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Home General Television Elite Eight

Elite Eight

Posted on April 8, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Let’s take a break from American Asshole (the sad saga of Penn State football’s criminal element as personified by Chris Bell in the preceding story) in order to tune in once again to American Idol.

This week, we’re down to eight contestants. It is Idol Gives Back week, so expect a lot of promos for Wednesday’s two-and-a-half hour extravaganza, which is basically a series of taped vignettes of former Idols, Idol judges, and other assorted luminaries reaching out to impoverished Africans. (N.B.: Mrs. Clinton and Messrs. McCain and Obama will not miss this important photo-op, as it is their best chance to strut their questionable shit in 15-second sound bites before an audience of 35-40 million.) But I digress. Eight good people left standing with no stated theme that this Turkey could glean could only mean one thing: one person will leave the stage in tears on Thursday night. I might watch the return of 30 Rock, instead. Just kidding!

Last week saw the elimination of my favorite little cutie, 4’11” Ramiele Malubay. She had chubby legs, but she also had a great big voice. Ramiele is an emotional kid, which took its toll on her when Ryan Seacrest announced that she was out; however, trouper that she is, she recovered long enough to belt out her song one final time for the people in the audience who derive sadistic gratification from Idol’s little torture routine of making the losers sing right after they are gunned down on stage.

So who’s left? First, the group that this Turkey considers the bottom half. We have the lovely, long-legged Kristy Lee Cook, whose fine ass has adorned the Bottom Three stools on so many occasions that she now comes prepared with a hand-lettered sign that reads “Kristy’s Seat”. If Kristy sticks to country music, she’ll be around for another week or two; if she doesn’t, this could be her week to go. Brooke White, too, is looking shaky. Her act has been heading downhill and her emotional personality has been getting the better of her of late. If Syesha Mercado happens to pull out another Whitney Houston song, she’s headed for the dumper, too. The audience rewards—or should reward—original, not copycat, performances. Jason Castro is pretty easy going—too easy going—and another weak song choice could send him to Idol oblivion.

The other four are pretty safe for a while. David Archuleta is the odds-on favorite to win the whole thing. He has a great voice and an engaging smile. He is the idol of the pre-teens, but many adult women not so secretly want to have a go with him, if only he would start shaving… But I digress. David Cook is edgy, performs updated material, got a better haircut, and is in it for the long haul. You always know that you’re going to get something out of the ordinary from him. Michael Johns has had his ups and downs, but is a genuinely nice guy, has an appealing Aussie accent, is good looking, and can sing. Those qualities should keep him around at least until we’re down to four remaining. Not to say that he’s the worst of the top four—these people are all pretty good. That brings us to Carly Smithson, who can sing but, according to Simon, can’t dress. She’ll be returning for a while if she doesn’t totally screw up. Maybe she should take Simon’s advice about clothing and at least cover that ridiculous tattoo on her right arm and shoulder. That shit belongs on Shaquille O’Neal, not on a pop singer. (If she was doing a genre like Industrial or Metal, maybe, but not pop. Instead of body art, she should have spent her money on a boob job or ass implants—something I wouldn’t be repelled by looking at.) Anyway, Carly will be with us for several more weeks, which is fine by me. When she’s good, she’s damn good. So let’s hope she doesn’t suck.

I’ll be open comment blogging with The Redhead tonight during the show. Anyone is welcome to join in by posting contemporaneous (or even ex post facto) comments to this blog.

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Filed Under: Television Tagged With: Television

Comments

  1. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Dis da place.

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  2. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    Good evening, Turkey!

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  3. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Your favorite Stephen Tyler

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  4. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Micheal really goes for the big rock power songs.

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  5. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Not an Aerosmith fan.

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  6. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    He’s doing a good job with it, as is the band.

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  7. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Except he’s mimicking Stephen Tyler.

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  8. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    He’s doing a pretty good job–and hitting the high notes.

    A bit of a let-down ending though.

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  9. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    I like Michael.

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  10. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Wow–look at that cleavage Paula’s got goin’ on.

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  11. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Hard to wind it up and down in 1.5 minutes.

    Paula is on her game tonight. Uh huh.

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  12. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Ben agree with Simon…he did ape Stephen Tyler’s rendition.

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  13. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Seems like you and Simon agree on this one, Turkey.

    Make that three.

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  14. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    What will Syesha do for an inspirational number from Whitney’s repertoire?

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  15. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    How hah did ya so-o-o-ar

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  16. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    This is the kind of pedestrian crap they make Idol winners sing.

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  17. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    Not as “Whitneyed up” as usual.

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  18. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:14 pm

    It would help if she hit the notes.

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  19. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Randy’s edgy tonight!

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  20. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Randy is in endgame mode.

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  21. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    What’s with the contestants talking back and getting so defensive?

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  22. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    I agree with Simon.

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  23. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    He’s going home tonight.

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  24. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Oh Jesus Christ. Over the Rainbow with a ukelele. WTF????

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  25. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    I think this is cute but it’s too laid back for the whole AI thing. Maybe if he was playing for Rufus Wainwright’s audience it would work out for him.

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  26. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    Simon is going to hate it.

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  27. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    You’re right. He’s going home. Nice song for a cruise ship.

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  28. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    Do we need another Don Ho?

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  29. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Wow–I’m stunned.

    There’s hope. You don’t have to do power ballads to make it on AI.

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  30. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Simon and Randy just saved Jason’s ass for another week.

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  31. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    I only hope they do the same for Kristy.

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  32. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    She looks great.

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  33. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    She’s no dummy. She pulls out either the patriotic or religiously themed tunes to save her. The kids eat that stuff up.

    She’s not going home this week.

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  34. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    She did a good job.

