The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Make It White

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Washington (5-4, 3-3 Big Ten) vs. Penn State (7-1, 4-1)

Washington Huskies

Just like the Gatorade Douse spontaneously invented by the NFL N.Y. Giants’ Harry Carson and Lawrence Taylor* to congratulate coach Bill Parcells became an obligatory gesture to be conducted ad nauseam, so the annual White Out, invented by Penn State’s former branding officer Guido D’Elia, has evolved from novelty to routine occurrence. White Out games are chosen before the start of the season, typically involving a key match-up in prime time. Well, this year, the geniuses in Penn State Athletic Marketing decided on the Washington game as the White Out, because after all, the Huskies had competed in the Still Somewhat Mythical National Championship Game (SSMNC) against Michigan last year. The only thing is, they lost their head coach, their star quarterback, and most of their players, so what Penn State will face in the so-called prime match-up of the season will be a mere shadow of last year’s overachievers.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a game to be taken lightly, particularly in the shadow of the humiliating loss to tOSU. The letdown of that loss will certainly affect the attitudes and energy of the Nittany Lions in this prime-time game, scheduled for 8:00 PM kickoff on Saturday, November 9. So, they’ll need the energy added by the home crowd.

Who We Face

Washington has lost three out of its most recent five games, to Rutgers, Iowa, and Indiana, all road games. But they beat Michigan and USC at home in Washington. Last week’s game against USC was the first where their vaunted pass defense was tested. USC had 293 yards passing versus 166 rushing. I ran across that stat just as I was starting to worry about the Huskies’ #2 ranked pass defense.

Without going into great analytical detail, I will opine that this game will not be a walkover for Penn State. They’ll be fighting that post traumatic haze and their penchant for slow starts. The “white out energy” will add some necessary adrenalin. Very necessary. In fact, I can see this one being a lot closer than it looks on paper, and it is likely that Franklin and the boys will not cover the spread. ESPN’s Matchup Predictor gives Penn State an 87.3% chance to win. We’ll see about that. This year, Penn State has made close games far too interesting.

Da Wedda

It’ll be about the same as last week, with a few extra clouds of gloom hanging over the Nittany Lions. High is forecast at 57 and low at 36. At kickoff time, it will be in the 40s, and no rain or wind will ruin the show. So, advantage, no one.

Da Bottom Line

After last week’s loss took some of the wind out of my sails, I half-heartedly arrive at the section of this article commonly known as the Official Turkey Poop Prognostication, in which this foul old fowl blows some more wind about how he thinks the game will go. Jenny and I will be enjoying steaks from Jackstand’s Big Green Egg, which I predict will be more exciting than the game. I just hope that the game doesn’t give me too much heartburn.

The line on the game is PSU minus thirteen, with an over/under of 46.5. This works out to an expected result of 30-17, Penn State. Those slow starters are liable to give us yet another coronary, going to the locker room with a 10-7 deficit. Then, they’ll snap out of it and win the second half, but not without getting a heap of resistance from the Huskies. They won’t cover the spread, but they’ll score just enough to win by a decent margin. Penn State 27, Washington 17. I’m taking the under again.

I’ll be back on Sunday with a recap and a few de bons mots.

*Although the Gatorade Douse was the brainchild of Carson and Taylor’s teammate Jim Burt, as confirmed in Carson’s book, “Point of Attack: The Defense Strikes Back”, the act is popularly attributed to the better known Carson and Taylor.

Pwned Again by tOSU

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#4 Ohio State 20, #3 Penn State 13

Despite a valiant effort by Drew Allar, who has not yet completely recovered from the injury he suffered in the Wisconsin game, the Nittany Lions’ offense failed to score a touchdown in their 20-13 loss to the Buckeyes on Saturday. They blew a 10-0 first quarter lead, trailing 14-10 at halftime. Seven of those early points were scored in conjunction with a pick six. The Lions were able to add only a field goal during the remainder of the game.

Red Zone Woes

Each trip to the red zone met with fierce resistance from the tOSU defense, but none of them hurt as much as the fourth quarter drive set up by a 31-yard completion to Tyler Warren. Surely, they would be able to tie the game then, but they screwed it up. With a first-and-ten from the three-yard line, Penn State could not score. After three inside handoffs to Kaytron Allen, they tried a desperate pass play. Tyler Warren was the intended target, but by the time the play developed, the Buckeyes had locked him down with double coverage. Allar took a shot at Khalil Dinkins in the congested end zone and failed, turning the ball over on downs at the one with 4:40 left on the clock.

Against a tired PSU defense, Will Howard ran down the clock, sealing the victory.

