The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Fuhgeddaboutit!

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Perhaps you read or heard that vaunted Maryland quarterback Danny O’Brien (no relation to the Nittany Lions’ head coach) was considering transferring to Penn State. On Monday, he attended a spring practice in Happy Valley. Well, he’s made his decision, which was doubly unfavorable for the  Lions. He’s going to play for Wisconsin, so he’ll be playing against PSU one game in each of his two remaining years of eligibility.

Brett Bielema, Badgers’ head coach, did not promise O’Brien a starting role. However, with the departure of starting quarterback Russell Wilson, there is certainly an opportunity for O’Brien to impress and attain.

At Penn State, as you know, the quarterback situation has been a mess for the past two seasons, and there is nothing on the horizon to suggest that it won’t be a mess again this season. Bill O’Brien has said that he possibly won’t announce a starter until just before the Ohio game, which is the first game of the 2012 season. The head coach, whose last quarterback was Michigan product Tom Brady, will allow three familiar players to compete for the starting job: Rob Bolden, Paul Jones, and Matt McGloin.

Danny O’Brien will have to beat out only two players at Wisconsin, both freshmen. With two years experience gained at Maryland, O’Brien seems a shoo-in for the starting job.

Having graduated at Maryland in three years, O’Brien has two remaining years of football eligibility.

Another good one slips away.

Spliffs, Mon!

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This Turkey dives back into the Penn State football blogosphere with the latest in drug busts or at least a preliminary finding relating to an eventual bust.

According to the Collegian, the apartment of Devon Smith and Jack Crawford was entered by a police officer in connection with the investigation of a reported break-in. Upon entry, the cop found a Mary Jane grinder, a scale, and “multiple blunts in an ash tray.”

That find was good enough for the DA’s office to ask for a search warrant. When police executed the warrant, they seized “multiple blunts, a bottle of liquor, a grinder, a scale, a plastic bag with suspected marijuana, and prescription drugs.”

Neither Smith nor Crawford have yet been charged.

Devon (pronounce it DEE-von) Smith is a wide receiver. Crawford, a defensive end in 2009-2011 seasons, is presently awaiting the NFL Draft next month.

There was no indication of the quantities of pot involved says White Sands, or whether it appeared that selling the somehow still illegal drug was suspected.

What this Turkey thinks is ridiculous is that one of the residents of an on-campus apartment would call the police to report a break-in without cleaning up the dope. Are these guys complete idiots, or what? Or perhaps someone else, who might not be their BFF called the cops, knowing what they would find there.

The Collegiate article was unclear about whether the cops were let in the first time or got in at the behest of the apartment superintendent. Enquiring minds want to know.

More details from yet another minor, but embarrassing off-field incident as they emerge, unless they’re downright stupid.

The Turkey Returns

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He’s back, after a near-death experience.

This blog has been comatose, for which I apologize. ???? ????? I’m here to explain why and what we intend to do about it.

Until recently, I had been involved in negotiations for the sale of the nittanyturkey.com domain, this blog, and all of its past content. Those negotiations have broken down, and this Turkey is happy. The price was reasonable for the buyer, and it was flattering to me that someone thought my work was worth five figures. ?????? ?????? However, eventually, I felt that the Nittany Turkey was worth far more to me than it was to the purchaser.

Not only were they wanting all the rights to the domain name, the blog, and its contents, but also they understandably wanted me to curtail my use of the name Nittany Turkey, in Twitter, Facebook, and wherever. However, from my perspective, I am the Nittany Turkey, and have been since I developed the concept in the 1980s.

Furthermore, I was to refrain from using any of the content that I had produced through the years. You all know how much I love to reach back and pat myself on the back (occasionally) or kick myself in the butt (frequently). Who else could possibly produce the Official Turkey Poop Predictions?

I wanted to write, but I did not feel the need to write if my work was going to appear in another form or disappear completely; hence, the hiatus.

For me, writing is enjoyable and therapeutic. ????? ?????? I need a vehicle where I can express my thoughts and share them with like-minded individuals, as well as those with contrasting views. Facebook is fine for bitching about the travails of daily life, re-posting articles from elsewhere as conversation fodder, and getting into political arguments, but I still need a place of my own I can call home and write whatever the hell I please. (Having been “unfriended” recently with great ceremony on Facebook over some of my finer sarcasm by someone whom I thought was a friend underscores that need, but I digress.)  To establish a new blog, traveling through all the stages between infancy and adulthood would require a significantly outlay of time, energy, frustration, and last and probably least, money.

It is time that is the real issue — not in the sense of pecuniary compensation for its expenditure, but instead its quality as the universal equalizer. It is the one thing of which nothing and no one short of miracle cures and assassins can give us more or less. We all have what we have. At my age, I have far less of it than I had when I was 25, when I would have undoubtedly jumped at the offer to buy the blog. It just did not make sense to me to start over.

This sounds a bit egocentric, and indeed it is. I and the Nittany Turkey are intertwined like gray paint and navy ships. Given all that has happened at Penn State over the past year or so, I’m doing my share to provide some constancy in a rapidly changing Lionosphere. While I’m not narcissistic enough to think that the world would shun the Nittany Turkey if I were not at its helm or would miss it if it did not exist, making believe that those notions are at least somewhat true is what keeps me going on.

In addition to my focus on Penn State football, which is almost upon us once again, we have an important presidential election coming up, and the sitting White House is pulling out all stops to maintain its power. In the resurrected personage of the Mouse Who Ate Xanax, I will undoubtedly be writing about that and other political issues as we march on to the November showdown. Other popular topics of the past, such as Medicare and the AARP will be reprised in these pages from time to time as well, and I’ll devote more time to humor, which we all need to get through this hectic postmodern life of ours. Who knows? Maybe I’ll do another “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” series, starring the Cupcake. (I’d like to take her to visit some colleges this summer, between her junior and senior years in high school.)

I thank you all for your patience during my lengthy hiatus. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise after all of the sordid and tragic events of the fall and winter at Penn State. I do miss Joe, and I still believe that Beaver Stadium should bear his name as well as Colonel Beaver’s. We’ll no doubt be talking about that, too.