The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for Tom Bradley

“Scrap” Hired by WVU

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Tom “Scrap” Bradley, former defensive coordinator during the Paterno Era, has reached an agreement with West Virginia University and head coach Dana Holgorsen to become “senior associate head coach”. As such, he’ll work with Tony Gibson, who was recently promoted to defensive coordinator.

I’m sure the whiners will have something to say about this, like “HOW COULD HE??!?!?!” Well, hell, it’s not like Bowden or Rich Rodriguez are still coaching in Morgantown, and it’s not like they’re a regularly scheduled opponent. So, STFU! It’s not like he went to tOSU or anything!

It’s great that Bradley got a real job after languishing in the broadcast booth. He’s 57, and jobs don’t come easily for near seniors.

Said Bradley:

“I am truly excited to join the West Virginia football program. “I want to thank Coach Dana Holgorsen and Oliver Luck for this tremendous opportunity to contribute to the continued growth and success of the Mountaineer football program. Tony Gibson and I have recruited against each other in Pennsylvania for a lot of years, and it will be good to finally be on his side. I look forward to working with my friend to build a strong defensive unit at West Virginia.”

Read the article, man.

Sudden Impact: The Aftermath

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With most of us well into the acceptance phase of dealing with the reality that Penn State’s 2013 football team is mediocre, I thought I would revive Sudden Impact to take a look around the Internet for some decent articles on the Nittany Lions’ current status and future prospects. I have selected a couple of pretty rational assessments, with which you might or might not agree. You’ll also find some very good material in the comments to my previous post, where my six astute readers have posted some very keen observations and opinions.

Tom Bradley
Tom Bradley

The first point I want to hit upon is the idiotic undercurrent being bandied about by the less-than-cognoscenti, the St. Joe loyalists with blinders on: Bring Back Bradley. BBB is the stupidest, most misguided pie in the sky notion I’ve ever caught wind of in the sports world, even eclipsing the desire by desperate, misguided fans exhorting the hapless Jacksonville Jaguars to sign Tim Tebow at QB. They’re thinking with their hearts or other body parts, brains excepted. I enumerated reasons for my assessment that this is insanity in my comments to the previous post, but I’ll reproduce them here. Please curtail this lunacy!

  1. Why the hell would he ever want to return?
  2. Why the hell would O’Brien ever want him to return?
  3. People are, as usual, seeking a quick fix, a panacea — like going to Mexico in desperation for a non-FDA approved snake oil remedy for their terminal cancer. Scrap ain’t going to walk in, wave his staff, and make an awful defense anything better than the pile of offal it is.
  4. He wasn’t all that great a DC, IMHO. Never did produce a decent secondary. Was loaded with talent in the front seven, though, and we can’t say that about this team.
  5. Why bring back pieces of the contentious past? It won’t reincarnate St. Joe.
  6. The Sandusky/Bradley defensive schemes are antiquated in today’s game.
  7. Aside from all that, Scrap is a nice guy, the players love him, the alumni love him, and he deserves a warm spot in all of our hearts — but not on the sidelines.

The people who are seeking this nonsense are probably all conducting séances where they channel St. Joe and receive guidance from Him. “Hire Scrap. He’s a good kid. Good football player, too. Listen to me. You guys don’t know what you’re talking about, fer cryin’ out loud!” These are people who waste many hours fretting over how to get the Paterno statue restored to its former place of glory and his wins restored in the record book, people who would rather live in the past than to accept the penuriously personnelled present and the promise of the future, people who also think the Penn State Board of Trustees should be replaced by single-minded St. Joe loyalists who somehow know how to run a major university but whose major function will be the statue and the record.

My vitriol over the what Jethro Tull aptly titled Living in the Past notwithstanding (and not abating), I’ll move on.

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I’ve selected two articles from the veritable plethora of post-mortems following the Indiana game. I’m avoiding the obvious jokers, Flounder and Jones, because I wanted some fresh thoughts that truly reflect the state of the 2013 Nittany Lions and the import of this past weekend.