Dumbass Penalties

Penn State made some bone-headed errors, including two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. Jaylen Reed took off his helmet while still on the field, but that penalty came after Penn State’s defensive touchdown, so it did not hurt us badly. On the other hand, Elliot Washington’s shitty on-field behavior converted a defensive stop that gave OSU a fourth-and-four from their own 45 yard-line into a touchdown drive starting with first-and-ten from the Penn State 47. Franklin insinuated that it was a shitty call, but he needs to take responsibility for allowing the young asshole to behave in a juvenile manner in a crucial game. If Washington had acted like a human being instead of a gang-banger, Franklin would have no judgment call to dispute.

Washington’s penalty cost us the game. Not only did it give the ball back to Ohio State after the failed third-down conversion, but also, it handed Big Mo over to the Buckeyes. Franklin did not pull him from the game, either. Intensity in a big game is one thing, like Abdul Carter jumping offside trying to time a snap and giving OSU a first down gift. But stupid-shit celebrations and balls-in-yo-face asshole moves are not what elite teams do. As St. Joe Paterno used to say, “Act like you’ve been there before.”

Yeah, that Washington penalty is one I won’t be forgetting. I’m an old fart who believes in good sportsmanship, which is obviously something that isn’t practiced much anymore. When I see poor sportsmanship exhibited by other teams, it annoys the hell out of me; when I see it exhibited by Penn State, it makes me angry and sick.

Wrapping it Up

All I can say is that I believe Drew Allar gave all he had in a losing effort. The defense, although it gave up 358 yards, kept Penn State in the game, while the offense continually let us all down. Penn State, although possessing less talent, had several chances to win this thing, but squandered all of them. I’ll stop short of blaming Andy Kotelnicki, but there are some issues on his watch in need of correction, including communicating with the quarterback at crucial times, as Allar brought out in his post-game press conference. And Tom Allen needs to impose some discipline on his guys. That bush league shit loses games.

How irate can I be if I counted this one as a loss from before the start of the season straight on through? As late as last Wednesday, I was still predicting the loss. After the opening drive I felt some optimism, which was dampened by their inability to put the ball in the end zone. Then, that pick-six should have been a pivotal play that cemented our dominance, but it was the end. After that, tOSU shut down our offense, and they did what they needed to do to win. And that sucked. The glimmer of hope evaporated and we all went home pissed off.

The silver lining is that Penn State will likely be ranked more realistically than the ridiculous #3 when the first CFP rankings are released.

I’ll be back mid-week for a look at Washington.

From Bucky to Brutus

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#4 Ohio State vs. #3 Penn State for All the Football Marbles

Ohio State

The #4 Ohio State Buckeyes (6-1, 3-1 Big Ten) travel to the unfriendly confines of Beaver Stadium on Saturday to square off with the #3 Penn State Nittany Lions (7-0, 4-0). Kickoff, much to the chagrin of grumbling fans who think these teams deserve prime time, is 12:00 Noon. Crews from both ESPN College Gameday and Fox’s Big Noon Kickoff will broadcast live from University Park to hype the showdown.

It won’t be a “White Out”. Instead, it will be an overhyped circus. James Franklin is once again calling for fans to bring “white out energy”. I’ll be watching at home, where white out energy is only possible if I stick my finger in a light socket.

The Ohio State game is always a big deal. In a 2015 post on this blog, I recount one game in the series from sixty years ago, a game I will never forget. Those of you who were not around back then will appreciate the connection with the past.

Circle Jerks

Yes, indeed, sports fans. We have reached the point in the Penn State season where there is a big red circle on the mythical calendar, because hack sportswriters have long told us to draw it there. From season’s outset, even the most sanguine of what we here at The Turkey call The SanguinariansTM were begrudgingly counting the circled date as a loss. “Well,” they sighed, “we can still make the playoffs at 11-1.”

Why the premature concession speech when the campaign had not yet even begun? You all know the answer to that. Ohio State pwns Penn State in the Franklin Era. Since 2014, the Buckeyes have dominated the series, winning nine games out of ten. The Lions have not won in seven years. Can the supposedly #3 Nittany Lions get that monkey off their backs this year?

Another Cliche: The Injury Bug

Before the both teams suffered some crucial injuries, the answer to that question was a resounding “no”. Now, the picture is now clouded by injury related uncertainty. Penn State has key injuries at quarterback and defensive line, while Ohio State’s offensive line is questionable, damn near enabling a win for Nebraska last week. The Bucks came from behind to pull that one out, 21-17.

Does either team have a legitimate claim to a Top Five ranking? Both had a weak non-conference schedule. Ohio State waltzed through theirs, while Penn State struggled with the likes of Bowling Green. In conference games, Brutus lost to #1 Oregon by a single point, and scored more points on Iowa than anyone else this year. I suppose the Nittany Lions’ best conference win was over USC, a 33-30 overtime win on the road. But USC is 2-4 in the Big Ten, even losing to 1-4 Maryland. Last week, they came from behind to beat Wisconsin, who earlier lost to Alabama and USC. The win at Camp Randall did not prove anything, and was costly due to the injuries sustained there.

