The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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WSJ: How Penn State Football Survived

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Great story in the Wall Street Journal, which I hope you all can read without having a subscription. I never know how long and how much of articles they leave open to public viewing there. This is an excerpt from a forthcoming John U. Bacon book with a lot of nitty-gritty details about life in the B1G. When last I looked, it was a top trending story in the WSJ.

To write his book “Fourth and Long: The Fight for the Soul of College Football,” author John U. Bacon embedded himself with four Big Ten programs—Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan and Northwestern—in search of the sport’s old ideals as it is roiled by money, greed and scandal. In this excerpt, he offers a behind-the-scenes look at how Penn State’s team reacted to the Jerry Sandusky sex-abuse scandal last year.

Here is an excerpt from his excerpt, which will definitely suck you in. In response to the NCAA edict that allowed players to hop off Penn State for other schools, O’Brien had made a decision to impose a deadline of August 1, by which time players had to either agree to stay or go. But the two Mikes, Mauti and Zordich, opposed that plan.

“I’m thinking, Aug. 1?” Zordich said. “That’s one week. This dude’s got (guts).”

Zordich soon proved he had some guts, too. After initially agreeing, he said: “I don’t think that’s a good idea. The players here don’t know you well enough yet.”

As soon as Zordich said it, Mauti decided his teammate was right, and they explained why. They believed the more players got to know O’Brien and his program—which they viewed as a long-overdue step toward the future—the more likely they would stay.

And second, if O’Brien threatened them with a deadline, it might incite a rush to the doors. “You say, ‘Now or never,'” Zordich said, “you’re going to lose a lot of guys. They’ll get scared.”

“And make an irrational decision,” Mauti added. “If we’ve got a deadline, word’s going to get out to (opposing) coaches, and (players’) phones are going to blow up all over again the night before the deadline.”

At that moment, Zordich and Mauti might have been the only college football players in the country with the temerity to question the decision of their head coach. And O’Brien might have been the only college-football coach willing to listen.

After scanning their faces one more time, O’Brien started nodding. “OK,” he finally said. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

You’ve got to read this! Here’s the link.

 

Vitreous Humor

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This is for my friend Todd, a fellow PSU football blogger who is also an ophthalmologist in his spare time. In connection with my prior post, he had noted that while there existed a surfeit of colonic humor, there was a dearth of eye (vitreous) humor. To remedy that sad situation, I hereby present this very old bit of vitreous humor.

So, Dr. Bernstein enters the exam room and finds an older woman sitting there. He points to the eye chart on the wall and asks her to read the third line.

“I can’t,” she says.

So, he moves his pointer up a line and asks her again.

“I can’t read it,” she says.

He points to the top line and she still can’t read it. He then excuses himself and returns shortly with a bigger eye chart. He holds it a couple of feet from her.

“Try to read the top line,” he says. “I’ll give you a clue. It looks like an ‘E’.”

“Oy, no, I still can’t read it!” she insisted.

So in his frustration, the doctor thinks for a minute and then unzips his pants and pulls out his unit. Standing right in front of the woman, he asks her, “So, this you SEE, already, lady?”

“That’s disgusting, doctor! Of course I see it!” the woman retorted, revulsed.

“I figured!” exclaimed the doctor. “You’re cockeyed!”

No Way!

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Zayd Issah won’t be playing for the Nittany Lions. The vaunted recruit got his ass thrown in jail on Saturday as four cops were necessary to subdue the in-yo-face 6’4″ 200 lb linebacker. He has been charged with aggravated assault, resisting arrest, and having a personal stash of pot.

Recall that this is the same dude who was previously embroiled in a counterfeiting case that sort of put him on his best behavior if he wanted to come to Penn State. You know, like that Big Mac on which he spent the bogus bill was that important, right? Moron.

So, give the guy another chance and what does he do? Shows his true colors. He gets into a fight with some folks and then when a cop grabs him by the wrist, he goes nuclear. Two of the four cops sustained minor injuries. The pot find was incidental to the rest of the charges, discovered when they searched the thug.

Issah will get what he deserved. Bye, bye college career. No way the NFL would ever touch him, anyway. They don’t want another Aaron Hernandez running around making them look bad.

A bail hearing this morning allowed his parents to post $2,000 of the required $20,000 bond to get him out of the slammer, they did this with the help of bail bond service called Connecticut Bail Bonds Group and if they do, he’ll go home with them to H-burg. Issah had been in a probationary program for first-time offenders after the counterfeit fiasco. Now, the Dauphin County district attorney says he’ll file documents to remove the moron from the program, which means he’ll face felony charges for that past “mistake”.

Bill O’Brien stated that after Saturday’s incident, if the charges hold, the football program is no longer interested in Issah. I think that’s a foregone conclusion.