Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
On a recent visit to her native Chicago, Artificially Sweetened grabbed a photo of Paterno’s Liquor Center. Conveniently located near Big Ten Headquarters, the Paterno family discount afforded Joe the opportunity to cheaply bolster himself with the Old Granddad anesthetic necessary for enduring extremely frustrating meetings with Jim Delany (see Skeleton in Delany’s Closet).
Because I spend so much time in there, I needed something that would ensure my comfort and put me in an appropriate mood to write the crap I spew here.
Introducing the Official Nittany Turkey Signature Model commode. (I like all the “sanitized” terms we have for a damn toilet: commode, water closet (W.C.), loo, little girls’ room, john, jane, head, goin’ to see a man about a horse, lavatory, wash room, etc., etc.) To me, though, it’s always a crapper.
I must now repair to the crappatorium for some solace. Due to recent trip to the Holy Land, I’m seriously delinquent in publishing my PSU ruminations. I’ve got a pile of stuff backed up (take that any way you want), so I don’t know whether I’ll get caught up today or not. Don’t flush the Turkey just yet!
Big thanks to Artificially Sweetened for thinking of her man in this context!
“The NCAA Executive Committee is as worthless as the PSU BOT.” —Katie Bartoo
NCAA Executive Committee chair and Moo U. president Lou Anna K. Simon, issued a nebulous statement entitled “NCAA Executive Committee Maps Regulatory Pathway; Endorses Mark Emmert” in which she used much flowery language to extol the virtues of Mark Emmert, to wit:
“The NCAA Executive Committee continues to support the association’s broad-based reform agenda. This reform agenda must include meaningful change in the regulatory process beyond the changes in enforcement that have already been enacted.
We, as the Executive Committee, on Friday affirmed our expectation that the association move forward with the next phase of its regulatory review. A thorough examination and subsequent improvement of processes, policies, procedures and investigative tools is necessary. Developing a mechanism for monitoring adherence with policies, while also reviewing the interaction between the legal and regulatory staffs, is key to moving forward. In short, we demand the highest level of integrity and accountability not only from our peers but also from the national office. While progress has been made, additional important work remains.
Mark Emmert was hired to lead a major transformation of the NCAA. Much has been accomplished without fanfare, such as academic reforms, enhanced fiscal accountability and organizational transparency. The Executive Committee and President Emmert recognize there is much yet to do and that the road to transformational change is often bumpy and occasionally controversial. Therefore, on Friday the Executive Committee unanimously affirmed its confidence in Mark’s leadership as president and its support for his ongoing efforts to implement these essential and historic reforms.”
Hmmmm, “transformational change.” Is that the analogue of static sameness? As yesterday’s article confirms, the NCAA has always been a bastion of bullshit, and this memo is typical of the obfuscation inherent thereto.
Yet another babe has Emmert’s six. However, there is one who definitely never has and never will.
Our local PSU alumni association chapter president succinctly stated, “The NCAA Executive Committee is as worthless as the PSU BOT.” I couldn’t agree more.
