She does. Brooke White needs all the armor she can get to cling to any hope of surviving this week on American Idol.
She and Carly both sucked on Tuesday night. Syesha was just OK. She didn’t thrill me very much. However, among the women, the biggest surprise was Kristy Lee Cook, who—no matter what Simon sez—nailed her song. (I’d like to nail her.)
Carly covered her tattoo, which was a good thing. At one point, the camera provided us with a shot of her husband, who looked either like he had been in a vehicle-pedestrian collision with a paint truck or took a wrong turn and rode his bike through a paint ball battlefield. So we had ample advertising for the family tattoo parlor. But the singing sucked the big one.
Among the guys, David Cook’s original arrangement was a standout, but David Archuleta delivered hands-down the best performance of the evening. This competition is his to lose, and it ain’t likely that he will.
I think Brooke should go, but my predictions have been way off this season. So, I’m going to say that Carly will be the one shedding the tears tonight. Tune in at 9ET/8CT and see for yourself!
The Redhead says
Hey Turkey!
I’ll be a little late tonight but I will be here.
See you then,
The Redhead.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK…I’ll put a “late” mark in the attendance book for you.
It appears as if our local rag’s TV Guy watched a different show than we did last night. He seems to think that Brooke was the best of the female singers and Kristy was the worst. I don’t know what he was smoking while they were singing.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK. Who will be out. Play-by-play courtesy of the Turkey until you show up.
The Nittany Turkey says
Season high—36 million votes. Mariah and Elliot Yamin will be with us tonight.
The Nittany Turkey says
The assembled contestants will sing One Sweet Day. Jason kicked it off—off key!
The Nittany Turkey says
Kristy took over with a great top and renewed confidece. Her jeans and beaded belt are great, too!
The Nittany Turkey says
Brooke is adding some syncopated crap that is too low for her.
The Nittany Turkey says
Carly is dressed like a third grade teacher.
The Nittany Turkey says
Altogether the number is not working for me. It sounds like cacophony in the ensemble parts and the solos bite the big one. The Ford commercial is quite welcome.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now we’re reviewing last night.
The Nittany Turkey says
Mariah says she wants them all to win.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now, we get down to business. Which one is leaving us tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
Jason. He sang, I Don’t Wanna Cry. America voted. Jason will start a group to Seacrest’s left.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now we bring out David Cook. David sang Always Be My Baby. America voted. David will start a group to Seacrest’s right.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now, Carly comes out in her teacher outfit showing her tatt. She says she really enjoyed herself last night but Simon’s been hard on her. Carly heads to the left to join Jason.
The Nittany Turkey says
Kristy Lee in da house. Kristy sang Forever. Simon found it a bit whiney. Kristy said most of the time she agrees with him, but he “can be a butt at times.” She joins David Cook, to Seacrest’s right.
Now we take a break and we get to wonder what the hell the groups mean. We’ll wonder even longer because Elliot Yamin sings after the break.
The Nittany Turkey says
Correction: I think Carly’s outfit is more like a waitress than a third-grade teacher.
The Redhead says
The Redhead has arrived.
I’ll read and catch up during this commercial break.
The Nittany Turkey says
Welcome, Red!
The Nittany Turkey says
Elliot has the distinction of being the ugliest guy to get to the final four on AI.
The Nittany Turkey says
Nice guy, but a neanderthal.
The Redhead says
Okay, I’ve caught up. I predict Kristy and David Cook are in the “safe” group.
I’ve never heard of this Elliot guy.
The Nittany Turkey says
His teeth were bad when he was competing. But I see he got a mouth makeover.
The Redhead says
So, Elliot was on AI at one point. To me, it sounds like he was obviously voted off early in the game.
The Nittany Turkey says
He was on Idol a couple three years back.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think the same year as Carrie Underwood won.
The Nittany Turkey says
He made it pretty far.
The Redhead says
Look at Paula, all dudetted up tonight!
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is almost inconsequential to me anymore.
The Nittany Turkey says
Syesha’s gotta be safe. She was in her elephant.
The Nittany Turkey says
Hmmmm…
The Nittany Turkey says
Where Brooke goes, the bottom three live.
The Redhead says
Here we go–Syesha. Left or right?
Hmmm. What’s up with this?
Keep quiet, Brooke.
The Redhead says
I think Seacrest will split the groups. He’s f—in with us.
The Nittany Turkey says
Archuleta is safe. Nobody in their right mind, including him, thinks otherwise.
The Nittany Turkey says
No, I disagree. I think the bottom three will be Carly, Jason, and Syesha.
The Redhead says
By your theory, Brooke will be safe…yet again???!!!
That stinks.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah. Maybe the voters saw it the same way Hal Boedecker did.
The Redhead says
I don’t understand the way people are voting.
The Redhead says
Hal’s been way off on a number of issues these days. I wonder what’s going on with him.
The Nittany Turkey says
Of course, he had Jason third.
The Redhead says
This taking calls bit doesn’t work.
The Redhead says
Maybe you can buy her a horse, Turkey.
The Nittany Turkey says
It’s a lame attempt to vary the format and get some more interest. Keep from going stale. Like the stuff Starbuck’s will do to screw up their stores.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’ll let her ride my horse.
The Redhead says
I don’t get it.
