The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Laser Focus: Top Ten Shuffle

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In this edition of the erratically published Laser Focus, we will touch on the odd happenings in the BCS Top Ten and give you some impressions of the Indiana vs Penn State game, along with some interesting new revelations in the evolving UNC scandal.

First, a look at the new Top Ten, with the love ’em or hate ’em Fighting Irish assuming the top position. (Penn State paranoiacs would suggest that this is an NCAA/BCS plot to put Notre Dame (11-0) in the Still Somewhat Mythical National Championship (SSMNC) Game with Alabama. Why? Because a week after being beaten by Texas A&M, Alabama (10-1) has somehow suddenly regained the #2 slot and because everybody knows that Notre Dame sucks.

How? What? Where?

Who?

After this topsy-turvy week, the remainder of the AP Top Ten are: Georgia (10-1), Ohio State (11-0), Oregon (10-1), Florida (10-1), Kansas State (10-1), LSU (9-2), Texas A&M (9-2), and Florida State (10-1). Obviously, the AP voters give the most respect to the SEC. The BCS standings for this week are not yet available as of the time I’m writing this, but they’re expected to be just about the same, with the exception of the omission of undefeated Ohio State, for reasons well-known to the secular readers of the Turkey’s drivel.

It is worth mentioning that the SEC seems to garner the most respect of sportswriters, as if you didn’t already know that. There are four SEC teams in the top ten. That Georgia is really a better team than Oregon remains in doubt in this turkey’s mind, but they don’t let me vote. They really do play some good football down here in the southeast, but come on! I know most of you hack sports writers are rednecks at heart, but how about voting with your brains for a change, so I don’t have to accuse you of unethically promoting the Notre Dame — Alabama SSMNC in much the same manner as your politwriter brethren promoted a certain incumbent president.

PSU/Big Ten paranoia exists, and we’ll certainly be hearing that Ohio State has as much of a claim on the AP #1 ranking as Notre Dame, but that doesn’t matter outside of sports-oriented cocktail lounges and beer halls. It’s all academic. Tattoogate made it so.

OK, I have to confess here that I HATE the fucking Irish, but I don’t know why. I can eliminate a lot of reasons for liking them, such as I’m not Catholic, I’m not Irish, and I’m no fan of any team that wears blue and gold, but how do we get from mere aversion to hatred? It seems to be a truism that “splitting” behavior exists in all football fans when it comes to affinity or repulsion with respect to Notre Dame. Is it that their fans are so obnoxiously loyal? Is it that their fan base consists of mostly non-alumni, whose claims to glory hinge on the success or failure of the team of largely non-Irish players who call themselves the Irish? Do they think that ugly-looking post-adolescent character playing a leprechaun is adorable, or what? Anyhow, I don’t have any answers, just blind hatred.

I saw that our local PSU Alumni Association Presidette posted in Facebook that for the next week, she must swallow her pride to become a fan of similarly hated USC, who stole our wonderful Silas Redd (who had only three carries in their last game, a 38-28 loss to UCLA), because unranked USC (7-4) is we Irish-haters’ only hope at this point to avert a perfect season for the Irish.

So, how did we get to this point? Well, Upset Weekend included the following:

  • #1 Kansas State (10-1) lost to Baylor (5-5)
  • #2 Oregon (10-1) lost to #13 Stanford (9-2)
  • #3 Notre Dame (11-0) clobbered ACC whipping boy Wake (5-6)
  • #4 Alabama (10-1) put the big hurt on Southern Conference lackeys Western Carolina (1-10)  (the Catamounts’ only win was their opener against the Mars Hill Lions, from yonder over th’ next mountain)
  • #5 Georgia (10-1) beat perennial FCS Southern Conference power Georgia Southern (8-3)
  • #6 Ohio State (11-0) beat the Badgers (7-4) in overtime

So, that win over a bunch of hillbillies was enough to vault Alabama back up there to #2 after losing to the Aggies, which had dropped them to #4, while #2 Oregon suffers a loss to a legitimate Stanford team and drops to #5? The old SEC bias rears its ugly head. When you’re in love, the whole world is Tuscaloosa.

