The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Archives for 2012

Will Penn State be ranked?

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It’s Sunday morning after an impressive victory over Iowa. As we await this week’s AP and USA Today polls, I ask the burning question: Why the hell shouldn’t Penn State be ranked in the top 25? ?????? ?????? I think they deserve it.

Iowa State, Michigan, Texas, and Stanford were all in there last week with 4-2 records. With a 5-2 record Penn State should be right around 25. betway

They received one AP vote last week. This week, they should get more. ?????? ????? ???

I’ll assume that the BCS will not come into play due to the Penn State’s post season ineligibility, but does the non-football scandal at Penn State hurt its chances to be ranked by the independent polls, or do you think the Cinderella factor might actually work in favor of the Nittany Lions?

In any event, we’ll know soon.

Hushhhh, You Spymakers!

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Not ever knowing what to expect when the Nittany Lions (5-2, 3-0 Big Ten) play the Iowa Hawkeyes (4-3, 2-1) is a good thing. It always seemed that no matter how good Penn State thought they were, Kirk Ferentz and his Hawkeyes had just enough talent and polish to humble them. Home turf made nary a difference.

“Basically, at least the first portion of the game, [Penn State] played flawless. They outplayed us in every facet.” —Iowa Head Coach Kirk Ferentz

It sure didn’t matter this time, as the highly partisan striped-out home crowd of 70,585 at Kinnick Stadium were anesthetized into a stunned silence through which occasional boos could be heard for much of the game. A fourteen point Penn State first quarter was the knockout punch that put Iowa out for good, as the Nittany Lions rolled to a 38-14 victory, their fifth straight since starting the season 0-2. If Penn State hadn’t gotten sloppy in the fourth quarter, it would have — should have — been a shutout.

But the Iowa crowd was silenced early — that’s for sure — and there went the home field advantage. To add injury to insult, after an 11-yard touchdown run, Bill Belton was penalized fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike conduct for gazing at the assembled multitude with a finger to his lips in a “hush” gesture, which was mere redundant affirmation by that time. With six minutes left in the second quarter, that Belton touchdown gave State a 24-0 lead. Around The Cave, there were shrieks of righteous incredulity about the penalty. Can performing a quintessential librarian act really be considered taunting a crowd? Jeez!

Before we gloat about the offensive performance, let’s give some props to the defense, which allowed only 209 yards, 20 of them on the ground. Stifling! This portends well for the next stop on the Penn State We Still Are tour, the big bad Buckeyes, who along with PSU are co-leaders in the B1G division of the same name. Talk about finding excitement in a season in which State is enjoined from post-season play!

Iowa’s only offense arrived a bit late, after the game had already been decided. Each of Iowa’s two fourth quarter touchdowns, their only scoring, can be traced to a screw-up on the Penn State end. Immediately after the Nittany Lions had increased their lead to 38-0 with 45 seconds having elapsed in the fourth quarter,  junior wide receiver Jordan Cotton grabbed the kickoff at the eight yard line and proceeded to run virtually untouched for 92 yards for the Hawkeyes’ first TD. The second occurred after a Penn State turnover. The fourth quarter was nothing to be proud of for O’Brien’s Boys. The Hawkeyes won it 14-7.

Offensively, the boys were deadly. The offensive line is really looking good now. McGloin, who continues to look rock solid, albeit with the occasional misfire, was 26-38 for 289 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. He spread out those completions among nine receivers, effectively involving tight ends, wide receivers, and backs in the inexorable march forward. Bill Belton was the leading rusher with 103 yards and three touchdowns.

Penn State doubled Iowa on first downs 28-14 and dominated throughout.

Late game sloppiness needs to be eradicated if this team is to successfully navigate the rest of the season.

Ah, but there’s the elephant in the room taking a dump on my nice, new rug once again: special teams. Can they do anything right? Ever? Just when it appeared that Sam Ficken might actually do his share positively, the rest of the special units are disgusting. Giving up a 92-yard kickoff return is something that will occasionally happen to even the best of football teams. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it. Furthermore, and even worse than getting burned occasionally by a long kickoff return, the punting game flat-out sucks!  Alex Butterworth averaged 29.3 yards in this game to drop his season average to 36.5. His performance included a very ugly 24-yard wounded duck that quacked while flapping its way to oblivion.