“O’Brien will never say it, but this also leads into how he must make do with questionable skill at center, right tackle, fullback, defensive end, linebacker and cornerback.” —Frank Bodani, York Daily Record

The first is a relatively brief piece entitled “Reality has arrived for undermanned Nittany Lions” by long-time Penn State football beat reporter Frank Bodani of the York Daily Record. Bodani succinctly addresses leadership problems, lack of depth, and an overall shortage of decent talent.

If Bodani’s calm rationality doesn’t bring the Sanguinarians back down to Earth, perhaps they need to change their prescriptions for happy pills. On the other hand, our next author hits us between the eyes with a two-by-four.

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Frequent contributor Joe Z. (who represents himself as just Joe in the comments, but I didn’t want you to think that I was holding séances where I sat around with a crystal ball channeling St. Joe) pointed me to a cogent piece in BSD by Cari Greene called “It’s Not the End of the World.” She offers not only a dose of reality, but also an admonishment to behave like Penn Staters, not assholes. Well, she doesn’t couch it in my profane style, so it is all the more effective. Apparently she sat next to some pro-PSU idiots in Bloomington who were hurling insults at our players and anyone else they could blame for their sorrows.

Green started out wanting to write about her experience at the game but changed her mind, writing a piece that puts the Indiana loss in perspective.

“This loss definitely sucks. But it’s nowhere near the end of the world; nor is it the worst loss in PSU history, of the 2013 season, or even, in my opinion, the worst loss in the still-fledgling Bill O’Brien era at Penn State (all arguments I’ve seen be made, whether hyperbolic or with true intentions).”

She doesn’t sugar coat anything, recognizing that there are lots of problems, but she attempts to reel in those of us at the extremes.

“I’ve heard calls for BOB to step down, for Butler to be fired for perceived ineptitude in defensive play. Two names I haven’t seen on the “FIUR HIM!” list, though, are Larry Johnson Sr and Ron Vanderlinden—and I’d argue that their units on defense have been the most underperforming and surprising (in a bad way) squads on the field—but apparently, they’ve gotten more of a benefit of the doubt. It’s highly unlikely that they’ve forgotten all of a sudden how to coach, after all—but apparently it’s easy for us to say that everyone else has.”

Wow! She said a mouthful and the LJ/Vanderlinden part of it is something I’ve harped on. These guys aren’t necessarily as good as many think they are. Yeah, LJ is loved by the players, and Vanderlinden coached some pretty damn good LBs, but let’s face it — they’re there to appease alumni, to provide a bridge to the past. They have to be a compromise for a DC, even a bad DC, who is stuck with them. It can’t be easy for Butler to be told that two key assistants are untouchables, even if their ideas are not compatible with his. Know what I mean?

Too many St. Joe loyalists do exactly what Greene states — think all the new coaches are idiots but these two vestiges of the good old days (or bad old days) are geniuses. I stated at the beginning of the season that it was time to retire LJ, Sr. Although I didn’t say anything about Vanderlinden, he has served his function and it is probably time for him to get the résumés out there.

Greene exhorts us to face the reality that Hackenberg is a freshman, so he still plays like one, but his future potential is bright.

“I choose to look forward. To see that Christian Hackenberg is learning, to expect the team (and coaching staff) to learn from their mistakes, move past these growing pains and get better, even minutely, week by week and, more importantly, year by year.”

Now, look, guys. Don’t just write this off because Cari Greene is a babe. She happens to be right about much of this stuff. I know that many Sanguinarians are also male Chauvinist pigs. C’mon, guys, make me proud. I want your comments, except those that discredit Greene’s thoughts because she never wore a jockstrap.

While some of this stuff she writes about is pretty obvious, given a couple of days to shake off the humiliation of a blowout loss, it’s still worth reading. I hope that you’re all getting back to normal out there.

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Potpourri: Colin Kaepernick has the top-selling jersey on NFLShop.com. Peyton Manning’s is second.

Also, in the NFL world, the Oakland Raiders have released demoted quarterback Matt Flynn. This solidifies former Nittany Lions Matt McGloin’s position as backup to almost Penn Stater Terrelle Pryor, who had a helluva good night last night against San Diego. Flynn started and bombed out in Week 3, after which he was demoted to third-string and McGloin moved up. I’m thinking that Buffalo, who have lost their starting and backup quarterbacks to injuries, might be a viable destination for Flynn.

