The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Michigan State 28, PSU 22

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As we expected, the Penn State Nittany Lions (7-5, 4-4 Big Ten) were defeated by the #10 Michigan State Spartans (11-1, 7-1) in Beaver Stadium in Saturday’s season finale. This was Moo U’s first win on PSU home turf since 1965, and to the victors (no pun intended) go the spoils: the vaunted Land Grant Trophy will remain in East Lansing for at least the next three years, as these teams won’t play each other in 2011 and 2012. No one at Penn State expressed any great sadness over getting rid of the trophy, at least on aesthetic grounds.

“We’ve got to learn to play a full game. Today we came out flat, and we ended up playing well.” —Matt McGloin

Although this Turkey predicted a Penn State win, I didn’t really expect it to happen. I was being magnanimous in supporting my team for the final game of the season. My original, beginning of season prognostication counted this game as a loss, and I’ve felt that way all along. Michigan State had the goods to get double digit wins and actually finish a season on the upswing. They get a piece of the Big Ten Championship, although considering the tie breakers, they’ll probably wind up in a non-BCS bowl while Wisconsin and Ohio State get the major pay-outs. Nevertheless, this is the first time since 1990 that Sparty has even gotten within sniffing distance of the Big Ten Championship.

Meanwhile, by losing this game, the Nittany Lions have rung up the most losses in a season since 2004, the last of the dreaded “Dark Years.” They’re barely bowl eligible, but they tied with Illinois and Iowa for fourth place in the Big Ten. I don’t know how they managed to do this, but I know people who before the season even started predicted that Penn State would go to the Gator Bowl. That appears to be the most likely spot at the moment. Illinois and Iowa both beat PSU head to head, so theoretically they should get better bowls, even though Iowa lost to miserable Minnesota at season’s end. Most likely, Iowa will go to the Outback Bowl and Illinois will go to the Texas Bowl. The most likely bowl opponent for Penn State would seem at the moment to be the Florida Gators. If the Lions do, in fact, wind up in the Outback Bowl, they would probably face South Carolina. However, that’s all the bowl speculation I’ll get into at this point.

As we frequently note here, noon starts are anathema to the Nittany Lions. They hit the field sleepwalking and show few signs of enthusiasm or desire. Therefore, is it any wonder that they dragged their sorry tails back into the locker room at halftime down 14-3?

In the first series of the third quarter, they lost considerable momentum when the great Penn State coaching brain trust apparently thought they should throw a little razzle-dazzle at the Moosters. It didn’t work. After Penn State received the deferred kickoff and returned it to the 24, McGloin hooked up with Justin Brown for a 26 yard gain to the 50. Then, two Sphincter Mode Royster runs brought up a third and one. No problem there. Better than third and long. So what’s the call? A stupid, slow developing reverse to Devon Smith! With one lousy yard to go, they’re out there running gimmick plays! If I hadn’t been half crocked on wine at Mike’s Garage at the time, I would have been extremely pissed off. The play ended predictably, with Smith crashing into MSU defensive end Colin Neely, who nobody bothered to block. Smith is listed at 5-7, 153 and Neely is listed at 6-1, 258. What do you think happened? Yeah, well, Smith is still alive, but he took a nine yard loss on the play, giving back those hard earned Royster Sphincter yards. WTF??? The Lions had to punt. What order xanax online consultation might have happened if they called something more “normal” on third-and-one, we’ll never know.

In fact, they didn’t come to life again until the fourth quarter, down 21-3, when they scored 19 points. PSU defense being what it has been, however, they let Moo U score another touchdown, which was the score that would eventually put the game out of reach for the extinct Pennsylvania mountain lions. An onside kick with one minute left on the game clock would have given Penn State life–they would have needed a touchdown to tie or win–but it fell into the hands of a Michigan State defender. It wouldn’t have gone 10 yards anyway. I guess with Fera having handled kickoff duties most of the season, Wagner didn’t get much onside kick practice, or something. That was all she wrote.

