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Home Sports Penn State Football Quelle Surprise!

Quelle Surprise!

Posted on October 16, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Michigan 41, Penn State 17

James Franklin had two weeks to prepare for what he knew would be a tough one, but in the end, he lived up to his abysmal road record in big games and his crappy performance following bye weeks. The game was in no way as close as is suggested by the lopsided score dutifully, albeit heartbreakingly, reported above.

Told You So

I won’t bore you with the embarrassing stats, which have already been rubbed in painfully many times over. I’ll just say I told you so. Between K. John and me, we both told you so. He got the 41; I got the 17. Two teams claimed to be Top Ten teams going into this game. Michigan might be a top ten team, but Penn State sure as hell isn’t. Never were. Shows you what early season polls are worth: bupkis!

Why was it such a big surprise that Penn State running backs couldn’t get out of the backfield? Every half-assed fan expected to see Michigan stacking the box and quenching the run. What had been easy yards against the likes of Ohio U would evaporate in a miasma of frustration on the field in da Big House on Saturday. Adding insult to injury, or worse, adding insult to insult, the vaunted Penn State defense gave up well over 500 yards, succumbing to the relentless pounding by the Wolverine offensive line and two talented running backs. Donovan Edwards had sixteen carries for 173 yards and two touchdowns; Blake Corum had 28 carries for 166 yards and two touchdowns.

Lucky Points

The Nittany Lions got lucky in the first half, improbably scoring two touchdowns while being thoroughly dominated, getting their asses kicked up and down the field on both sides of the ball. The first trip to paydirt resulted from a superb 62-yard run by our leading rusher, Sean Clifford on a well-executed play fake. Yea, verily, the Master of Explosive Plays, James G. Franklin, was in his glory for a picosecond. The second touchdown was on a flukey pick-six, where the tipped ball bounced in the air in slow-motion long enough for Curtis Jacobs to grab it and run 47 yards to da house to take an improbable 14-13 lead in front of a stunned 110,000 maized-out UM fans. At that point, late in the second quarter, the Nittany Lions had more touchdowns than first downs.

The Wolverines added a field goal just before the halftime gun just so’s they’d have a 16-14 lead going into the locker room. It would be all Michigan after that.

UnPennStatesmanlike Conduct

Speaking of the tunnel to the locker room, what the hell is this bullshit about the lack of decorum while Penn State players were running off the field alongside their Michigan counterparts? Reports I read say the argument had started because of some social media trash-talking by Penn State players. Why the hell was this Miami Hurricanes style behavior tolerated by the coaching staff? WE ARE Penn State, remember? Trash talking ain’t our thing. We keep our mouths shut and prove ourselves on the field.

Unless we can’t. This bush league behavior is the stuff of pretenders. It’s put up or shut up, and Penn State didn’t put up so STFU!

The pre-halftime bullshit no doubt impelled Michigan to want to kick some serious ass in the second half. They did, and the bedraggled Nittany Lions did not have the wherewithal to respond with anything more than one feeble, early third period field goal. Then, nothing…

Whither Goeth the Season?

Am I being too harsh? Am I writing off the entire season after one ignominious defeat? Am I being premature? Remember St. Joe’s conciliatory words: “You’re never as good as you think you are when you win, and you’re never as bad as you think you are when you lose.” This one stings, but what stings worse is an in-yo-face attitude when it turns out to be all show and no blow.

In the wake of the sloppy Northwestern game, lifelong friend Toejam opined that PSU would lose the rest of its 2022 games. I consoled him with the aforementioned Paterno maxim. However, now, after two horrible games sandwiching a bye week, I’m more likely than not to agree with his frustrated assessment. This time, when he opined that the remainder of the season would be a repeat of last year, I meekly retorted, “We might be able to beat Rutgers.”

IITOP? Not So Much

And Matt Herb, this is for YOU: Time of Possession is not increasingly irrelevant when it signifies that your offense cannot give the defense a blow. The PSU defense was on the field for almost forty-two minutes. If they were hoping for explosive plays to save they ass, they got one — just one — Clifford’s 62-yard run. Take that out of the rushing total and you have a measly 49 yards on 21 attempts: 2.3 yards per carry. But I digress. The Nittany Lions’ defense was on the field way too much and they were pounded into submission by the Wolverines.

So, I’m disgusted. It is not bad enough that they got blown out, but they had to do that trash-talking thing when they had no chance of putting their money where their mouth was. Pretenders and their bravado! BullSHIT! Whoda thought it would come to that at Penn State.

