Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Well, the unthinkable has happened on American Idol. Kristy Lee Cook bit the dust last night and I’m bummed.
I honestly think that she did a much better job on Tuesday night than Carly and Brooke. She even arguably did better than Syesha.
I don’t know what to think of the voters now.
She does. Brooke White needs all the armor she can get to cling to any hope of surviving this week on American Idol.
She and Carly both sucked on Tuesday night. Syesha was just OK. She didn’t thrill me very much. However, among the women, the biggest surprise was Kristy Lee Cook, who—no matter what Simon sez—nailed her song. (I’d like to nail her.)
Carly covered her tattoo, which was a good thing. At one point, the camera provided us with a shot of her husband, who looked either like he had been in a vehicle-pedestrian collision with a paint truck or took a wrong turn and rode his bike through a paint ball battlefield. So we had ample advertising for the family tattoo parlor. But the singing sucked the big one.
Among the guys, David Cook’s original arrangement was a standout, but David Archuleta delivered hands-down the best performance of the evening. This competition is his to lose, and it ain’t likely that he will.
I think Brooke should go, but my predictions have been way off this season. So, I’m going to say that Carly will be the one shedding the tears tonight. Tune in at 9ET/8CT and see for yourself!
The American Idol public has voted and…
Michael Johns is out.
There’s always a shocker at this stage of the competition. Michael was this year’s version. A solid singer with no glaring flaws or distracting tattoos, Johns just gets up there and sings with passion and style. He’s got a good voice. He’s good looking. His rendition of “Dream On” was adequate, in this writer’s opinion. So why is he gone?
…of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”
Thank you, John Greenleaf Whittier.
Wait, that doesn’t rhyme unless you pronounce pen like peen and been like bean; or pen like pin and been like bin; or pen like pen and been like Ben. ???? ??? ???? Hey, that’s my name! There are lots of possibilities. Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like bean. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???? Some of us pronounce pen like pin and been like Ben. Some of us pronounce pen like pen and been like bin. What is poetry, anyway? Haiku doesn’t rhyme. What the hell. Know what I’m sayin’. Sheeeiiiitttt! (That’s Ebonic for “Oh, darn! ???? ???? ????? ”)
Michael Johns gone
No stopping Mexican kid
Kristy Lee must stay.
I didn’t expect Johns to be in the final two, but in my thinking he was at least good enough for the final four, which I believe should have been David Archuleta, David Cook, and Carly Smithson, in addition to Johns.
However, who am I to make such a prediction when the American public votes the way they do? It is not up to me to set the standards. Each voter gets to vote his or her own mind, just as many times as their button-pushing fingers, their patience, and their persistence will allow.
So, one has to suspect that the demography of the voting population is substantially different from mine. They have to be a helluva lot younger, for one thing. Youth is a state of mind, you say, but try and keep up with current affairs in the music business! I find myself 5, 10, 15 years behind and the gap is widening. Perhaps the brain has a limited capacity for accommodating pop music as it ages or perhaps our clinging to our old favorites—damn old, at this point—limits the absorptive capacity for new additions. Or maybe a lot of what’s currently popular doesn’t suit us. Or maybe much of it is pure crap. We had pure crap back in my younger days, but none of it had to do with bitches, hoes, and cappin’ cops’ asses. (Remember “Surfer Bird” by the Trashmen? That was the 60s. How about the 50s? “Purple People Eater”? But I digress…)
We know one thing: David Archuleta is destined to prevail in this competition unless he fatally alienates his fan base, which is highly unlikely. It appears to this Turkey that David Cook and Carly Smithson with any hope of offering him a serious challenge, but I have to believe that those hopes are slim. However, anything can happen. I have proved regularly by my off-base predictions here that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’m out of touch with the voters.
This week features Mariah Carey as “guest mentor.” In other words, she’s promoting her new album and her signature perfume. This is the blurb from the Idol web site:
After being a part of the highly successful Idol Gives Back show last week, international superstar Mariah Carey will be gracing the “Idol” stage once again this Wednesday (results night) to sing “Bye Bye,” the latest single from her new album, E=MC2.
So, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson will have good chances to show off their pipes this week. So will the backup singers. I think Brooke White can probably do well, too, if she picks the right Mariah song. So can David Archuleta. It remains to be seen whether Jason Castro and David Cook can adapt this kind of commercial crap to their style.
And Kristy Lee Cook—dear Kristy—what will you do for Daddy this week? Choose well, you long-legged, fresh-faced baby girl, and keep this old Turkey happy for yet another week!
Looking is all I can do about it at my age! (Right, Artificially Sweetened?)