Matt McGloin wound up with another excellent day, completing 23 of 43 passes for 312 yards with two touchdowns and an interception. Combined with his 315 yard effort in the Indiana game, this represents the first time in Penn State history that a quarterback has had back-to-back 300 yard games. The running game was primarily Evan Royster, who had 85 yards on 14 carries with one touchdown. Freshman sensation Silas Redd could not get his game on track. Michigan State shut him down quickly, and he had only 7 yards on three carries. Did you notice that he was used on kickoff returns in this game? He didn’t do much there, either, with two returns for 39 yards.

Derek Moye was undoubtedly the player of the game, at least from this Turkey’s perspective. With five catches for 65 yards and a touchdown, he would have merely had a good day, but he played his fumble-forcing ball-snatching trick again and cemented his heroism in my mind. Graham Zug had his best receiving day of the year with five catches for 55 yards. Justin Brown had six receptions for 106 yards, including a long one of 45 yards.

For the Spartans, Edwin Baker had 118 yards and a touchdown against the Penn State defense, which saw the return of Mike Mauti. Keyshawn Martin added 41 yards on the ground. It appeared as if Mark D’Antonio felt that he could run on PSU, so he did. Good strategy, as it turned out. Meanwhile, Kirk Cousins had a near perfect day in the pocket, completing 17 of 22 for 152 yards and two touchdowns. The Penn State pass defense is no great shakes, either, it seems. They were unable to pressure Cousins and didn’t record a single damn sack.

Nate Stupar was the kick-ass defender this week, with 10 tackles and a forced fumble that kept Penn State in the game late.

As MSU coach Mark D’Antonio said, his guys played well most of the game and let up in the fourth quarter. Penn State didn’t play particularly well until late in the third quarter, but the Spartans escaped with a win on the scoreboard and that’s all that counts.

The normally disciplined Nittany Lions were penalized for 67 yards. Devon Still really took the prize with his two roughing calls. Was he taking out a whole season’s frustration on a quarterback and a punter? The Lions had been the least penalized team in Division I-A.

The crowd was pitiful, at least in terms of seats filled. The official attendance was 102,649, but the student section was damn near empty. Perhaps the cold weather, the snow flurries, and the fact that Thanksgiving break was in progress conspired against having a full house, but they could have done better than that!

This year the Lions lost on both Homecoming Day and Senior Day, so they made both the alums and the seniors unhappy.

We thank the Seniors for the thrills and chills they’ve given us for the past several years and we wish them the greatest of good fortune in life!

Regular Season Bragging Rights

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OK, guys, fess up—who got this Penn State season right and who went down in flames?

For a change, this Turkey was right on the money with his season forecast as expressed in “The Long Road Ahead” last August. Bragging rights accrue to the Nittany Turkey. To the victor belongs the spoils.

My regular season won-loss prediction was 7-5, right on the old beameroonie. I wrote that that record would be good enough for a fourth place finish in the Big Ten. Lo and behold, it was so! I successfully predicted the losses to Alabama, Iowa, Ohio State, and Michigan State; however I slightly fumbled the ball when I predicted that the remaining loss would be to either Michigan or Northwestern instead of lowly Illinois.

I incorrectly predicted that McGloin would be the starter for the Youngstown State game because I felt that Bolden and Newsome were in no way ready to play. I suppose the coaches had to wait for a while to figure that one out for themselves. They didn’t bother to ask me.

I predicted that Joe Paterno would get his 400th—all right, I know this one was a mathematical slam-dunk—and I expressed doubt about whether reaching that number would induce him to retire. He got to 401, and he ain’t retiring, at least for now.

Then, I jokingly wrote that the Lions would turn down a Motor City Bowl Bid, then added that they were likely to get a warm weather bowl due to their huge following who bring big bucks. Chances are that they’ll be invited to the Gator Bowl (or perhaps the Outback Bowl, in view of Iowa’s tragic loss to Minnesota), so that waffle looks good, too.