The pretenders will drop significantly in this weeks polls, but probably not as much as they should. Contrary to what the perennially whining, platitude-spouting Sanguinarians think, PSU usually gets more respect from the media than it deserves, not less. Just how in the hell could the team that was on the field for the past two games ever garner a #10 ranking unless that were so!


I’ll be back midweek for a look at what Big Al called the auric rodents. I kinda like that. Cleverly turned phrases are what I have for amusement while Franklin pays lip service to going 1-0 this week.

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Comments

  1. Big Al says

    October 16, 2022 at 11:07 am

    State’s offensive ineptitude was expected (I also predicted that the Kitties would score 17 points) but the defensive melt down was rather shocking. The linebacker play, in particular, sucked big time – they consistently blew assignments and missed tackles (is Manny training them to NOT use their arms when making tackles?)

    At least Michigan didn’t wind up with two 200 yard rushers like Moo U did back in 1997 in what was probably the worst defensive effort of Saint Joe’s hallowed tenure. That 1997 team also got curb stomped by the # 1 Michigan team, but still finished the season with a 9-3 record. So, the Sanguinarians can hope that history repeats itself. Although the Sanguinarians are still probably holding on to a vision of the Kitties repeating the 2016 season by redeeming themselves against Minnesota and then upsetting tOSU. Their faith in James Franklin is almost as strong as Wiley Coyote’s faith in Acme products.

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    • The Nittany Turkey says

      October 17, 2022 at 10:41 am

      Good one! The Sanguinarians are sulking while the “Fire Franklin” movement proceeds apace on social media. Aside from the obligatory knee-jerk fire the coach posts, I have spotted some occasional signs of intelligence which recognize that PSU will probably never recruit as well as tOSU and Michigan, especially in getting the best offensive and defensive lineman.

      That’s where we were soundly thrashed on Saturday. We’ve long known that our O-Line sucks; however, we had some hope for the defense, especially with Mustipher coming back. (By the way, with his gut hanging over his belt, he ain’t exactly a Greek statue — well, hell, Refrigerator Perry rendered such arguments irrelevant, so I’ll shut up while I watch my own gut grow). Seems to me that the elite programs will get the guys who win games because that’s where they want to play, while Penn State gets an occasional four- or five-star skill player because they were passed over by Alabama, tOSU, Michigan, Georgia, etc.

      I am at peace, Al. Gone are any expectations for a Top Ten finish (and maybe even a Top Twenty-Five finish). PSU will finish their season ranked below Illinois. I can write my trash from the comfortable position of knowing that my Sanguinocontrary prognostications will be more truth than fiction.

      Much like 2021, the big early ranking was bogus and cruel, because the Sanguinarians fell all that much harder from the Top Ten down to obscurity.

      Hang in there, and embrace the losses, for each one brings us closer to the end of the Franklin Era, even if ends via the evolutionary, rather than revolutionary route. By the way, I heard a wild-ass rumor out of SC, that now that SC Boy Matt Rhule has been fired by the Carolina Panthers, AD Kraft, an asshole buddy of his, will take a serious look in that direction if Franklin blows the rest of the season. Wonder how the trustees would feel about blowing the kind of money Franklin’s buyout would entail?

      It always seems like these Franklin rumors are the product of Acme Bullshit Company.

      —TNT

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      • Big Al says

        October 17, 2022 at 1:15 pm

        I dunno. My muse (Karma) tells me that Matt Rhule will get the Nebraska job. Then, to juice the TV ratings, the B1G suits will schedule Nebraska to play State at the Beav on Labor Day weekend. And Nebraska will win by three touchdowns.

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        • The Nittany Turkey says

          October 17, 2022 at 1:52 pm

          <CHOKE!>

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  2. drozz says

    October 17, 2022 at 9:57 am

    I knew Michigan OL was good, but….that was the best OL I’ve seen thus far in the big 10. Gotta give credit when it’s due.

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    • The Nittany Turkey says

      October 17, 2022 at 10:47 am

      True dat, and they’ll keep on out-recruiting Penn State to continue to get that kind of beef. It’ll be interesting to watch the OSU-Michigan game this year. I’ve heard some idiots claiming that OSU is even better in the trenches.

      At least we had the Alabama-Tennessee game to distract us TV viewers from the pity party and rampant depression.

      —TNT

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