This is the final week of American Idol for 2007, and I’m glad. Two contestants remain, Jordin and Blake, one of whom will be our next American Idol. This means that I won’t have this lame-ass stuff to write about anymore. Furthermore, I lament that there will be no more ongoing comment narrative between The Redhead and me about this show after this week for the remainder of the year. I think it is good that we’re not subjected to AI 52 weeks a year. I get more than my fill of their vacuous crap for the five months out of the year the damn thing is producing new material. But I digress.
The Redhead informs me that Paula Abdul broke her nose tripping over her Chihuahua named “Tulip.” The ever entertaining judges, superfluous at this stage of the competition, continue to provide twists and turns. Yeah, they’re part of the entertainment package. Paula will be lovely with her nose in a sling.
So, our two musical babes in the woods will square off tonight for the final sing-off. Jordin will try to avoid taking unnecessary risks, for if she plays it straight, she’ll win this thing. Blake, who has practiced musical risk-taking as if it were a martial art, would be best advised to reel it in. The beatbox crapola might have gotten him here, but it won’t put him over the top. It might just torpedo his ass and sink his ship.
Jordin is certain to have good career choices ahead of her, win or lose. For Blake, the path forward is uncertain. His voice is pedestrian and the gimmicks get old over time. (But look what Bob Dylan did with a pedestrian voice and a gimmick—although I doubt that Blake, who has nothing “important” to say, will ever challenge Herr Zimmerman’s hyped role as “the voice of a generation.”)
So, with everything on the line, they’ll sing their hearts out and they’ll sing their asses off (in Jordin’s case, that would be a shame), and America will vote. Twenty-five hours of buzzing phone lines and water cooler debates later, we’ll get the happy news.
Indeed, we’ll have to wait until Wednesday night’s boring, two-hour extravaganza to see how “America voted.” And we’ll wait quite a while. Two hours of fluff awaits us, including The Dreaded Return of Sanjaya (accompanied by the welcome Legs of Haley). We’ll have monotonous surprises to break the monotony of waiting. Old Idols, old almost-Idols, and never-was, wannabe idols will appear, the last category being a sardonically comedic display of the talentless. This stew will be peppered by commercial advertising by the two prime sponsors, Ford and Coca-Cola, along with countless minutes of promotions for Fox’s summer line-up. All of this to get us to the final five minutes when the new American Idol will be announced.
It will be Jordin, and on Thursday, we can put this bullshit behind us!
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The Redhead says
Aw, but Turkey, I’ll miss blogging with you!
And of course, I cannot let your comments about Dylan pass. Hello? Dylan was a great songwriter who wrote more than “protest” music–All Along the Watchtower comes to mind.
I look forward to tonight’s show! See you then 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
Thanks for taking the bait! Seeya later, Red!
The Redhead says
Heh heh heh.
A few pre-show factoids:
I overheard a co-worker say he thought Blake was going to win tonight. Uh, I don’t think so.
Kelly Clarkson will appear on tomorrow night’s show.
The “red carpet” preshow begins tomorrow evening at 7:30. Red carpet for AI???? I can’t wait to see what Sanjaya is wearing.
I’m looking forward to seeing the following this-season-wanna-be’s perform:
The “rocker” girl (can’t remember her name), the “rocker” guy with the frizzy hair (can’t remember his name), Haley, and yes…Sanjaya! He may not be able to sing, but he gets the whole gimmick thang.
Finally, I pray that Sting will not show up.
See you at 8:00, Turkey!
The Redhead says
It’s the final!
Good evening, Turkey!
The Redhead says
Paula’s gritting her teeth a bit. I think she’s in a bit of pain.
The Nittany Turkey says
Let’s get it on!
The Nittany Turkey says
The dog cover story can only go so far, Paula.
The Nittany Turkey says
Five minutes in and nobody’s sung a note yet.
The Nittany Turkey says
And now, the obligatory 180 second break.