What do you really think about the BCS rankings this week?

******

Now, on to the Penn State — Indiana game. We knew we would win and we knew that the over/under was an overlay, so I hope you made lots of money on the game, those of you who gamble, anyway. I considered this one a “best bet”, for both beating the spread and beating the o/u. Congratulations to those who took my advice. 🙂

Penn State (7-4, 5-2 Big Ten) defeated the Hoosiers (4-7, 2-5) 45-22 before a relatively anemic announced home crowd of 90,358 at high noon on a beautiful day for football in Central Pennsylvania. Attendance of 90,000+ is damn well considered anemic when there’s nothing holding back people from filling the 108,000+ seats at Beaver Stadium, especially for an almost certain win that was sure to be an entertaining game. Shame on you who eschewed going because of Jerry Sandusky! That’s getting to be a lame-ass excuse!

It was entertaining, alright, with over 1000 total yards gained by the two opponents. (The third opponent, the NCAA, did not participate in this game.) There was a lot of suckage on both sides, though, with each team having two turnovers, and Indiana unable to establish the run. (I guess that translates to excellence on the other side of the ball — duly noted.) Nevertheless, the Hoosiers’ quarterback Cameron Coffman was able to attack the Lions’ much-maligned defensive secondary for a decent 33-59 day, totaling 454 yards. Alas, for Coffman, he threw two interceptions, something for which he is not noted.

Penn State’s somewhat balanced offense, which was obviously aware that Indiana’s run defense sucked, ran the ball 44 times for 151 yards. Matt McGloin had a decent day passing, too, 22-32 for 395 yards and four touchdowns, with one interception. In this game he broke Daryll Clark’s record for passing yards by a Penn State quarterback in a season. He also set marks for career passing touchdowns (45) and single-season completions.

Sophomore wideout Allen Robinson also set a record, eclipsing Bobby Engram’s single-season reception total with 73. Robinson had a monster day against the hapless Hoosiers, catching ten passes for 197 yards.

One could consider it a Pyrrhic victory, though, because of the loss of Mike Mauti to a knee injury that could wind up affecting his NFL chances, a bloody shame given that he is the emotional leader of the defense, and if healthy, would be  a damn good NFL linebacker. The repeated knee injuries, however, portend well for him getting into the insurance business after Penn State. There will be those who claim that the block on Mauti was an illegal chop block, but it was in this turkey’s opinion an accident of the type that often happen in the heat of gridiron combat. It’s just a damn crying shame that it had to happen to our best.

In the buildup to this game, the PSU Paranoia crowd over at BSD were predicting that the Big Ten would order its officials to shade calls toward Indiana, because unless Indiana would have been able to win six games by season’s end, the Hoosiers would not be bowl eligible. Accordingly, the Big Ten would not be able to fulfill its eight-slot bowl commitments (with two teams being in the league doghouse). Well, it didn’t happen. The one marginal call seemed to go against Indiana on video review, as this time it was the Nittany Lions who got the benefit of the possible fumble across the goal line call. It looked to me as if the ball was not under control by Zwinach as it crossed the line, but the call on the field was “touchdown.” This looked like a one-game displaced NBA make-up call to this turkey.

Here at the Cave, we were one shy of our usual commitment of drunks and gearheads. However, we filled in that gap by including our missing member, Jackstand, via Google+ Hangout from 35,000 feet over Middle America, which he was traversing on Virgin America’s flight 300. To make life interesting, his flight attendant advised him that he couldn’t talk, but the video would be ok. Well, she didn’t know about the video. It’s all Wi-Fi, anyway, so why should she care? It’s just a matter of training, I guess, but I digress. We’re all geeks here, so this thing worked out, albeit pissing me off at times.