Slow, Shitty Starts

An annoying habit that has plagued PSU all year, and thinking back, for many years, is the slow start. Although this contest will be staged before a raucous, friendly, home crowd at Beaver Stadium, kickoff time is at noon. Hell, they just showed that even a prime-time kickoff time does not prevent a slow start. Only thing is, Wisconsin is one thing and Ohio State is another. A slow start against the Schmuckeyes will be the kiss of death. Why dig a hole like that hoping to come back in the third quarter?

The difference for Penn State this year has been the innovative offense designed by first-year OC Andy Kotelnicki, especially his use of talented tight end Tyler Warren. On the other hand, Ohio State defensive coordinator Jim Knowles is no fool. He will try to neutralize Warren as well as the Penn State running game, leaving whoever plays quarterback for Penn State to throw to a collection of average receivers. And who, pray tell, will be the PSU quarterback?

Who’s on First?

Beau Pribula took over in the third quarter last week to secure the win over Wisconsin. Starter Drew Allar’s status is uncertain. Due to the Incident at Wounded Knee, Allar’s mobility and throwing accuracy will be compromised if he starts. Pribula is less of a threat to throw the deep pass, but he can run like a gazelle. Due to James Franklin’s penchant for keeping injury information close to the vest, Knowles will need to prepare for either or both of the Penn State quarterbacks.

Our Opponents Exposed, Indecently

As usual, Ohio State has some decent receivers, and senior quarterback Will Howard is serviceable at the position, although not up to the same par as several recent tOSU signal callers. Thus far, his completion percentage is 74% for 1,795 yards, with seventeen touchdowns and four interceptions. His primary target is a freshman, already, but a damn good one. Jeremiah Smith averages 17.8 yards per receptions and has eight touchdowns. Next in the rotation is senior Emeka Egbuka, who averages 12.7 yards per reception.

The Buckeyes’ running game is solid, although the offensive line will have much to say about that this week. Quinshon Judkins averages 6.4 yards per carry with six touchdowns; coming out of the backfield as a receiver he averages 9.5 yards and scored one touchdown thus far.

I am thinking that although the Bucks have reasonably good talent and depth this year, overall, they are inferior to teams Ryan Day has put together in recent years. They rank #22 in passing offense and #35 in rushing offense. Defensively, in passing yards allowed, they rank 8th, and in rushing yards allowed, they rank 6th.

If I Were Ryan Day…

If I were Ryan Day… Hell, if I were Ryan Day, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this sophomoric drivel. I’d be coaching football. The same applies to other hack sportswriters who feel that they can second-guess guys who earn the big bucks to take on the heavy responsibility of coaching a big money college football program. So, I won’t be telling you what Ryan Day is going to do. All I am going to say is that I think we are in for an entertaining early afternoon, matching two teams that do not deserve to be ranked where they are, but will have what the bullshitters call “playoff implications” as well as giving the winner an inside track to the Big Ten title game in Indianapolis, for what that is worth. Far too much emphasis is put on both, but to me, either means more games to watch. How about Penn State vs. Indiana for the B10 championship? Huh? Huh? Say what?

And so, the 90th “game of the year” (toned down from “game of the century”) is upon us. Before 4:00 pm on Saturday, we will know for whom the bell tolls. Will the Nittany Lions start slow and blow it once again before a high-energy, not a real white-out, but with white-out energy crowd? (That’s another damn cliche that has gone way too far). Will Ohio State’s talent advantage prove too much for the Penn State? Will James Franklin break his long drought and prevail? In the words of a non-commital parent, “We’ll see.”

Da Wedda

State College based AccuWeather has forecast mostly sunny and a great afternoon for football, with a high of 57 and a low of 35. No rain and negligible wind. Advantage, no one. Advantage, everyone.

Da Bottom Line.

Questions abound as I try to sort out a reasonable position in this edition of the Official Turkey Poop Prediction, the awful offal issued straight from the cloaca of this foul old fowl. I hate to hedge by considering every conceivable contingency, so I will just cut to the chase, making the assumption that Beau Pribula will start at quarterback and Ohio State will find a solution to its offensive line problems.

The rampant uncertainty has narrowed the spread to tOSU — 3.5, with an over/under of 45.5. This works out to a 25-21 win by tOSU. Try as they will, coming from behind in the second half, a nasty habit of Penn State’s, will not work against the Schmuckeyes. I would love to be wrong here and see a decent effort for sixty minutes, but I can not negate history saying otherwise. Still, I wish Beau and Company a great game. Ohio State 27, Penn State 17. I’m taking the under.

I’ll be back after the game. I’ll tap out my recap while watching Georgia annihilate the Gators.