The Redhead says
I think we’re in for a lot of commericals.
I’d rather watch ads than watch Sting.
The Nittany Turkey says
Call The Police!
The Redhead says
Are Blake and Jordin choosing their own songs tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
OK, so 10 minutes in we get the first song, maybe? Perhaps?
The Nittany Turkey says
It ain’t gonna bring down the house tonight, Blake old boy.
The Redhead says
I like his beat boxing. I think this is pretty cool. He’s pulling out all the stops.
The Nittany Turkey says
I like Jordin batting second.
The Redhead says
I liked it.
The Nittany Turkey says
He fits in a niche. The appeal is not broad. He goes down!
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is hammered.
The Redhead says
I agree with Randy and Simon.
The Redhead says
Don’t worry, Turkey–your broad is coming up:)
The Redhead says
A whole new attitude for Jordin.
The Redhead says
I like her energy…but it feels very derivative to me.
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t like this song on her. She tries to get an edge and she’s too young to have one.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is even more anesthetized than usual.
The Nittany Turkey says
See, Simon is the official ringside judge.
The Nittany Turkey says
So Simon has a backbone and the other two waffle.
The Redhead says
I agree with you about Paula. She’s on pain pills….and?
I agree with Randy about Jordin.
The Redhead says
No, I think Randy is right–Jordin sang it better, Blake performed it better. It’s a draw.
The Nittany Turkey says
Hmmm…a comedy about local TV news in Pittsburgh. Hmmmm…
The Nittany Turkey says
This ain’t his kind of song. It brings out the weaknesses in his voice and his vocal technique. It ain’t going to do him any good.
The Redhead says
This is a bit too “Bono” for me.
But I think he’s doing a good job.
The Nittany Turkey says
Very monotonous performance. I’m almost wishing for some beatbox crap.
The Redhead says
No, I think he’s hitting the “Bono” casual way of high notes.
The Nittany Turkey says
Lacking in Bonoesque gravitas, IMHO.
The Nittany Turkey says
Not good enough, Blake!
The Redhead says
You and Simon sort of agree.
The Redhead says
What is IMHO?
The Nittany Turkey says
The argyle sweater is priceless.
The Redhead says
Is Martina MacBride a country singer?
Ick.
The Nittany Turkey says
In
My
Humble
Opinion
The Nittany Turkey says
Martina McBride is of the current genre of so-called C&W singers who do nothing for me.
The Nittany Turkey says
Who’s the Jessica Alba look-alike?
The Redhead says
Blake is a bland, sort of preppy white boy.
The Redhead says
Well, it’s interesting that Jordin picked a country tune. I bet it will work for her though.
Did you get my e-mail about ER?
The Nittany Turkey says
Yes, and I responded to it. I also thought the scene with Ray was heart-rending.
The Redhead says
I don’t like this. What an ordinary song that sounds like so many others.
I liked it when she did On a Clear Day.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin did this one before, I believe.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK, so listen…..yo…yo… so check it out…
The Redhead says
Randy, can you say something other than CHECK IT OUT?
The Nittany Turkey says
Age ain’t got nothing to do widit.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula….she’s in a fog.
The Redhead says
Okay, so they liked it. I guess it’s just me.
The Nittany Turkey says
So Jordin won that round…right? RIGHT!
The Nittany Turkey says
We all like something different. We’ll see how “America votes.” That’s all that matters.
The Redhead says
I predict this tune will pick up tempo soon.
The Nittany Turkey says
This is My Now…this will be Blake’s undoing. I mean, look at those shoes! Golden slippers. And this song fits the description you gave Wings of Glory. It sounds like every other damn fluff song.
The Redhead says
Maybe I was wrong…I think this was a bad choice. He needs the beat boxing. This is so sentimental…yuck.
The Nittany Turkey says
It ain’t picking up enough of anything.