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I’ll be back later in the week with my preview and prediction for the big Homecoming game with the Wolverines.

Chew on This!

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This post is about the TicketCity Bowl, but you wouldn’t know that by the title.

As I took keyboard in hand, I was thinking, “Has this Turkey bitten off more than he can chew?” Here it is, after 2 am and I’m just getting around to this writing task, which I had thought would be completed by 5 pm. What the hell was I doing painting lamp parts at 2 am, anyhow? ????? ???? ?????? No, I don’t think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I merely think I’m a damn procrastinator. Have been all my life. But I digress.

We’re all focused on January 2’s TicketCity Bowl in Dallas’ original Cotton Bowl — yep, that old dump on the Texas state fairgrounds. Thing is, they’ve completely renovated the joint and it’s now nice. The game itself pits the #19 Houston Cougars (12-1) against our mighty (and mighty beleaguered) #22 Penn State Nittany Lions (9-3), who are coming off a sickening 45-7 season ending loss to the Rose Bowl bound #16 Wisconsin Badgers. Houston also suffered a season end embarrassment, but at least they made it to the Conference USA championship game, which they embarrassingly lost to Southern Mississippi 49-28. Prior to that game, Houston was undefeated and ranked in everybody’s top ten, hoping to be the first C-USA team to be invited to a BCS bowl. I suppose they were overcockified, having been an offensive juggernaut all season, ranked first national in points produced, scoring 49 points or more six times and 48 twice going into this game, in which they produced their lowest point total of the season. The Southern Miss defense has good reason to be proud if its performance in the title game. (They went on to beat Nevada 24-17 in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl.)

Penn State has never lost to a Texas team in Texas or anywhere else, the record being 5-0-1. The last time they played in Dallas, Nittany Lions interim head coach Tom Bradley was a senior in high school (1974).

So, the big question here is, does Penn State have the defensive wherewithal to transmogrify the juggernaut into a leaky rowboat? This is one of those games that everybody goes into assuming that big, bad Penn State will easily whip the little C-USA upstarts. But in the immortal words of Lee Corso, “Not so fast!”

Case Keenum
Case Keenum

Houston is a passing team, typically running the spread offense. They ranked first in the nation in passing yards, averaging 443.8. Quarterback Case Keenum, a 6-2, 210 lb senior from Abilene led the nation in total offense, completing 71.7% of his passes for 5099 yards with 45 touchdowns and only five  interceptions for the season. He was sacked fifteen times. Typically throwing about 40 passes per game, he threw 67 times against Southern Miss, still earning a remarkable completion rate of 61.2%, with two touchdowns and two interceptions. Keenum’s super-studly receivers include seniors Tyron Carrier, with 87 receptions for 914 yards and five touchdowns, Patrick Edwards, with 79 receptions for 1,524 yards and eighteen touchdowns, and Justin Johnson, with 75 receptions for 1081 yards and eleven touchdowns.

Going out on no limb at all, for top-heavy turkeys are not good at perching, I have to say that this is an interesting match-up. Do not pooh-pooh our opponent, please, or you will have egg on your face, a foot in your mouth, and your head up your ass. Now see if you can recover from that contortion!

Penn State’s hallmark is defense, of course, for the poor Nittany Lions have no offense, unless you count Jerry Sandusky’s multiple alleged offenses. It’s going to require a helluva effort by the vaunted defense to hold Houston to a beatable point total. Think they can do it? Not so fast!

No offense. That’s right. Ranking 110th in points produced, they suck and we all know it. So no need to walk on eggs here. They suck. It doesn’t matter whether McGloin or Bolden starts at quarterback. They suck. Maybe McGloin got some sense knocked into him when his head hit the floor during the brief pugilistic episode with Curtis Drake. ??? ???? ??? ???? Maybe not. It still doesn’t matter. McGloin’s concussion could keep him out of the game completely. But suckalogically, it still doesn’t matter. Oh, and speaking of Drake, he won’t be attending the game due to “personal reasons.” He represented a significant threat when he lined up in the wildcat formation, but he ain’t going to be there. That means more predictability, and less offense. Thus more suckage.

