, as always keeping a laser focus on the future of the university, the Commonwealth, and a potential run for governor if she can get a leave of absence from BNY Mellon, has taken a vote of the board of trustees, who have authorized Erickson to grovel at Mark Emmert’s feet to atone for the egregious offense committed by yet another self-serving and power-hungry football coach.
Wait—
Ohhhhhh, he meant that he wasn’t making Ficken practice as much! Aha!
Never mind.
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Artificially Sweerened says
Next, we’ll learn that he’s been throwing McGloin.
lawrence hamilton says
I underdstand that K Peetz and her emboldened BOT has mandated a kicker abuse forum be run at U Park for all admin staff at all Commonwealth campuses and has authorized the University to spend up to $250,000 on this event and another $100,000 to be used to buy chartreuse rubber wrist bands engraved with “stop kicker abuse now” to heighten awareness and get the message out….I’m guessing my son’e tuition bill coming in early December will double. Thank God it’s the last one I need to pay.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, they’ve asked for an increased contribution from the Commonwealth coffers. Guess how likely it is that will happen?
They can’t use chartreuse for the rubber wrist bands. The other day I was at Gander Mountain, where I picked up my official chartreuse “Git-R-Done Foundation” rubber wrist band by Larry the Cable Guy, who is fighting hip dysplasia and funding Madonna’s Rehab Hospital in Lincoln, NE. Better go with brown. I don’t think anyone is using brown yet.
—TNT