The Redhead says
Yep, I agree. Blake just shot himself in his golden foot.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think his range is challenged by it too.
The Redhead says
That was then…this sucked.
The Nittany Turkey says
The song is boring and the performance is pedestrian.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula loves it.
The Redhead says
The judges didn’t like it. Did Blake choose this tune???? Who chose it?
The Redhead says
I think he sung the song for the “message.” It makes me feel like he knows Jordin is going to win.
The Nittany Turkey says
Simon is just being niiiiiiiiiiiice.
The Redhead says
Sang the song? Sung the song?
I think I meant “sang the song.”
The Nittany Turkey says
Very perceptive, Red. That is an interesting thought.
The Nittany Turkey says
I thunk he said he sung it.
The Nittany Turkey says
I’m totally sick and tired of reality shows. Enough already!
The Nittany Turkey says
She’ll do better singing this crap.
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t think she’ll do the kangaroo hop in the middle.
The Redhead says
Okay. She’s won. Blake knew it.
Congrats, Jordin!
Why do we even bother with tomorrow’s show? Oh yeah, the ads.
The Nittany Turkey says
This sounds so like last year’s “I Wanna Be Inside Your Heaven”
The Redhead says
I wish Blake had beat-boxed the hell out of this song and at least gone down fighting!
The Nittany Turkey says
Ford and Coke get their last shots in and we get to see Fox’s lame summer line-up.
The Redhead says
They should have let them do something in their own style.
The Nittany Turkey says
She has a lock on the audience. Watch them cheer her at the end of this.
The Redhead says
But of course, this is Jordin’s style. The deck was stacked!
The Nittany Turkey says
A little emotion at the end…well done, Sparky!
The Redhead says
Oh, the tears…bring out the crown for the new American Idol!
The Nittany Turkey says
Gahome blake
The Redhead says
Oh…Paula. You poor kid.
The Redhead says
Simon says….
The Nittany Turkey says
This last song was right in her wheelhouse.
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s fresh, she’s cute, she’s big, and she’s hot.
And she’s our American Idol for 2007.
The Redhead says
She knows she’s won.
What if Blake won???
I don’t think so.
The Redhead says
I think she should win. I’m just tired of the style she brings to the table.
I’ll say it again, I liked it when she sang On a Clear Day.
Now, THAT was refreshing 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, I sure as hell thought Bo won when Carrie won. So anything can happen.
The Redhead says
Okay Turkey–get ready for a lot of SPECTACULAR ads tomorrow evening!
The Nittany Turkey says
Randy must have been appointed as honorary commodore with all those gold braids.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, so I’ll see you tomorrow night for Jordin’s coronation, after two hours of commercials.
The Redhead says
I agree with Simon but Jordin should still win.
Oh it’s Chris!
He went down in a Blaze of Glory.
The Redhead says
Or was that Phil?
I don’t remember.
The Nittany Turkey says
Busy day tomorrow. Two MRIs and a conference call with my Chicago client. Also, I should get some passport photos and I need to buy groceries. What else have I forgotten? Oh, yeah. American Idol.
The Nittany Turkey says
And I’m wired on prednisone, so I am probably gonna be up til 3 AM.
The Redhead says
Okay, Turkey! We’ve got to walk the greyhounds…they’re getting restless…I think they’re getting tired of AI.
Math Guy and I took my sister and her hubby to the dog track. I won!
The Nittany Turkey says
Terrific…beginner’s luck. Seeya tomorrow night and say hi to MG, O, M, and C.
The Redhead says
I wish you the very best on your med tests, Turkey!!!
Why the passport photos?
The Redhead says
They send you a chewy milkbone!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
So I can renew my passport. It’s expiring in August.
The Redhead says
Arf arf! Goodnight, Turkey 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
Besides, Ritz Camera is close to FH Altamonte.
The Nittany Turkey says
Nighty-night!
