The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Big Al’s Nightmare

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Moo U. 27, Penn State 24

On a rainy day in East Lansing, the #19 Moo U. Spartans (7-2, 5-1 Big Ten) recaptured the abominable Land Grant Trophy from the #7 Penn State Nittany Lions (7-2, 4-2 Big Ten), 27-24. [Read more…]

The Role of Spoilers

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Land Grant Trophy
Land Grant Trophy, which is awarded to the winner of the formerly annual Michigan State vs. Penn State football game.

Michigan State (hereinafter referred to as Moo U.) have long relished the role of spoiler when it doesn’t have what it takes to go to the big bowls or the playoffs. In this all-important competition for the vaunted Land Grant Trophy (right), the #24 Moo U. Spartans (6-2, 4-1 B1G), presently tied for second in the Big Ten East, host the #7 Penn State Nittany Lions (7-1, 4-1).

Moo U. is coming off a dramatic triple-overtime loss to Northwestern, 37-31, whereas Penn State suffered its first defeat of the season last week in Columbus to a well rested bunch of Buckeyes, 39-38. [Read more…]

The Return of Sphincterball

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tOSU 39, PSU 38

We thought that the old sphincterball routine had died with St. Joe, but as if to say that old habits die hard, we saw it again on Saturday night. We last saw it in the Rose Bowl against USC. When are they going to learn that playing cement booty conservative late in the fourth quarter, even in a two-possession game, can be fatal against an opponent with a potent offense?

You might recall that the term “full sphincter mode” was probably developed by David Jones of the Harrisburg Patriot-News to describe Joe Paterno’s strategy of playing ultra-conservatively when sitting on a lead. It was said at the time that if Old Joe was to put a lump of coal in his rectum, he could shit out a diamond in ten seconds flat. This game brought back diamond-studded memories, lemme tellya! [Read more…]