And so, the Nittany Lions have defied lots of pundits’, pseudo-pundits’, and proto-pseudo-pundits’ pessimistic prognostications with their accomplishments this season — including indelibly etching a winning record into the annals of college football history. The doubters included this here turkey, who is mightily impressed. Congratulations to Bill O’Brien and his staff, team leaders McGloin, Mauti, and Zordich, and the loyal Penn State fans for having faith in this spunky bunch of overachievers.

Can they beat a “real” team now to close the season? They failed with Ohio State and Nebraska, although PSU Paranoiacs would say the officials lost those for the Nittany Lions. With a Wisconsin win, there exists the potential for a serious statement to the world of college football, the NCAA, and the Big Ten. We STILL are Penn State!

******

I had almost forgotten about the UNC scandal and how lightly it was glossed over by the NCAA until reader Joe reminded me of it by sending me a link to a distressing article in the News & Observer about UNC’s tolerance for cheating by athletes. Well, it was distressing to this turkey, anyhow. To others of you, it will inspire pissed-offedness about unequal treatment by the NCAA. Anyhow, the article leads off with this tidbit:

As a reading specialist at UNC-Chapel Hill, Mary Willingham met athletes who told her they had never read a book and didn’t know what a paragraph was. She said she saw diagnostic tests that showed they were unable to do college-level work.

But many of those athletes stayed eligible to play sports, she said, because the academic support system provided improper help and tolerated plagiarism. When she raised questions or made an objection to what she saw as cheating, she said, she saw no one take her concerns seriously.

Willingham is still there at UNC, but she’s no longer in contact with athletes. She had complained to the administration long before the scandal erupted, but her comments went nowhere.

Interestingly, her master’s thesis written during that time, was on the subject of the corrupting influence of big-money sports on university academics. I’m going to love to read that research report, entitled “Athletics vs. Academics, a Clash of Cultures.”

However, Willingham decided to tell all to the News & Observer. Some of her key findings are revealed in the article, entitled “UNC tolerated cheating, says insider Mary Willingham.”

This is a dirty little subject that deserves more public scrutiny, and this turkey believes in public service. So, read it, already. Student athletes are neither students nor athletes. Tawk amongst yaselves. Discuss!

Thanks again to the ever vigilant Joe for sending me the link.

 

 

Mistakes’ll Kill Ya

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In a mistake-laden performance reminiscent of bad high school football, Penn State (4-1, 1-0 Big Ten) prevailed over Indiana (1-4, 0-1 Big Ten) 16-10.

The Nittany Lions’ performance flat out sucked, following a disgusting pattern that has long afflicted them in road games, particularly noon starts.

The team came out flat but managed to threaten early. Classic red zone ineptitude ensued. Rob Bolden threw what looked to be a touchdown pass from the eight yard line, but it was nullified by a holding penalty. So, this Turkey was thinking, they’ll probably wind up settling for three in the worst case. What happens? Bolden throws a damn interception in the end zone and State is denied the opportunity to draw first blood. That’s road game red zone ineptitude. Epic fail!

Indiana would draw first blood with a 49 yard field goal on the ensuing series. Midway through the second period, Penn State would come back to tie. Ho hum.

I was beginning to feel that my crystal ball was a bit off. Recall that I predicted a 35-20 game. This one was likely to finish 6-3, setting football back 100+ years to that first game between Princeton and Rutgers, which ended with a 6-4 score, which was the identical score to the Penn State-Iowa game that previously served as the prime example of Penn State retrofootball. But I digress. Although the Nittany Lions won, taking the “over” would have been a mistake, as the Las Vegas books were taking over/under action at 48. The final total was a mighty 26. However, as expected, PSU did not cover the spread. (What else is new?) No one ever went broke in the 21st Century betting against Penn State covering the spread.

The half wound up deadlocked at 3-3, as Anthony Fera missed a 52-yard field goal at the gun. Joe Paterno limped off the field and would spend the second half in the press booth. If he gave the boys a chewing out in the locker room, it had no effect as they came out flat again in the second half.