The Redhead says
Hello, Turkey! I have arrived a little early for the proceedings. I admit, I did not watch the “red carpet pre-show.” I have a feeling I didn’t miss much.
A little while ago I learned that Brittney Spears is a likely guest this evening. HMMMM…will it be her or Memorex?
Here we go with the show!!
The Nittany Turkey says
I missed the red carpet, too. I would have probably thrown up on it.
The Redhead says
Wow, this is cheesy. I don’t think Lennon and McCartney had this in mind when they penned this.
The Nittany Turkey says
Who will win?
Coke or Ford?
The Redhead says
Nice Little Richard/Mac falsetto moment there.
The Redhead says
Sprite.
The Redhead says
Gwennie’s here!
The Redhead says
Now I’m reminded why her singing always annoyed me.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now that Akon did his thing with an underage female, Gwen needs all the help she can get.
The Redhead says
Uh I think she is lip synching.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, Gwen has changed a lot since No Doubt.
The Redhead says
Huh? Akon????
The Nittany Turkey says
But I got Dolores O’Riordan’s new ablum, and she hasn’t changed since The Cranberries (or since having 4 kids).
The Redhead says
Kelly sounds a lot like Fiona Apple.
I like Fiona’s voice and music quite a bit.
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s gone a long way since being a waitress in Texas.
The Redhead says
Isn’t she the one who did Zombie? Man, I cannot get behind her voice.
The Redhead says
I liked that song Clarkson did for the movie, Love Actually. It’s called The Trouble with Love.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, she’s hot. Jeff Foxworthy’s not.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now we get to make fun of people.
The Redhead says
Jeff Foxworthy? Jerry Springer? Man, these are some strange celebrity sightings.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, Foxworthy has a show on Fox.
The Redhead says
I didn’t see any of this stuff. These people are slightly nuts.
The Redhead says
Gee, I kinda like the Fake-oragsmo girl.
The Nittany Turkey says
Sometimes the auditions are the best entertainment of the whole season.
The Redhead says
Did this woman try out this season?
The Redhead says
Man, this is embarrassing.
The Nittany Turkey says
Your top six guys.
The Nittany Turkey says
Sanjaya is as lame-ass as ever.
The Redhead says
There he is….oh Sanjaya, now I’ve missed you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s my guy…is his name Chris, too?
Oh Phil…this tune is not for you, bud.
The Nittany Turkey says
Phil is soundin good.
The Redhead says
Poor Smokey has to follow these guys.
Man, he still sounds great.
The Redhead says
He doesn’t even try to hit those high notes anymore. Smart guy.
The Nittany Turkey says
Smokey’s 100 years old but he still has the voice. He never strains, and that has helped preserve it.
The Redhead says
I really think Bono is a hero of Blake’s.
The Redhead says
Yeah, so relaxed. I love the Smokey.
The Nittany Turkey says
I will say it one final time: Paula is hammered.
The Redhead says
How did the tests go today, Turkey?
The Redhead says
I think Paula is really doped up on pain killers. They’ve got a lot of makeup on her.
The Redhead says
Hey Turkey! Are you raiding the frig?
The Nittany Turkey says
I’m outta the frig.
The Nittany Turkey says
This is entertainment of a sort.
The Redhead says
Who is this performing with Blake?
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula has been on pain killers for years, after the auto accident.
The Redhead says
Okay, Ryan said it.
What’s the snack tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
Strawberries, once again. Crappy California strawberries.
The Nittany Turkey says
This woman sang not one understandable word.
The Redhead says
I really get embarrassed for these people.
The Redhead says
This is rather mean.
The Redhead says
What auto accident?
The Redhead says
Here comes Haley!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
The top six girls.
The Nittany Turkey says
Are they gonna bring out Marvin Gaye?
The Redhead says
Man she’s great looking but what an awful singer.
The Redhead says
I love the Gladys. I’ve seen her perform and she was great.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ooh-ooh … all aboard…on a midnight train…
The Redhead says
Where’s Melinda????
