The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Larry Pleads Guilty

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Spring practice is here for the Nittany Lions, so I get to perk up and write some football news, for a change. ??????? ??? ??? ????? Well, not really. I get to write about one of my favorite spoiled ingrate millionaire ex-Nittany Lions, Larry Johnson, Jr.

Well, he’s too disgusting to write about. ???? ???? ??????? ???? The Kansas City Chiefs’ running back is hanging onto his job by a thread, and he continues to screw up off the field while being dour and pouty in his approach to every damn coach he’s ever had. Is it any wonder why head coach Herman Edwards didn’t make it in KC? ???? ????? ????????? He started things off by guaranteeing his failure — he said that Larry was his man.

In the latest Johnsonine development, we find Larry pleading guilty to two counts of disturbing the peace.

Timmons, Two Others, Kicked Off Team

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Special teams cornerback Knowledge Timmons got the boot by Joe Paterno, along with two other players yet to be named, reported The Daily Collegian today. Speculation abounded in the rumor mill over the identity of the other two, centering around names like Baker, Bowman, and Harriott.

It is unclear whether the dismissal from the team is permanent in Timmons’ or the others’ cases. Any way you look at this, the team is losing significant talent at positions that were already thin. Nevertheless, this Turkey is in favor of weeding out assholes. I’d rather have a string of 3-9 seasons than watch a bunch of criminally minded jerkoffs playing for my old alma mater. I guess I am a dinosaur when this sort of shit makes me feel like college football (in parallel with the rest of our society) is going to hell in a hand basket.

I suppose my hopes for positive stories in the new year were pipe dreams. In any case, read about this latest ignominious achievement for the PSU football program here.