The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Wisconsin Ramblings

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Wisconsin BadgersFirst of all, let’s get this out of the way.

There. Don’t I feel better now?

No, not really. This Turkey has a sinking feeling in the pit of his capacious stomach, having been subjected to the torture of the 2007 what’s gonna happen next Nittany Lions. I need some Prevacid, ferchrissakes. I don’t want to get into speculation about who’s going to jail, who’s in Paterno’s doghouse, who punched whom, or who got wasted on Red Stripe. This post is about the forthcoming Wisconsin game.

It’s Homecoming. Homecoming games are supposed to be against beatable opposition. Is Wisconsin beatable? I think so, but a lot of things will have to go right. This is neither a game for the molasses-in-January offensive start-up that has been characteristic of the past six games, nor a game for the typical fumbles, interceptions, and penalties we’ve seen in the first half of the season. ??????? ??? ??? ????? Play error-free ball and beat Wisconsin. ???? ????? Sounds pretty simple, but with the veritable plethora of off-field distractions, suspensions, etc., it might be a tall order. But I digress again.

The Badgers (5-1, 2-1 Big Ten) are coming off a heartbreaking loss to Illinois. Sound familiar? Yeah, well Penn State and Wisconsin are in the same boat in that respect, only the Nittany Lions have an intervening win over Iowa to get them feeling cocky again. Wisconsin has a mediocre defense that is just begging to be beaten deep by Morelli and his talented receivers. They rank #81 in pass efficiency defense. Their front seven is no great shakes against the run, either, ranking #62. Last week, they gave up 289 rushing yards to Illinois. ???? ???? ??? ??? ???? So, it would seem as if our offense, such as it is, will have its opportunities if it can play error free. Meanwhile, Wisconsin’s offense might have been fearsome at one point, but right now their big weapons are Travis Beckum at tight end and a hobbled P.J. Hill. Luke Swan, the talented senior wide receiver is injured and out for the year. Even the personal injury lawyers or the lawyers for disability claims can’t help. Last week against Illinois, Beckum and Hill accounted for much of the offense, even though Hill sat out quite a few snaps. Beckum had 160 yards, while Hill had 105 all-purpose yards and a touchdown.

Beckum worries me, and with Hill semi-healthy, I would expect Beckum to get the ball a lot. Last week, he had 11 receptions and he’s currently tied for 18th in the country in number of receptions. The problem here, in this Turkey’s opinion is that our linebackers are not the greatest at pass defense. I would put my money on them stopping Hill, but I think that they can be consistently beaten by 6’4″, 224 lb Beckum. On the other hand, the Nittany Lions rank #16 in pass efficiency defense and #5 in total defense. So, if they play well, they can keep us in the game, leaving it up to our much maligned offense to somehow manage to score some points.

With respect to special teams, Penn State leads the Big Ten in net punting yards and is #4 in the nation in that category, whereas Wisconsin ranks #88. The Badgers rank #73 and #90 in punt returns and kickoff returns, respectively. Perhaps, for a change, the Nittany Lions won’t be giving up so many yards on kickoff coverage.

And now, for the long awaited Official Turkey Poop Prediction. You’ve waded through all that bull above, so you deserve to be rewarded with a long-winded prediction to throw your rotten tomatoes at. The gamblers have installed Penn State as a 7-point favorite, with an over/under of 44.5. That works out to Penn State winning by the score of 26-19. You know, that looks pretty good to me. I think that if we can’t score 27 on Wisconsin, then we deserve to lose. After all, The Citadel rang up 31 on them. So did Illinois, while Michigan State hit them for 34. The Nittany Lions managed to score 27 on Iowa, but their defense sucks worse than Wisconsin’s. Still, I think that this week might be the week that Morelli manages to put together an error-free game. If he does, the prediction is PSU 27, Wisconsin 20. If he and his teammates do not, then we lose. Simple as that.

We’ve got the opportunity to make a statement here. It’s Homecoming. P.J. Hill has a groin injury and isn’t 100%. Luke Swan is on the injured list. Austin Scott is not playing (thus, fewer fumbles and no dancing behind the LOS). Things are looking good for us here. If we blow this chance, team morale goes completely down the toilet, we probably lose on the road at Indiana, and we most assuredly lose to Ohio State the following week. So, let’s not blow this chance.

I Guess Joe Didn’t Get the Letter

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We tried. I don’t think there was a single sports writer or bloggist on the Penn State beat who didn’t at one time or another exhort Paterno to shitcan the expected game plan and do what Appalachian State and Oregon did offensively in their winning efforts over Michigan. Alas, Joe did not listen. From the opening series of this losing performance, it was clear that it would be the same old, conservative game plan.