The Nittany Turkey says
Sing it, Haley!
The Redhead says
Gladys looks like she’s having fun.
The Nittany Turkey says
Behind Gladys on the left.
The Redhead says
Oh, there’s Melinda!
The Redhead says
I like this. It’s fun.
The Nittany Turkey says
The ooh-ooh major seventh ending.
The Redhead says
That was cool!
The Redhead says
Hey Turkey…how did the tests go?
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t suppose we’ll see a guest appearance by Tony Bennett.
The Redhead says
Tony’s peeved at Simon. Tony is not high on the ethics of the show.
The Nittany Turkey says
Hey, I’ll know tomorrow. I was in that damn MRI tube for 1.5 hours today. Faber’s office called me at 5, but it went to voice mail. So, naturally, because they never called that fast before, I’m worried.
The Nittany Turkey says
So, I put an extra shot of Grand Marnier in the strawberries tonight.
The Redhead says
Wow–did you take a Xanax first?
We’ll cross our fingers that you’re fine.
The Redhead says
Hey, next to the “Redhead says,” there is a : and then, “Your comment is awating moderation.”
Freaky. Are we being bugged??
OH!! Tony!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
Oops…I was wrong!
The Nittany Turkey says
I’ll approve it.
The Redhead says
This guy is a gem. I love The Tony!
What a great rendition of this song.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is hammered on Tony.
The Redhead says
Tony’s still got the pipes.
The Nittany Turkey says
The problem with your comment was that you included a word that was flagged as spam. The word being an antidepressent drug.
The Nittany Turkey says
See, I get a lot of comment spam…people wanting to sell drugs, etc.
The Redhead says
Ohh, arent’t these the guys they caught some flak over?
The Nittany Turkey says
Antonella was HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, it was Antonella’s naked pictures that caught the flack.
The Redhead says
Ha! That last bit with Simon and Ryan was funny.
The Nittany Turkey says
Look at Paula’s face. She’s out of it totally.
The Redhead says
So this is a high security blog. Okay, I won’t try to sell you any grass 🙂
This is really offensive.
Where is Antonella? Has she been on the show tonight yet?
The Nittany Turkey says
And, no, I’m stoic about those kinds of things. I just zone out in the MRI. DOn’t need no steeking Xanax.
The Redhead says
This is a real variety show tonight. Sort of old fashioned.
The Redhead says
Just the scotch when you get home 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
It’s the Ted Mack Original Amateur Hour!
The Redhead says
I know you are not enjoying this, Turkey.
The Nittany Turkey says
Or Grand Marnier.
The Nittany Turkey says
Hey, babe. I do enjoys my R&B.
The Nittany Turkey says
I thought that was pretty hot, actually!
The Redhead says
Yeah, but it was still a protest song.
The Redhead says
Okay. I take a short break to walky the doggy (s).
Please tell me what I’ve missed!
The Nittany Turkey says
But I’ll have another blast in your honor now that you’re being liberated from the Jesus freaks.
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, I didn’t listen to the words. The rendition was great, whateverthehell they were singing.
The Nittany Turkey says
I never liked Carrie. I wanted Bo to win two years ago. I still don’t like Carrie. Her voice grates on me.
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s been successful as a country recording artiste, however, in spite of my non-approval.
The Nittany Turkey says
And it’s a fucking feather in her cap that a country girl from a small town in Oklahoma has taken that thready voice so far, as it were, so to speak.
The Nittany Turkey says
So, that’s what you missed. Carrie Underwood.
The Nittany Turkey says
Wow, like only 48 minutes until we get the results.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think I’ll get drunk tonight. I’ll be in a much better frame of mind to hear from Faber’s office tomorrow if I have a throbbing hangover.
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, and you’re missing the African Children’s Choir, too.
The Nittany Turkey says
And the big Sanjaya feature.
