The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Chris Bell Off Team for Good!

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In yet another of the series of incidents involving players whose names are becoming notorious for such shenanigans, Nittany Lion (or should I say ex-Nittany Lion) wide receiver Chris Bell pulled a knife on another student in Pollock Commons and is now in the Centre County jail.

Bell, if you care to remember, has been involved in lots of other shady incidents. At the time of the incident he had been suspended from the team because of that and because of his poor grades. ?????? ????? ???

This Turkey feels that based on this and other incidents, Bell should be voted Most Likely to Follow in Lavon Chisley’s Footsteps. ????? ???? ????? ??? ????

No great loss, though. He couldn’t catch, anyway. ????? ???????

The Athletic Department has as yet made no comments on this latest nonsensical incident.

See the story in the Daily Collegian.

Addendum: The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is reporting that Bell not only has been kicked off the team but also has been banned from the Penn State campus.

Carly Should Teach Her Arm Tatt to Sing

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The Idol wannabes performed on Tuesday, and save for a brilliant performance from David Archuleta, the 17 year-old who looks 13, it was a pretty mundane night.

Dolly Parton’s guest mentorship meant that we would be hearing naught but Dollysongs. Alas, one of those was also a Whitneysong, performances of which in the Whitney style typically cause both my Idol partner, the Redhead, and I, the Nittany Turkey, to blow chunks. Syesha Mercado did the dirty deed with I Will Always Love You, and we both threw up. (I haven’t emptied my vomit bucket yet, just in case she is voted off tonight and gets to sing it again.)

Anyway, in addition to Archuleta’s, credible performances by David Cook and Michael Johns secured the victory for the ballsful contingent. Of the guys, only Jason Castro, who must have been starstruck after Dolly fondled his dreds, actually sucked.

As for the ballsless squad, the stage was replete with a veritable miasma of assorted drek. Carly Smithson delivered the best the breastful ones could muster, but it was nothing close to a knockout punch. Little Ramiele Malubay with the great big voice and somewhat chubby legs looked a little more comfortable than she had been of late, but nothing about her number renewed my faith in her being around at the end. Brooke White sang in whiter shades of pale vanilla white. Non-memorable and bland. The only babe performance of note was horse-girl Kristy Lee Cook, she of the great altitude and fine, fine, superfine legs. They even looked good as she pranced around the stage barefoot. Yeah, I won’t mind keeping her around for another week. Oh yeah, she sang, too, and she does country pretty well. It’s her thing, you know.

So, upon about six seconds thought, one of the following three must go this week: Syesha, Brooke, or Ramiele, not necessarily in that order. A dark horse for odd man out would be Jason Castro, but this Turkey thinks his hair will keep the teen votes coming for at least another week.

Results tonight on Fox.

Dollywood

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Tonight, Dolly Parton is the guest singer on American Idol. I just can’t wait to hear Syesha singing country glitz, but Kristy Lee and Brooke should be right in their element. More interesting will be how David Cook manages to transform country to rock. This will be a week that rewards careful song selection and performing versatility, man.

Yet one more time, I don’t see Kristy going down this week. And you can take dat to da bank!