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  35. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    It supposed to be inspirational.

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  36. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    She can do Martina McBride stuff.

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  37. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Randy’s got a bur in his butt tonight.

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  38. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    SHUT UP, PAULA!

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  39. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Oh. Is this “inspirational night?”

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  40. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Simon agrees with me.

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  41. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Interestingly, Kristy is looking better than the other two young women.

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  42. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Yeah, in keeping with the Idol Gives Back thing, they’re supposed to do inspirational songs.

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  43. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Hey, that’s a cool photo of you! I was wondering when the little image thing was going to click in.

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  44. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    Ah, I get it.

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  45. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm

    If you have a “gravatar” it will show up there. Check out http://www.gravatar.com, upload a picture and you’ll have one that will show up on blogs that use those avatars.

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  46. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm

    Wonder whether Paulas breasts are going to be sore when she gets home.

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  47. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    His voice sounds off tonight.

    This is too “We Are the Worldish” for me.

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  48. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    This isn’t exactly his kind of song, but I do believe that it shows his versatility.

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  49. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    Cool touch with the hand job.

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  50. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Paula is packed like a sausage.

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  51. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    Right on, Simon.

    Paula needs a chill pill.

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  52. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    Simon & Randy are probably right.

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  53. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    Name dropper!

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  54. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Nothing like violins for an Irish singer. But her outfit shows off her upper attributes, although it shows her damn distracting tattooos.

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  55. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Her lower attributes are a bit lumpy.

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  56. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    Another totally throw-away song.

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  57. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    This is entertaining, though. Best so far until she hit the damn bad notes at the end.

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  58. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Paula’s all strapped in tonight.

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  59. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Yeah, Carly may be going home this week. Simon’s right.

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  60. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    What do these people know? Just opinions, like yours and mine.

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  61. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Carly ain’t going nowhere.

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  62. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    And now, the favorite of the premenstrual contingent.

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  63. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    I need a drink.

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  64. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Okay, I’ve signed up for Gravatar and uploaded a picture to it. Now how do I put it on this blog? Can I?

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  65. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    As long as you used your same email address, it will show up automatically after a few minutes.

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  66. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Lemme check your email address on here.

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  67. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    It is the one with your full name at the heat place (first_last@hotmail.com).

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  68. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    He’s really “PITCHY” on this one.

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  69. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    There you go. Your picture showed up. It’s this little tiny person running.

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  70. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    This is the same problem I had with the “inspirational” show last season. Songs that are purposely written for this purpose sound pretentious and trite. These kids need to choose songs with a bit more subtlety.

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  71. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    This was not a great night for David, IMHO.

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  72. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    Hey–it worked!!! Very cool.

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  73. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    I didn’t like it. I can’t believe Simon digs it.

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  74. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    I think someone’s paying these judges to push this kid on us. Like they’re trying to revitalize the show.

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  75. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    Brook can do Carole King.

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  76. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    Carole King, hmmm? For one of these kids tonight, it will be…

    “too late, baby…”

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  77. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    I’ve read that AI isn’t doing as well in the ratings even though it’s still kicking ass.

    And I’ve read that Starbucks is freaking out and trying to re-vamp.

    What’s the deal? I thought both of these icons were popular and doing great?

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  78. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Carrie singing out her nose again.

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  79. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    If I get to this blog at all tomorrow night, I’ll be pretty late. I have to work until 9pm.

    Seems like I’ll miss all the love.

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  80. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Everything gets stale in time.

    Starbucks has its original CEO back doing the revamping. At one point, Starbucks was innovative; now it’s mundane. Perhaps they’ll reinvent themselves.

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  81. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    This is a better choice…even though I’ve come to hate the song since it’s now such a cliche.

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  82. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    Tomorrow night is the Idol Gives Back telethon. The results show is Thursday night at 8.

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  83. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    I think Starbucks has great coffee–isn’t that the main thing?

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  84. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    But she’s not singing on pitch. Goodbye, Brooke!

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  85. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Right. I will def. be there Thursday night.

    Brooke is not hitting it out of the park.

    You know, I think it will be Brooke going home this week. She’s not singing well, AT ALL.

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  86. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    It sounds like she’s losing her voice.

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  87. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    They charge a lot for a product you can get elsewhere. The yuppies are a fickle lot. Their loyalty is fleeting. Plus Starbucks overbuilt. There are two within a half-mile radius of my house.

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  88. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Now she’ll get real defensive.

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  89. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Randy must be banging her if he thinks that was OK.

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  90. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Paula’s DEFINITELY banging her.

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  91. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Simon is being kind.

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  92. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    I think she goes home.

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  93. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Well, I’m a regular Starbucks drinker. I’ve yet to find a better coffee in the area.

    I’m really surprised that Simon didn’t call Brooke out on her singing.

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  94. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    She knows she’s going home.

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  95. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    I wanna hear Carly do some Heart.

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  96. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Wow–I just heard that lyric in Carly’s song:

    I know my heart is breakin’
    My make-up may be flakin’

    Geez.

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  97. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Yeah, Heart would be a good choice for her. I think she’s good–she’s just not chosen her songs well. Plus she gets really uptight.

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  98. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    I guess I think possibly maybe that Syesha, Carly, and Michael were the best three tonight, perhaps.

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  99. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Kristy is safe for another week. You and I agree that Brooke is biting the dust.

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  100. The Redhead says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Okay, Turkey. I’ll try to make it to at least the last half hour of the proceedings tomorrow evening. If not, see you Thursday as we send Brooke on her way.

    Ta ta!

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  101. The Nittany Turkey says

    April 8, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Yeah, tomorrow night will be interminable and boring. I’m likely to bail out of that one. But I’ll see you for sure on Thursday.

    Nighty-night!

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