Also not making the trip will be Shawney Kersey (“personal reasons”), Paul Jones (grades), and Derrick Thomas (grades).

Penn State is ranked #10 in total defense and #5 in passing defense, having allowed only 162.2 yards per game. They rank fifth also in passing efficiency defense, allowing an average opponent passer rating of 100.05. Thus, the key is maintaining constant pressure on Keenum via the pass rush. The defense must concentrate on stopping the pass, perhaps using frequent nickel and dime packages. Oh, yeah, they’ll be playing the Sandusky/Bradley soft zone. OMG. May the Lord have mercy on their souls! Against the run, the Nittany Lions rank 48th. Will Houston try to run against PSU because of this defensive disparity? ????? ??????? ?????? ????? I doubt it. When you’re the underdog, you do what you do best. So, Houston’s the underdog, right? Not so fast!

Nope. The little guys from the C-USA school are favored by a touchdown. Take that, big, bad Penn State! How’s that for respect by the bookies and gamblers?

Oh, and guess what? Yeah, don’t tell me — it’s another noon start! You know how good the Nittany Lions are at noon starts on the road. Better hope they don’t guzzle too much beer in Dallas is all I have to say. Hell, it’s practically a home game for Houston, a mere four hour drive north on I-45.

We’re not getting any respect from ESPN, either. The game will be televised, of course, but not on ABC, ESPN, or ESPN2. It’ll be on ESPNU, fourth in the ESPN pecking order. As for announcers, we’ll have Clay Matvick (who?) as the lead guy. Ever wondered what happened to FSU’s wonder boy Danny Kanell? I don’t know either, but he’ll be the color analyst. Finally, a familiar face, the lovely Lisa Salters will be doing the sideline reporting, probably only because of her Penn State ties. She normally doesn’t stoop to ESPNU.

Penn State is the Rodney Dangerfield of football programs.

Both teams have relatively new coaches. Tom Bradley, of course, is interim head coach for Penn State, and Tony Levine just was appointed head coach of Houston after Kevin Sumlin left the team to take on the head coaching job at Texas A&M. At this point in the pre-cap, we would usually hand you Joe Paterno’s bowl record and say, “Uh ohhhhh, sorry Houston!” But no, not this time. Penn State is 27-14-2 in bowl performances, most of them since Paterno took over as head coach, and that means that Tom Bradley has been a part of a lot of them. That’s the best we can say here.

So, there are lots of things going against the Nittany Lions.

The only possible thing that could derail Keenum aside from the PSU pass rush is his newly found penchant for frequent marital relations with his new bride. He claimed that they were both virgins when they married, and, according to reports that weren’t denied by Keenum, they’re making up for it now. So, let’s hope that he continues to get laid regularly and that his wife is insatiable. It’s PSU’s only hope!

I just looked at the BWI predictions for this game. All of the geniuses on the editorial staff pick Penn State to win. (I’m not sure about Phil Grosz, whose prediction reads PENN STATE 31, PENN STATE 28 — he must be planning in advance to predict the Blue/White game.) Furthermore, all of them have Penn State scoring at least 30 points. Which team have they been looking at all season? What have they been smoking? Make it go away, Mommy!

You know, sometimes I wonder about those guys, but lest I wonder too long — it’s already past 4 am — I’ll call this a wrap except for the part you’ve all been waiting for. Yes, folks, this is the final Official Turkey Poop Prediction for this season, which was certainly a tumultuous one. Back in September, who would have had even the slightest idea of what this season would have in store for us all — mainly off the field. Who wants to end that sort of year with a loss? No one. The gamblers think it will be one, though, with Houston favored by seven. The over/under is 56.5 as I write this on Saturday morning. Yeah, I think because of the “noon effect”, the off-field turmoil, the offensive suckage, and last, but not least, the prolific Houston offense, we’re cooked in this game. Take the over, but only because of Houston. This is not going to be pretty. Houston 38, Penn State 20.

On that sorry note, this Turkey would like to thank all my readers, even the ones who disagree with me, for all the great comments during the ups and downs of the 2011-12 season. Let us hope that the new year brings an end to all the non-football distractions, so we can get back to arguing about fun stuff. I wish all of you a happy, safe, and productive New Year!