In case you had your head in the sand today, the final score was 14-9, as #10 Penn State was unable to put the ball in the end zone. Michigan had one legitimate touchdown and one handed to them by Morelli, when he failed to protect the ball in the pocket deep in his own territory. Furthermore, after playing the typically lugubrious offensive game we have come to expect in the first halves of this year’s games thus far, Penn State’s offense woke up and impressively conducted a third quarter march down the field—which also ended in a lost fumble, this time courtesy of our mediocre starting running back, Austin Scott. Those two mistakes, along with Morelli’s generally inaccurate throwing, lost the game for the Nittany Lions.

We wanted to know how we stacked up against quality opposition, inasmuch as the first three games, all won by Penn State, were against the sob sisters of the Division Formerly Known as I-A. We found out. We suck against quality opposition.

This time, we cannot blame biased officiating. From this Turkey’s perspective, the calls were fair and the officials did a good job overall. There were close ones, but as many favored us as favored the Wolverines. (I’m sure some writers will bitch about something, like whether Hart was really in the end zone or not on Michigan’s fourth quarter touchdown or whether the pass interference call in the end zone was improper, but this Turkey doesn’t play that loser’s game. So grow up and realize that it’s not the officiating that is beating Penn State—we can do a good job of screwing up a game all by ourselves!)

We also knew in advance exactly what Michigan’s game plan would be, yet we couldn’t stop Mike Hart from gaining 153 yards. Our vaunted rushing defense was predictably burned. The secondary was not spared, as freshman quarterback Ryan Mallett went 16-29 for 170 yards. Michigan dominated time of possession and had 25 first downs to Penn State’s 14.

So, Michigan is back, our defense isn’t as great as we keep crowing, and we can’t get off the conservative game plan. I guess there’s no hope for that, as long as Paterno is around. However, this is the fourth game of the season and Morelli and Scott are seniors. Why the hell are they out there making rookie mistakes?

Our offense basically sucks. We have an immobile quarterback whose head is not in the game, who can’t hit receivers, and who shoots himself in the foot by not taking care of the ball. We have a primary running back who fumbles the ball in key situations. Hey, Austin Scott—stop feeling sorry for your ass and look across the field! There’s a guy there wearing #20 who hasn’t fumbled in over 900 carries. What the hell is your excuse?

So, yeah, how many of you out there were praying for the defense to score some points because the offense couldn’t? Come on. Admit it, damn it! Man, do I ever hate it when it has to come to that!

I think that the Nittany Lions could have won this game if they had taken care of the ball. That’s a simple thing to ask. It’s drummed into their heads at every practice. And in the case of the two fumbles lost in this game, they weren’t exactly forced out. These were strictly the result of careless ball handling, sloppy play, and having head up the ass instead of in the game.

And Quarless, being a sophomore, is somewhat forgivable for not making the play in the fourth quarter that would have kept a promising drive alive, but just barely. As ABC/ESPN’s intrepid Paul McGuire said, Quarless has to make that play, not just stand there waiting for the ball to hit him in the belly.

So it came down to who had the fire, who wanted it more, and who took care of the basics. That was clearly the Wolverines on all counts.

The Nittany Lions are a middle of the pack Big Ten team with a decent defense and some reasonably good special teams play. There is spotty talent on offense, which is offset by conservative coaching and unforced errors. In particular, a talented receiving corps lies fallow because Morelli, who seemed so promising when he was recruited, still throws anywhere but on-target. And, at the risk of being accused of beating on Austin Scott, need I say anything more about him? The offensive line sucks; without it, there is no consistency in the offensive effort. So, no, sorry. This is not an elite team by any stretch of the imagination. With all due respect to those who proclaimed it invincible after the first three games, your heads weren’t screwed on right. It was a quick and undeserved trip to the top 10; it will be a long time before this team sees anything close to #10 again this season.

Let my PSU negativism not detract from the performance by the Victors. They were nearly perfect, and their freshman quarterback, Ryan Mallett, not only played coolly and effectively in a big game but also seemed to be having great fun out there. His play made me jealous. Michigan has two talented quarterbacks, and we’re stuck with Morelli. Well, we’re stuck with Joe playing Morelli. We actually do have two other promising quarterbacks. But past behavior strongly suggests that Paterno will not sit Morelli for anything short of an injury. He’s a senior and it is his turn. Nevertheless, his bad play made Mallett look like Tom Brady, and I’m sick and tired of this crap, but I digress. Mike Hart had a perfect game, too, wearing down a pretty good defense. Austin Scott should learn from his example. Perhaps it will do him well in the insurance business or whatever his non-football career will be when he leaves Happy Valley.

Next week, we’ll have our hands full with Juice Williams and an up-and-coming Illinois team (formerly and possibly still known as the Fighting Illini) that desperately wants to kick the Lions’ ass on their home turf. If Penn State keeps playing like we saw them play today, if our guys come out with no fire or desire, if they can’t generate any offense in the first half, and if they can’t hang onto the ball, they’ll likely lose this one. I’ll be back later in the week with some irreverent comments about the game and our chances in it.