They managed to squander an opportunity to get a quick six points on a Hoosier fumble at their own 13 yard line. Against a rushing defense ranked #97, you would think that Silas Redd could quickly hit paydirt. Well, for that, he would have to be given the ball. He wasn’t. Two crappily incomplete Bolden passes and a Bolden 3 yard run was all this low powered offense could muster. The Lions finally took a 6-3 lead on a 27-yarder by Anthony Fera.

After an IU three-and-out, Bolden rode the legs of Silas Redd and Curtis Dukes sown to the Indiana three yard line in the only sustained drive of the game thus far. Could this finally be an elusive touchdown? Nope. Redd fumbled the ball away at the Indiana 2. No points.

On the next Penn State series, Matt McGloin threw a 74 yard touchdown pass to Derek Moye, the only brilliant play of the game, which would give the Lions all the points they would need to win this slopfest. They added three for good measure at the onset of the fourth period on a 33 yard Fera field goal. The Hoosiers staged a comeback attempt and seemed like they might be able to actually accomplish it, scoring a touchdown with about four minutes remaining. They made one more try at the end of the game, managing to drive down to the PSU 40 and throwing a hail mary at the final gun, which failed. Final score, Penn State 16, Indiana 10.

Penn State was good enough to put twice as many points on the board against the worst defense in the Big Ten. They had 464 yards overall, which could have been many, many more had their two-headed quarterback been able to connect with receivers. This time, it was not the receivers’ fault. Both Bolden and McGloin seemed to be throwing at receivers’ feet. Together, they were 16-36 for 271 yards, one touchdown and one interception. In addition to the INT, Penn State lost two fumbles and were penalized five times for 60 yards. Mistakes’ll kill ya.

There is no winner in the quarterback competition. They both suck. The offensive line is truly offensive, in the deodorant commercial sense of the word. There is no fire, no animation in these guys on either side of the ball. Mauti’s loss was  a big one, as now, Drew Astorino is the only PSU defender who shows any emotion. It will truly suck to watch these clowns the rest of the year.

Silas Redd should be pissed off at his inept offensive line for making him have to do all the work. He could be seen frequently moving his own blockers’ bodies out of the way in order to gain some running room. As predicted by this Turkey, Redd had a breakout day, with 29 carries for 129 yards. Curtis Dukes ably handled the backup chores with 54 yards of his own.

Derek Moye led all Penn State receivers with six catches for 158 yards and a touchdown.

OK, now look, boys and girls. This Turkey is going to tell you something. This team sucks with a capital “S”. Given this performance and its portent for things to come, the road gets very rocky from now on. Without stretching things too much, I can see them going 1-6 from here out. If they can’t even handle fundamentals, I’m not even going to enjoy watching them. It’s been a long time since I’ve missed a Penn State game on television, other than to attend the game live, but I’ll miss at least one of the forthcoming games, because frankly, I have better ways of wasting my time.

I’ll be back later in the week to preview the loss to Iowa.

 

 

PSU vs. Indiana

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Catchy title, eh? I didn’t want to strain my brain at this late hour. This is probably the latest game preview I’ve filed. There are no deadlines around here.

Indiana UniversityHere we have probably the least desirable major college football matchup that is still actually televised today. On a day on which Nebraska and Wisconsin square off in the same time slot as Florida vs. Alabama, 8 pm, we wouldn’t expect that any but the hardiest of die-hard Penn State and Indiana fans will be watching this thing. ESPN didn’t think so either, as the game is relegated to ESPNU, which is where you go when your game is too crappy to be broadcast on ESPN2. That’s how far down the totem pole we are today.

I cringe to think of the announcing crew we’ll get. Last week we had a babe who was not Pam Ward. She seemed better than Pam, who seems to be on beta-blockers, but she just didn’t do it for me.

On a TV watching desirability scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is another boring Obama speech and 10 is the latest “Game of the Century” this year, this one merits a 2. If your wife would like to take you shoe shopping at the mall during this time slot, you might have to think about that one for a while.