The Nittany Turkey says
With Joe Perry from Aerosmith.
The Redhead says
I’m back just in time!!!!!!! GO SANJAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
He’s doing The Kinks thing.
The Redhead says
He’s not shy, that kid.
The Nittany Turkey says
That was very exciting….zzzzzzzzzz
The Nittany Turkey says
And I can sleep through this, too.
The Redhead says
Love this song…but they’ll cut the F word.
And I really like this band.
The Redhead says
No likey Green Day????
The Nittany Turkey says
They drone on and on
The Redhead says
This is so not an AI song. John Lennon is probably rolling in his grave.
The Redhead says
I think they’re hot band.
The Redhead says
Math Guy is not happy tonight. He’s pissed at my soon-to-be former employers.
The Redhead says
Turkey….are you there????
The Nittany Turkey says
Enough already!
The Nittany Turkey says
Tell Math Guy to get over it. You’re better than they are, and that’s all there is to it.
The Redhead says
Who me??
The Redhead says
Well, he agrees with you about that part. He’s pissed because he thinks they were jerks.
The Nittany Turkey says
It’s Gwen Stefani.
The Nittany Turkey says
People ARE jerks. That’s life.
The Nittany Turkey says
Unless you plan to lob a grenade into their waiting room, it doesn’t pay to grouse over it. It ain’t going to change anything.
The Redhead says
Yeh, yeh. He’s annoyed because he thinks they didn’t give me much of a chance. I have to agree with him there. On the other hand, he’s glad I’m leaving because he felt it wasn’t a great match (though he never said that until now).
The Redhead says
Who is this joker?
The Nittany Turkey says
Just what I didn’t need: Taylor Hicks.
The Nittany Turkey says
Last year’s Idol.
The Redhead says
He’s a dork.
The Redhead says
He’s out of breath.
The Redhead says
He needs a better hair colorist.
The Nittany Turkey says
Katharine McPhee was so my favorite last year and somehow this idiot got the votes.
The Redhead says
Okay, he just redeemed himself with the harp playing.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ruben hasn’t really had a sparkling career.
The Redhead says
Hey his tie matches her frock!
The Redhead says
Who did this tune? Marvin and Tammy? Or that real tall couple..can’t remember their name.
The Redhead says
I like Rueben.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ashford and Simpson.
The Redhead says
You know, I’m enjoying this show way more than I thought I would. There is quite a bit of performing and not as much filler stuff. They’re actually doing a decent job with it. A pretty good line-up of guests to boot!
The Nittany Turkey says
Ruben hasn’t does anywhere near as well as his runner-up, Clay Aiken.
The Redhead says
Yeah, Ashford and Simpson, that’s who I was trying to think of.
The Nittany Turkey says
This newsbabe is so full of herself.
The Redhead says
Ick. Clay Aiken. Even the name sucks.
The Nittany Turkey says
So does he, I understand.
The Redhead says
The next two weeks are going to be a bit weird, me still working at the clinic, after being let go.
The Redhead says
You’re such a card!
The Nittany Turkey says
We have this Dodge Ram commercial on a Ford show!
The Nittany Turkey says
I know, Patti…that’s a tough position to be in. I hope it goes quickly for you.
The Redhead says
Who was that guy sitting at the desk, shaking his head? Looked kind of scruffy.
Bette doesn’t sound in tune tonight. She was funny when she played the bath houses. Did you ever see any old film of those performances?
The Nittany Turkey says
Never liked Bette Middler, even when she COULD sing.
The Redhead says
I hate that this terrific personality has to sing schlock like this.
The Redhead says
Man, this is terrible. What has happened to her?
The Nittany Turkey says
Don’t know who the guy was, and get Bette offa there!!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s THE ROSE….THE ROSE!!!
The Redhead says
YIKES!!!!!
HELP PLEASE HELP…..
PLEASE GO AWAY…LET THE WIND CARRY YOU AWAY….