Believe it or not, Iowa might have been the best defense Penn State has faced to date. For a change, PSU was not quite as fairy tale good with third- and fourth-down conversions, going 8-17 and 1-3, respectively.

So, will some intensive work on the special teams at practice yield a quantum improvement in the suckiest aspect of the Penn State football experience? Just wondering. It can’t get much worse!

I’m actually optimistic leading up to the showdown with Ohio State. The Penn State defensive front seven are looking razor-sharp and we know that Ohio State can be scored upon!

For the hometown perspective on the Iowa loss, see “Hawkeyes booed off field in loss” or “Peterson: Fans boo Hawkeyes before halftime“.

This team just keeps on getting better.

“These teams just don’t like each other!”

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John Madden is widely attributed with the dubious invention of the Hackneyed Sports Cliché of the Century, if there ever was one: “These teams just don’t like each other!”

Doesn’t it seem like we hear that abominable utterance at least once each game, and maybe a few more times during pre- and post-game interviews and commentary? We are lashed by it via the printed word, too. Sports journalists, have you no shame?

Are there ever any two teams, particularly engaged in mortal combat in a contact sport, who do like each other?

Even Artificially Sweetened, Jr.’s power-puff team doesn’t much like its opponent. Those junior high school girls can get into some vicious, hair-pulling fights. They just don’t like each other.

What would happen if two teams got together before their game at the 50 yard-line, sang Kumbayah, and prayed for peace, love, and understanding to Touchdown Jesus, led by Tim Tebow, setting the tone for a testosteroneless game absent pushing, nut grabbing, and trash talking? Who would watch?

“Not I!” said the blind man.

Here’s a quote from this morning’s Bleacher Report preview of tonight’s Penn State vs. Iowa game:

These teams don’t like each other and always have fun trying to knock the other out. It’s going to be a scrum for the entire 60 minutes.

This actually combines two  obnoxious clichés: the no-likey and the scrum. If I wanted to watch rugby, I’d watch rugby. Frankly, most of those who write or talk about scrums haven’t seen a single rugby scrum. That doesn’t get it. If you’re going make an analogy, at least know what you’re talking about. Where the hell has originality in writing gone?

From the Detroit Free Press a couple of days ago, as a writer speculated about the forthcoming NFL tilt, the following:

The teams, the players and the cities just don’t like each other. So it was only fitting that the Lions’ last meeting with the Bears resulted in a fourth-quarter brawl and $62,500 in fines. Chicago cornerback D.J. Moore started the skirmish when he retaliated against quarterback Matthew Stafford after Stafford threw him to the ground.

Now, that’s upping the ante! Not only don’t the teams like each other, but the cities don’t much like each other, either. As I recall, there was even a threatened criminal prosecution against Moore. This might be an indication that these two teams don’t like each other. Bears and Lions seldom meet in the wild in the animal kingdom, but they sure as hell don’t like each other when they do.

Of course these two teams don’t like each other! They’re from the original “black and blue” division. They’re not supposed to like each other! They’re supposed to be out there fighting like cats and dogs. Or lions and bears. Whatever.

Back to the Bleacher Report, I spotted this gem in a preview for the forthcoming Jets-Patriots game:

It’s become a cliche to say “These two teams don’t like each other,” but these two teams just don’t like each other.

Oy, vay! So, now the writer admits the use of the hackneyed phrase is bad, but it just happens to fit the reporter’s view of the situation, so he’ll use it anyway. How’s that for a journalistic IN-YO-FACE?

One last example doesn’t even involve football. It emanates from the wonderful world of presidential politics, from a Forbes article about a recent debate between President Obama and his challenger, Mitt Romney:

Let me begin by stating what has become obvious: these two guys do not like each other at all.

Great way to start an article you want someone to actually read, by stating the obvious using a trite cliché to boot.

How about shit-canning this stale-assed cliché once and for all? Aside from its redundancy, it has no meaning and doesn’t even bring to mind anything worth bringing to mind. It gets the Official Nittany Turkey “IS” rating.

As many of you long-time readers know, IS stands for It Sucks.

Hey, Purdue actually just came back to recapture the lead from Ohio State. I better get back to watching a couple of teams that don’t like each other, so I can get to the forthcoming 3:30 games involving teams that don’t like each other.