This has all the components of a frustrating game for Penn State (3-1, 0-0 Big Ten), as perennial Big Ten patsy Indiana (1-3, 0-0 Big Ten) hosts the Nittany Lions in Bloomington. It’s a noon start, which we’ve beaten to death here, but, furthermore, it’s a noon start on the road, which has long been a perilous scenario for the Lions. The coaching, which is notably anal in the friendly confines of Beaver Stadium, tightens up even more away from home, even against an awful team like the Hoosiers. The players might tend to look past this week’s patsy to next week’s perennial nemesis, Iowa. The spark plug for the defense, Michael Mauti, is out for the season with a torn ACL, and the offense is hampered by Joe Paterno’s quarterback tag team, not to mention an inept offensive line. The kicking game comes into play in close games, which this one shouldn’t be, but for all the aforementioned reasons, certainly could be. Typically, Penn State will let an opponent like Indiana hang around most of the game, then need a humungous  effort in the second half to surmount them. That’s called dumb, and that’s cause by the conservative coaching coupled with other problems like receivers dropping passes. It would be a trap game were it not for last week’s victory over another cream puff for the Lions.

The Hoosiers will come out loaded for bear, given that their furious fourth quarter comeback against mighty North Texas of the Sun Belt Conference last week fell short by a field goal. The only problem is that they’ll be facing Lions this week, so the bear loads will be ineffectual. In the 24-21 loss to North Texas, IU gave up 427 yards to a balanced attack. Neither team showed much defense, with the Hoosiers’ predominately aerial game netting 404 yards. Indiana’s two quarterbacks attempted 52 passes in that game, completing 30, with two touchdowns and an interception, accounting for 354 of those 404 total yards. That leaves just 50 for the ground game. You’ve really gotta have a ground game to win in the Big Ten.

So, remember last week when this Turkey said that the Emus would eschew the pass based on their pattern thus far, but they came out throwing? Well, no dumb cluck this Turkey is. I learn by my mistakes, so I’m going to say that the Hoosiers will come out throwing. Try and fool me will they? I’ll show ’em. However, Indiana has some dangerous receivers, and Penn State’s secondary is not all that good, certainly not as good as the defense’s current #7 ranking against the pass implies. With D’Anton Lynn out this week, they’ll be struggling even more. Everyone knows how to beat the Sandusky Zone, and even EMU was effective to some extent against it. So, I do expect Indiana to complete some passes against them, some for sizable gains.

With the Lions on offense, look for a breakout day for Silas Redd. Even with an offensive line that sucks, Redd should do well against a defense that is ranked #95 against the run. The two-headed quarterback wearing the white jersey can feel confident in throwing the ball, too, as Indiana ranks #85 in pass efficiency defense and #117 in sacks. A balanced attack should work well in this game, especially if the receivers do their jobs and catch the damn ball!

The special teams are about evenly sucky. Penn State has a slight edge here because of its superior punter; however, if this game goes the way this Turkey thinks it will, there will be little cause for the Lions to punt.

The weather won’t be a factor, as the forecast is for perfect football weather: mostly sunny with a high of 60°.

I want to see Penn State jump out to an early lead and stay out of striking range the rest of the way. Will they do it that way? Nah, I doubt it. This is one of those “Yeah, we suck, but the opponent sucks worse” kind of games. Players never seem to be seriously upbeat about that kind, and especially with Mauti gone, spirit is going out the window. I cringe to think of what lackluster play will do to the Nittany Lions in November, if not sooner.

So, before I go back to bed, I’m going to favor you with the Official Turkey Poop Prediction come hell or high water. The crooks at gambling parlors favor the Lions by 14.5 points, with an over/under of 48. This game could get pretty pretty pretty wild with all that passing happening. After both teams stink up the first quarter, Indiana will jump out ahead by a touchdown, the Lions will wake up, and then hell’s fury will be unleashed. (Or not.) In a somewhat entertaining second half, the Lions catch up and then play see-saw for a while before beating the Hoosiers 35-21. This time, as usual, they fail to cover the spread, but you can take the “over.”

See y’all soon for a recap of the game, if I can stay awake through it.

 

 

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