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O Prescient One, You Suck!

Posted on September 25, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

#14 Penn State 33, Central Michigan 14

I joined the Sanguinarians® for this week’s game and look at what happened! I was summarily punished for my optimistic projection of 56-6 by a lackluster game against an opponent that was better coached but replete with inferior talent. That the Nittany Lions would win was a foregone conclusion, but after a couple of quick scores, the boys on the field seemed to lose interest, allowing the Chippies to come back and tie them at 14 until shortly before the end of the first half. Then, it took a defensive play to pull ahead 21-14. From that point, PSU added another 12 points while the Chippewas were blanked.

Jim McElwain did an excellent job of preparing his troops, who clearly were hell bent on winning this game. Kudos to the Chips! They remained committed until the end.

Clifford Inconsistent

Sean Clifford started off great, like the rest of the team. Then he, too, sank into the morass of presumed indifference. He was 8-8 at the outset, then inconsistent as hell thereafter, missing open receivers even with decent pass protection by the improving offensive line. The Clifferoo wound up 22-34 for a measly 217 yards and three touchdowns. His late game garbage time replacement, Drew Allar was similarly awful, 2-5 for 20 yards. The best thing I can say is that neither was intercepted.

Running Game A-ight

The running game looked good, but Nick Singleton had an off day, gaining only 42 yards on 12 carries. He sometimes wants to go for yards on the outside where there ain’t no blocking. That might have worked at Governor Mifflin HS, but it won’t cut it in the FBS. He has the speed to get outside, but the opportunities must be there. Singleton did manage to bust one for 21 in this game. Meanwhile, fellow freshman Kaytron Allen sparkled, with 13 carries for 111 yards and a touchdown.

Defense Notwithstanding

The defense appeared to be as disinterested as the offense, allowing 363 yards, 275 of which were against the vaunted secondary. Starting CMU quarterback Daniel Richardson was 26-45 for 235 yards and two touchdowns. The mighty Penn State front seven recorded but two sacks, however, were able to come up with two picks. The Chips added 88 yards on the ground.

Third Down Suckage

Penn State was once again in the dumper third-downswise, converting five of thirteen third-down opportunities. When the “explosive” plays are working, this doesn’t matter as much, but they weren’t, and it did. Part, if not most, of the reason for this is Clifford not hitting open receivers all too frequently.

Kicking Suckage

Kicking was abysmal, with both Jake Pinegar and Sander Sahaydak missing field goals. On Penn State’s fourth TD, Pinegar’s extra point attempt was blocked by CMU. However, Barney Amor did a respectable job punting for the Nittany Lions.

Statement Game — Yeah, Right!

Well, friends, I thought that if there was a time to make the proverbial statement to confirm the Top 20 ranking, it would be this game. Instead, lots of weaknesses remained apparent. Areas that had appeared promising suffered a backslide, and some old, unpleasant habits resurfaced. Although Sanguinarians® will dismiss this as a win being a win and will say that it is OK to have an off day when you know you’re going to win, that is bullshit rationale. If you can’t pound a lesser opponent into submission, where will the grit come from when the going gets rough? The game face must be omnipresently deployed.

Any Other Saturday Surprises?

There will certainly be a reshuffling of the Top Ten as unranked Kansas State upset #6 Oklahoma 41-34 in the biggest Sooner bust of the century. #4 Michigan had a tough time with Maryland at home, eventually prevailing 34-27. That’s another group who let their guards down against a lesser opponent; the stats were quite even. Meanwhile, it was no surprise that #3 Ohio State had little trouble with the Badgers, winning 52-21, in what has been a disappointing year for Wisconsin.

Moving to the ACC, #5 Clemson and #21 Wake Forest battled to a 51-45 OT win for the Tigers in the premier ACC matchup, while suckass #25 Miami unexpectedly lost to Middle Tennessee 45-31. In the Pac-12 #7 USC barely squeaked by the Oregon State Beavers by a field goal.

And, in the SEC #8 Kentucky had trouble with lowly Northern Illinois at home, 31-23. Hog Mania will be dampened in Fayetteville, as the #10 Razorbacks went down to Texas and came back with their corkscrew tails between their legs, bowing to #23 Texas A & M, 23-21. One more thing to mention — back in the Big 12, unranked Texas Tech edged #22 Texas 37-34.

Oklahoma and Arkansas are thus likely to be sucked out of the Top Ten. Just goes to show you that rankings in the first half of the season are worth the paper they’re written on, if not less. They typically represent pipe dreams on the part of sportswriters. Remember where the weenies ranked Notre Dame at the beginning, before two losses bounced the Irish straight to football purgatory?

