Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
On a recent visit to her native Chicago, Artificially Sweetened grabbed a photo of Paterno’s Liquor Center. Conveniently located near Big Ten Headquarters, the Paterno family discount afforded Joe the opportunity to cheaply bolster himself with the Old Granddad anesthetic necessary for enduring extremely frustrating meetings with Jim Delany (see Skeleton in Delany’s Closet).
Because I spend so much time in there, I needed something that would ensure my comfort and put me in an appropriate mood to write the crap I spew here.
Introducing the Official Nittany Turkey Signature Model commode. (I like all the “sanitized” terms we have for a damn toilet: commode, water closet (W.C.), loo, little girls’ room, john, jane, head, goin’ to see a man about a horse, lavatory, wash room, etc., etc.) To me, though, it’s always a crapper.
I must now repair to the crappatorium for some solace. Due to recent trip to the Holy Land, I’m seriously delinquent in publishing my PSU ruminations. I’ve got a pile of stuff backed up (take that any way you want), so I don’t know whether I’ll get caught up today or not. Don’t flush the Turkey just yet!
Big thanks to Artificially Sweetened for thinking of her man in this context!
Paul Finebaum of Sports Illustrated wrote in an article entitled “Under Emmert, NCAA has sunk deeper, lost even more credibility“:
It’s a sad state of affairs in college athletics. The organization that will easily — and without a conscience — destroy a coach for not following the letter of the antediluvian rule book or take away a young man’s eligibility because of an honest mistake has literally made it up as it goes along.
Meanwhile, the man behind the curtain, Mark Emmert, smiles for the cameras in his shiny suit as his organization and its credibility and integrity seemingly go up in smoke.
Truer words were never spoken. The hypocrisy of it all!
Here’s a little thing, though. Those words were written on September 1, 2011, long before the Penn State scandal, long before news of UNC’s transgressions broke, long before the Shabazz Muhammad debacle, and long before the botched Miami investigation. But Ohio State and Cam Newton were still fresh in everyone’s minds. Tresselgate (Tattoogate) and Camgate (Newtongate).
Of course, Finebaum expressed himself from a frustrated sports reporter’s viewpoint:
Instead of being honest about the cesspool he swims in daily, Emmert’s game lately has been to run off to ESPN for another doleful defense of the indefensible — the state of college athletics.
It’s too bad Oprah quit because I can’t think of a better forum for Emmert and his crocodile tears and vapid promises.
That was then and this is now, you say? Well, you probably didn’t read this piece back then because you never thought it would be an issue for Penn State. NCAA rules violations were problems for the rest of them; Penn State stood alone at the top of the heap, unassailable and clean. But that made us a big target for the NCAA vindicators, as we know now.
So, just for laughs give it a read.