I expressed concern about the linebackers, which didn’t take a genius. Mauti proved to be worthy of Linebacker U., but none of the others impressed me. Neither was a savant necessary to predict troubles for the offensive line, which I felt would hinder both the running and passing game. For some reason, though, the pass protection wasn’t absolutely awful, but the run blocking was abysmal.

On the other hand, I didn’t mention the defensive line at all in my prognostication. I thought it would be solid. I had expected a big year from Jack Crawford, at least. No such luck. The defensive line struggled. The whole front seven struggled and tackling was Pop Warnerish. The McCabe sisters could have wrapped up people better than Colisanti and Gbdayu. ????? ???? ????

I thought punting would be an issue after the crappy punting performance at the Blue White game. 888 ?????? On the contrary, Anthony Fera was pretty effective most of the year, both punting and kicking off. This was a pleasant surprise. It is a shame that he had the emergency appendectomy and subsequent complications, which ended his year prematurely.

The only two things I completely failed to predict were the Stanley/Redd Double Urinegate and the Jenn Sterger/Brett Favre fiasco. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???????? Who woulda known? Epic fail, man.

I called this a mediocre Penn State year, and I think you’ll all agree that that’s what it was. After the sad homecoming debacle of the Illinois game, it looked like all was lost and many didn’t believe that the Nittany Lions would win another game during the remainder of the year. However, hope was restored after the Michigan win. Then it looked bleak again after blowing the 14-3 lead to Ohio State. Just goes to show you that you’re never as bad as you seem to be when you lose, and you’re never as good as you think you are when you win. I believe that the boys did as well as could be expected this year and further, I think this team has a lot of potential to do good things next year, especially if McGloin remains the starting QB. So I’m going to congratulate them on giving us some good memories this year, even if they’re not the greatest Penn State team to ever tie on the cleats.

And to the seniors, thanks for the thrills you’ve given us through the years and good luck with your futures, in football and beyond!

I haven’t recapped the Michigan State game yet. I’ll do that in a subsequent post. It’s late and I don’t want to rush through it, being my last chance at biting commentary for the regular season. Speaking of Moo U., I predicted that they would win at least 10 games this season. They won 11. Hey? Huh? Give it up for the Turkey, who really doesn’t get to brag all that often.

Hope you all had a happy and safe Thanksgiving weekend!

Moo U. vs. PSU: Part Deux

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In yesterday’s article, we ridiculed the Land Grant Trophy, the laughable iconic representation of the Penn State vs. Michigan State contrived rivalry, which apparently will dissolve with the Big Ten expansion coming next year. Today, we go from the ridiculous to the 50 yard-line as we preview the game itself.

The Penn State Nittany Lions (7-4, 4-3 Big Ten) will host the #10 Michigan State Spartans (10-1, 6-1 Big Ten) at Beaver Stadium on Saturday at high noon. Being the last home game of the regular season, it will be Senior Day for Penn State. However, much of the drama and passion that might have accompanied this contest was defused on Tuesday when Penn State head coach Joe Paterno announced his intentions to coach the squad again in 2011. Many had heretofore speculated that the Michigan State game would be his last game at Beaver Stadium before hanging up the cleats.

Of course, you all know that the last time Michigan State won at Beaver Stadium, the Turkey was a sophomore, the girls had to keep 11 pm weeknight and 1 am weekend curfews, Beaver Stadium held 44,000, and Rip Engle was head coach. Penn State was gobsmacked 23-0 by a Moo U. team destined to hold a piece of the national championship. That was 1965 and this is now. The Lions have faced the Spartans 28 times in all, but since joining the Big Ten, Sparty has been unable to prevail in the hostile confines of Beaver Stadium.

This year would seem to be their best chance in a long time. MSU comes into the game having been defeated only by Iowa. Ranked tenth nationally, they are playing for a BCS bowl and the Big Ten championship. They have lots at stake here, while Penn State is playing for (perhaps) whether it is invited to the Outback Bowl (Tampa) or the Gator Bowl (Jacksonville). Many think so, anyhow.