GO
AWAY
PLEASE.
(THANK YOU.)
The Nittany Turkey says
15 minutes left. What major surprises lie in wait.
The Redhead says
I’m telling you, it’s Britney Spears. She’s going to pass on a kiss to Jordin like Madonna did with her.
The Nittany Turkey says
I gotta take a leak.
The Nittany Turkey says
I am back.
The Redhead says
Who is this chick?
The Redhead says
This explains Randy’s choice of jacket attire last night.
The Nittany Turkey says
That was a bit overdone.
The Redhead says
Is this Kelly Clarkson? They don’t introduce anybody, they just expect you to know!
The Redhead says
This is a bad acid trip.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now, we get Taylor’s “singin’ face”
The Redhead says
Poor John…will no one let him rest tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, then. You didn’t miss Carrie after all.
The Redhead says
Whoops! Little mistake there. I bet she never even heard this song until last week. This performance proves it.
The Nittany Turkey says
Carrie’s thighs are a bit fleshy for that dress.
The Redhead says
Why do you think I’d miss Carrie? I’ve been right here. Scroll up Turkey!
The Redhead says
She needs to work out those gams.
The Nittany Turkey says
You were walking the curs during her last performance.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ruben has the sense not to show his thighs.
The Redhead says
This acid trip is getting weirder and weirder.
The Redhead says
Yeah, what’s the big deal about her?
Now this is a bit better.
The Nittany Turkey says
Haley, you’re not a singer, but I like your ass.
The Redhead says
I think Haley has a future at the Playboy Mansion.
The Nittany Turkey says
The big deal about Carrie is that she sold 6,000,000 albums.
The Redhead says
What no, Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite?
The Redhead says
Actually, I enjoyed hearing those old songs. It’s good they paid tribute to such an old treasure!
The Nittany Turkey says
I think we must be about ready to crown our idol when we return from eight minutes of commercials. Se bailate.
The Redhead says
It’s really hard not to feel cynical watching this show. The innocence of the Ed Sullivan days is gone.
The Redhead says
Okay, Turkey! Let’s get serious.
Who is it going to be?
I say Jordin.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jordin.
The Redhead says
The show is going overtime.
The Nittany Turkey says
America has voted.
The Redhead says
I like the dress color.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula waffles, as usual.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK, now it’s officially over.
The Redhead says
Once again, Turkey, we called it!
The Redhead says
Now what happens?
The Nittany Turkey says
Now she gets to sing that lame this is your now crap.
The Redhead says
Okay, sing it, kid. You’re about to make a great deal of money.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is hammmmmmmmmmmmmered.
The Redhead says
This song is such a lame piece of ____.
The Redhead says
Well, Turkey. You predicted weeks ago that Jordin would win–you were right.
The Nittany Turkey says
You saw it coming too.
The Nittany Turkey says
The all-inclusive group-grope, and we’re out….
The Redhead says
Turkey, it’s been a fun ride!
The Nittany Turkey says
That does it! We’re done. It’s been nice blogging withya, Redhead.
The Redhead says
Turkey…are you….
hammered?
The Nittany Turkey says
Goodnight, and seeya next January for more Idol. And no, I’m not hammered.
The Redhead says
Until next season, Turkey, I bid you a fond adieu.
The Redhead says
P.S.
Paula has left the building….
hammered 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
Hey, Margie went to med school with that Dube babe.
The Redhead says
Huh?
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, I’m watching ch 35 news about the fake doctor in Longwood.
The Nittany Turkey says
The babe with the red suit is such a weenie.
The Nittany Turkey says
She looks like she just sucked on a lemon.
The Nittany Turkey says
OK…I’m reduced to inane local news commentary, so I’m going to bug off.
The Nittany Turkey says
Goodnight, Red!
The Nittany Turkey says
And where was Brittney? And where was Marvin Gaye?
The Redhead says
Maybe they’ll turn up next season 🙂