The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Search This Site

Enter keyword(s) below to search for relevant articles.

Home Archives for Sports Penn State Football

Ben’s Been Lazy

Posted on Written by

I write a blog. I have no deadlines, no editor, no constant pressure to write, and no one on my ass. I write when I feel like it, which is the best sort of situation possible.

However, I’m lazy and I’m a procrastinator. I have a veritable plethora of distractions and I know how to use them. Didn’t the kitchen sink need scouring?

My blog serves two purposes. First, relaxation therapy for me. I love to write. I love to read my own words. I’m a neologist, a bombasterator, and an etymonarcissist. Occasionally, I add content to the words, which makes me even happier. The second purpose of my blog is to share information. When I write silly stuff like this, I’m not really sharing information. Furthermore, if I write drivel or worse, nothing, no one will come here to read my words, just on the off chance that they convey something meaningful. I am really falling down on the job.

I’ve castigated myself for non-performance in prior years’ football off-seasons. It seems to do no good. I have to rebuild my clientele every fall when football interest picks up. Every year I lose a few more because people rightly don’t have the time to read drivel when there are so many good and informative Penn State football blogs on the Internet. Look at Black Shoes Diaries or Linebacker U, to name just two. They’re not slacking off for the summer; they provide excellent information on- and off- season. Thus, they retain many of their hard core devotees during the summer.

Sandra Friend, who writes several blogs about hiking and outdoor life in Florida, has been traveling around the world and is always working on and publishing new books, yet her blogs continue to be regularly supplied with new content and don’t seem to miss a beat. Frankly, I don’t know how she does it all. But she does it, and she does it well.

Not this Turkey. Bad Turkey. This Turkey trots when he feels like it and for five months, he’s barely felt like it. I usually don’t post something for the gratuitous sake of having something to post, but today I have done so. Has it assuaged my guilt? Would that I could tell you.

And now the news:

Osama bin Laden is dead. Just in case you didn’t know it, you know it now. Discovery Channel is showing us all how it happened tonight at 10.

Jim Tressell still has his job at Ohio State, though it’s anyone’s guess as to why, in the wake of Tattoogate.

Prince William took a bride, a commoner. Now, Waity Katy gets to walk three steps behind Will in public. What a life.

Syria looks like the latest Muslim country to degenerate into civil unrest.

Joe Paterno walked out of a Big Ten press conference without answering any questions, leaving a couple of first year assistants to the press wolves.

The McCabe Sisters are still, as a unit, better than the Penn State offensive line.

The Big Ten’ll get you Twelve will still have two divisions inanely named Leaders and Legends for the forthcoming season.

Ashton Kutcher will replace chronic malcontent Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. How is he going to maintain the show’s edge? Date a different cougar every month?

This Turkey no longer cares about American Idol, but is rooting for Hines Ward on Dancing With the Stars, which he has never seen.

The beleaguered Pittsburgh Penguins were drummed out of the first round of the playoffs. But it’s a wonder that they got so far without Crosby, Malkin, Staal, and Cooke for much of the season.

The same Penguins have been ruminating about reviving aging Czech star Jaromir Jagr. Last year they picked up Alex Kovalev, another former Pen star. Their combined age is 77.

The Pittsburgh Pirates were above .500 for one day.

Jenny got a dog. She’s a well behaved but shy cutie named Shyanne.

President Obama says he will allow oil drilling in the Gulf and Alaska Reserves. OMG, did he join the John Birch Society or something?

AT&T is trying to acquire the U.S. operations of T-Mobile, creating an oligopolistic market for cellular communications. Bad for the consumer. Very bad. (Next move would be for Verizon to acquire Sprint. Check and checkmate.)

Republican members of congress are threatening to block an increase in the debt ceiling. They ought to do more — like stopping runaway spending by both parties.

Japan’s Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant likely suffered a core meltdown. We don’t know for certain, but we’ll be able to tell you better in 2.187 x 107 years or so.

 

I think I’ve covered enough to make this an official post. Right?

Fun With Ohio State Coaches

Posted on Written by

By this time everyone is well aware of the deep doodoo Jim Tressel is in at Ohio State for having swept information about Tattoogate under the rug for at least six months before the story broke. The NCAA has come down hard on Tressel, but we’ll have to see how the administration at tOSU treats this mess. This Turkey thinks Tressel ought to be given his walking papers.

Tressel’s malfeasance brings back old memories of another Ohio State head coach — a legendary one at that — who was forced to retire shortly after punching a Clemson player who had just intercepted an OSU pass with the clock winding down and with Clemson ahead by two. It was 1978, and the scene was the old Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida. Have a look!

Overtraining Has Its Price

Posted on Written by

The price paid by a dozen members of the Iowa Hawkeyes football team is a serious medical condition called rhabdomyolysis, which is a breakdown of muscle tissues that results in overloading the kidneys to the extent that they can be damaged severely. This is the same syndrome experienced by a small percentage of people who take statin drugs for control of serum cholesterol, the muscle cramps and weakness that you read about in the fine print in the information insert or hear about on the TV ad triple-tongued voice-over. But seriously, this is a bad situation. One player noted on Facebook that his urine had turned brown, which is one major symptom of rhabdo. Others started throwing up profusely. They’re all in the hospital being treated now, and they are said to be stable and recovering, but the university is pretty much stonewalling the whole thing. Coach Kirk Ferentz, who was out of town recruiting, was apprised of the situation and pledges to get to the bottom of it.

At what point does training go too far? Not long ago at UCF here in Orlando, a player named Eric Plancher died during a practice on a hot day. He was known to have the sickle cell trait. Last year, former Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez came under fire for violating the NCAA maximum hours of practice per week.  What’s this all about? We’re all worried about concussions on the field, but some of the stuff that goes on in practice negatively affects the health of arguably more players. Presumably, schools competing at the highest level of college ball have exercise physiologists, physiatrists, and other medical personnel adding their input about intensity of practice. However, this Turkey has to wonder just how much the coaches abide by the doc’s recommendation. Pressure to succeed on the field means lots of money, and it comes at a correspondingly high price in human toil.

You can read more about this in the Washington Post’s article (but not much more, because the university is stonewalling it).