The Spartans have been playing well and somewhat more emotionally than usual since head coach Mark D’Antonio suffered a mild heart attack following the overtime win over Notre Dame. He is back on the sidelines now.

Junior quarterback Kirk Cousins stands tall among Big Ten quarterbacks. A straight drop-back passer, at 6’3″, he has great field vision and plays a competent passing game, ranking 23rd in pass efficiency. Senior wide receiver Mark Bell is his favorite target. Bell had 108 yards and two touchdowns in the 35-31 win over Purdue last week. Junior B.J. Cunningham caught six passes for 51 yards and a touchdown in the Purdue game. Cousins should be able to make things happen against the Penn State secondary.

The Spartans have settled on sophomore Edwin Baker as their primary running back. He has rewarded that choice by producing over 1,000 yards thus far. While Moo U. was not expected to have a decent running game this year, Baker and the O-Line have surprised everyone with an average of 7.3 yards per carry.

Given that Penn State’s defense is decimated by injuries and ranks 75th in rushing and 73rd in pass efficiency, Cousins and Baker should have a pretty good day.

On the other side of the ball, Michigan State’s defense is reasonably good, although it continues to allow inferior teams to put up a lot of points. Last week, Purdue had 31 and was holding a lead deep into the fourth quarter. When asked at the press conference what he thought of that game, Joe Paterno responded, “Purdue is on the verge of becoming a good football team.” In Paterno’s classification heirarchy, there are but two designations for opponents: good football teams and almost good football teams. The former includes both good and mediocre teams, while teams described as the latter just plain suck. On paper it is hard to excuse the Spartans for their penchant for giving up points on occasion. Still, they rank 23rd nationally in scoring defense.

They also rank 23rd in rushing defense, which means that Messrs. Royster and Redd might have a rough time of it, especially if tight-assed coaching rears its ugly head. Penn State ranks 71st in rushing. We might see a couple more reverses involving Derek Moye, which might not look as good as they did against Indiana as the play develops slowly and Michigan State’s front seven is reasonably solid, led by senior middle linebacker Greg Jones, everybody’s All-America and Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year in 2009. Although at 6’1″, he lacks NFL middle linebacker size, Jones makes up for that with quickness and his ability to play sideline to sideline. He decided to return this year instead of entering the NFL Draft, which sits just fine with Spartan fans. I would expect him to go pretty high in the draft whenever he does enter it.

In pass efficiency defense, the Spartans are 28th, versus Penn State’s 71st ranked passing efficiency. If you are playing the lottery this week, make damn good and sure that you play 23 and 71.

In special teams, Keyshawn Martin is a dangerous return man who ranks first in the Big Ten and sixth in the nation for punt returns, with an average of 14.2 yards. Martin is also a wide receiver. I could see Penn State allowing some serious return yardage in this game if Martin’s recently injured ankle doesn’t give him trouble.

The forecast weather conditions for Saturday are cloudy, windy, and cool. The Thanksgiving storm will have passed by then. The wind might present a problem to the passers and the stadium footing might be soft and chunky at times.

Once again, this is a noon start. The student section will be slow to fill and there’ll be a lethargic, uninspired feel for the entire first quarter. If Moo U. grabs the lead early, it will be a long, hard road back. Although the Moosters are not extremely great at forcing turnovers, it will be essential that the Nittany Lions take care of the ball. Another “Key” to the game is to keep Keyshawn Martin corralled on returns. Finally, keep pressure on Cousins, hoping that he’ll make a mistake.

The pneumonia is making me sleepy again, so we’ll have to do the Official Turkey Poop Prediction right now, before I fall asleep completely. Moo U. is favored by 2, with an over/under of 51. This suggests a final score of approximagically 26-25, or thereabouts. There is certainly something to be said about home field advantage for this game and it’s Senior Day, to boot. What the hell, it’s the final game of the season, so I’ll be patriotic. Penn State 31, Michigan State 27 (take the over).

From all of us at the Turkey to all of you out there in Readerland, we wish you and yours a very happy, safe Thanksgiving!! (We’re eating steak this year. Let the turkeys be!)