Get It Together, Boys

Northwestern comes to town on Saturday; Hurricane Ian will be a factor. The Big Blow is scheduled to arrive here in Florida on Thursday and will work its way through to the northeast according to Chief Meteorologist James Franklin. I frankly don’t give a shit about whether the Nittany Lions must play in driving rain; I’m only concerned for my properties here in Florida. But what I will say is, hurricane or no, the level of play must improve regardless of what we think of our opponent.

I’ll be back mid-week with a look at Northwestern if I haven’t blown away.

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If This Simulation is Correct…

Posted on September 22, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

There Goes the Season!

Shades of Illinois 2021…

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Filed Under: Penn State Football

Chippewho?

Posted on September 21, 2022 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Central Michigan (1-2) at #14 Penn State (3-0)

Central Michigan Chippewas

Tickets are available as cheap as $19 for Penn State’s second home game of the 2022 season, as Sanguinarians®, Homies, and noonophobes have already put this contest in the win column for the now #14 Lions. Expectations are running high in the wake of the victory over a bad Auburn team. As I predicted, Sanguinarians are now starting to make their playoff plans. In view of this early optimism we fervently hope that when the bubble bursts, as it so graphically did last year, it does not leave lingering injuries.

While it is easy for the daydreaming (pipe dreaming?) fan base to look past the forthcoming two games and already be preparing for the trip to the Big House on October 15, let us hope that the team and its coaches recognize that the games with Central Michigan and Northwestern must not be overlooked. We must go 1-1 for each of the next two weeks, to use James Franklins ridiculous convention.

Penn State enters this game heavily favored, to the tune of four touchdowns, against a MAC opponent with a losing record. The Nittany Lions destroyed their previous MAC opposition, Ohio U, 46-10 in Week Two. PSU and CMU have met but once in the past, in 2005, with Penn State emerging victorious, 40-3.

The Chippewas generate lots of offense, but struggle on defense. To open the season, in a game where if the over/under was 100, you would have scored with the over, they lost to the Oklahoma State Cowboys (Big 12), 58-44. We know there’s no defense in the Big Twelve, so bear that in mind. In that conference, they focus on scoring points and seeing who remains standing after four quarters of mayhem. Then, the Chips bowed to the South Alabama Jaguars (Sun Belt) 38-24, and last week they thrashed the mighty Bucknell Bisons (Patriot) 41-0.

Last Outing

In that highly irrelevant Bucknell game, CMU dominated from start to finish, allowing only 174 total yards by its inferior opponent while racking up 529 of their own. As evidenced by the time of possession favoring the Bisons, the Chippewa scoring drives were quick and deadly — when they finally got going, which took a while. The mistake-filled first half’s only score was a late touchdown by the Chippies, who took a 7-0 lead into the locker room. They farted around until late in the third quarter, when they scored two more touchdowns. Then, they piled up 21 points against a worn out Bucknell defense in the fourth quarter. Final score 41-0. Diagnosis: mutual incompetence.

Abysmal Kicking

The first thing that stands out, other than overall incompetence, is the absolutely shitty kicking game exhibited by the Chipsters in the Bucknell game. They used two different place kickers to combine for 0-3 on field goals and 5-6 on PATs. That blows!

Otherwise

I’m too lazy to dig further into this mismatch. I’m a self-designated noonophobe, so I tend to give short shrift to these scheduling afterthoughts.

Da Wedda

Fall is here and we’re getting fall weather in Happy Valley. The forecast high for Saturday is 65, with some fog in the morning. Looks like great fall football weather!

Da Bottom Line

Now it’s time for the Nittany Turkey’s Official Turkey Poop Prediction, a dubious weekly feature of this blog. I know you are filled with wonderment over how inaccurate this foul old fowl can be in predicting games for which all of you mind-betters know the outcome (or will say you did ex post facto).

Whither, then, goest Penn State? Forsooth, a win, a palpable win! Yea, verily, the Turkey is predicting a win. But by a veritable mile or by a mouse who squeaketh? (Enough pseudo-Shakespearean bullshit — let’s get on with it!). Penn State favored by 28 with an over/under of 63, which works out to a narrow victory to the tune of PSU 45, CMU 17. But CMU cannot kick field goals, and I think they have only a chance of a late TD when facing the clean jerseys. I’m going with Penn State big. Penn State 56, CMU 6. (That’s a TD with a missed extra point by CMU, not two field goals). Penn State covers, but because it’s right on the mark, I’m staying off the o/u.

I’ll be back after this momentous showdown at high noon to brag about how incorrect my prediction was. Or not.

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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