The Redhead says
I continue to defend Starbucks. They make a fine product.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula’s decollete is um…
The Redhead says
They have the question flashed up on the board…that makes a lot of sense.
The Nittany Turkey says
Mocking her is appropriate, Simon. Lame-ass question.
The Redhead says
They shouldn’t flash the question before the caller even asks it–attention starts to wander.
The Nittany Turkey says
Those are nouns, not adjectives.
The Redhead says
They could take a few lessons from the old American Bandstand.
The Nittany Turkey says
Apparently, that broad didn’t pay attention to all the biographical shit they do about each of these people if she had to ask whether David is single.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’ll give her a 97 for her chest and 85 for her legs.
The Redhead says
I wonder if Mariah is a nudist at home. She always wears as little as possible when she’s in public.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jenny says she can listen to Mariah, but she needs a new gesture…she doesn’t like the “pointing.”
The Redhead says
I bet she’s a major pain in the a–.
The Redhead says
Is Jenny visiting again this evening?
The Nittany Turkey says
No, that was her comment last night.
The Redhead says
I think her pointing thing makes it look like she’s trying to remember–or keep up with–the notes.
The Nittany Turkey says
How’d they find that cubic zirconia mike stand?
The Redhead says
I think Mariah looks great though. Madonna could take a few lessons from her.
The Nittany Turkey says
And the matching mike.
The Nittany Turkey says
Mariah just turned 40 recently, though. Madonna is older.
The Redhead says
Here we go with the histrionics.
Sheesh.
The Nittany Turkey says
How about those 8″ heels?
The Redhead says
Yeah, but Madonna exercises and starves herself to the point where she looks stringy and ragged. Mariah looks healthy and sexy. I think Madonna’s lost her sex appeal.
The Nittany Turkey says
She still cruises down on the Lower East Side and picks up young Puerto Rican boys.
The Redhead says
Plus Madonna has totally lost her sense of humor. Talk about taking oneself too seriously. She used to be fun–now she’s a major downer.
The Nittany Turkey says
I thought that was how she kept herself young.
The Redhead says
She probably needs to start that cruisin’ routine again–but first she better drop that phony British accent or she’ll be crusin’ for a bruisin.’
The Nittany Turkey says
Worked for Sammy Davis for a while.
The Nittany Turkey says
Maybe Nicole Kidman and Mel Gibson should drop the fake American accents. Hugh Laurie and Russell Crowe, too.
The Redhead says
M. may know how to keep her body young but she acts like an pretentious hag bag.
The Nittany Turkey says
She can buy herself all the Puerto Ricans she wants.
The Redhead says
Hugh Laurie just does his fake accent for his show. When Nicole and Mel speak, I can still hear their accents. Plus they don’t sound like pompous jerks (well, except Mel but that’s another story).
The Redhead says
He can’t think he’s going to the bottom three.
The Nittany Turkey says
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
The Redhead says
Duh.
The Nittany Turkey says
Big surprise.
The Redhead says
TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh…you right!
The Nittany Turkey says
They’ve done this before. He’s playing it right.
The Redhead says
Talk about putting him on the spot, Seacrest.
The Redhead says
I’m shocked that Carly is safe over Kristy.
The Nittany Turkey says
I thought Carly sucked badly enough to be in the bottom three.
The Redhead says
Then it’s got to be Brooke who is packing her bags tonight.
The Nittany Turkey says
Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke Brooke!
The Redhead says
It has GOT to be Brooke.
But if it’s not, it’s probably Syesha.
But I think it’s Brooke.
I hope.
The Nittany Turkey says
Next week will be Andrew Lloyd Webber week. So we’re in for some insipid, overplayed songs.
The Redhead says
Can’t stand ALW crap.
Let’s get ready for:
Midnight….from Cats
I Don’t Know How to Love Him from JCSS
Don’t Cry for Me Argentina from Evita.
Ick.
The Redhead says
Here we go–
Okay. Syesha is safe.
Good night Brooke.
The Nittany Turkey says
And…that one from Phantom of the Opera…Music of the Night.
The Redhead says
Will Simon call it correctly?
No way–not Kristy.
The Redhead says
Unbelievable.
The Nittany Turkey says
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit
The Nittany Turkey says
And she won’t get her horse back.
The Redhead says
That is such b–t.
The Nittany Turkey says
I will miss her.
The Redhead says
Poor kid could use some grammar lessons.
The Redhead says
I will, too. She was getting better and better. No surprises from here out now.
The Nittany Turkey says
She has been improving week to week and I think she did her best yet last night.
The Redhead says
Dumb-ass voters. Keeping Brooke instead? What a joke.
The Redhead says
Same voters who probably think Sheryl Crow is a quality performer.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’m bummed, but I’ll get over it. She’s going to sing directly to the “butt.”
The Nittany Turkey says
Lance Armstrong would agree with you.
The Redhead says
I’m beginning to think they choose the performer who sang the most fitting “farewell” song the previous night.
Now this does suck.
The Redhead says
Well, Turkey–another week of tough show biz lessons.
See you same place next Tuesday!
The Nittany Turkey says
Now it does. But we’ll see some real FLUFF next week!
The Nittany Turkey says
You got it! Goodnight, Red!