Yo, yo, Randy! What the hell were you smoking when you lauded Jason Castro’s ukulele accompanied song on Tuesday night? Did you pass some of it to Simon, too? Is the next American Idol also going to be the next Tiny Tim?
Simon and Randy agreed that “Jason is back!” Redhead and I agreed that It Sucked. Who’s right?
That’s subjective, I know, but when you consider that the voting demographic is not replete with the ladies from Canasta Night at The Villages, why would you expect that Jason would do well with that crap? I suppose if Taylor Hicks can be an American Idol, anyone can!
David Archuleta delivered another winner, and is safe.
Surprisingly, plucky, leggy Kristy Lee Cook, who did a Martina McBride number that was right up her alley (and this Turkey would like to get right up her alley), will be safe for another week. Her confidence is growing, and she might be good for another couple of weeks. I think that her popularity with the voters is increasing.
Carly Smithson might have hurt herself a lot with her song selection. If she manages to hang on, how about putting some duct tape over that damn tattoo?
Syesha Mercado wasn’t bad, so I think her ass is safe. Same for Michael Johns and David Cook. No great shakes for any of these three, but they’ll survive.
Well, let’s see…who does that leave? Ahh, Brooke White. This Turkey believes that it will be sayonara for Brooky tonight. Her voice was shaky on Tuesday, and it left me wanting to see less of her. So, it’s goodbye for Brooke tonight, methinks.
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I’ll put my three cents in before the proceedings begin:
I think it’s down to Brooke or Carly; both are in real danger of going home tonight.
This season, it seems, the males are the stronger of the singers; the gals have failed to live up to the higher standards (most of) the guys have set. Could it be an all-male contest at the end? Unlikely the voters will go that way but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t.
See you soon, Turkey!
Well, I’m watching the recap. Ben Stiller–if it weren’t for his dad, he’d be washing cars or waiting tables.
Wow–look at her turning cartwheels with Heart looking on. Bet Ann could never do that.
Billy Crystal. When will he go away?
I might be here.
Annie Lennox is back this year. Her voice may not be what it once was, but she’s got soul.
The Turkey is On Board.
OK, enough with the self-aggrandizing schnorring. Let’s get on with it.
Brooke’s go-go boots are made for walking…to the back door and outta here.
Okay, I know what that Yiddish terms means.
What is this s–t? When did AI become so religious?
Please.
Nice outfit, Kristy, but I wanna see your bellybutton.
Way to play to Iowa and Missouri, AI.
Nice outfit, Carly, but I don’t want to see your damn tattoo.
The way to play for the Turkey vote is plenty of skin…minus ink.
It depends on the tatoo, Turkey. I would never get one but they seem to fit on some folks. IMHO.
I didn’t watch that crap last night. Didn’t have time.
So, are you going to watch the all-new ER tonight? They’ve just been renewed for their 15th and final season.
Carnie Carly looks like the Tattooed Lady.
It would be very distracting getting it on with Carly with that damn thing looking at me.
WHO THE HELL ARE ZACK & CODY?
This is ridiculous.
Although the eye candy is nice. I could do without Kobe and Dr. Phil.
Kobe was the only shvartze in the bunch.
I’m a believer that that was a bunch of bullshit.
Brooke baby!
Paula loved you. Hahahhaha
Who does Paula NOT love?
Maybe you WILL be there, Brooke.
Turkey, we were WRONG. Big time.
OK, so I don’t need to watch anymore. My prediction is wrong.
Cook the Schnook.
I really thought that Ukulele Boy should go, but the judges pumped him up.
Yes, I’m on board with ER until the end–and I do think it’s time for it to end, I’m sad to say. It’s had its run.
David is safe, obviously.
Turkey, Carly is going home tonight. I know you like her but that’s the way it’s going to be.
Big surprise–not.
Carly is worried.
Kristy is prepared.
Jason is clueless.
Michael is safe.
Syesha is stoic.
Are you watching ER, Turkey?
I will, but maybe not real time.
Yeah, I may tape it (how old fashioned of me).
I personally believe that some-a U.S. Americans don’t have maps.
Git offa my screen, Phil!
What is this with “Dr.” Phil?
He needs therapy.
Awingmaweh Awingmaweh
Helium bumba weh
In the jungle, the quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight…
I KNOW that some U.S. Americans don’t have maps.
Maybe Miss South Carolina can distribute them.
On Saturday Night Live, they had a sketch called “What Did Dat Bitch Say?” and the parting gift was the home version of the game, with Miss Teen South Carolina on the box.
Paula looks very Mexican tonight.
How about Randy’s eight-pound wristwatch?
Jordin looks like she gained some poundage. She is hot!
I had to take the dogs outside–who are these singers?
She’s got a 200 carat diamond on her finger.
Jordin Sparks and some dude.
Oh that’s Jordin from last season–she has gotten heavier. It suits her.
Was she the winner last season?
Jordin is hottttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
She’s only 18, right?
Yes, she won last year.
She was last season’s winner. For some reason, her name didn’t ring a bell.
It was she and that Blake character last year in the finals.
Blake Lewis, I think.
Yeah, I remember Blake.
Here we go!
Take a stool, Jason!!!
Jason Castro:
I predict he’ll go to the bottom three.
Okay. Wrong again.
They listened to the damn judges.
SAVE KRISTY!!!!
Kristy?
I’m afraid to predict. I would vote “safe.”
Got it right.
YESSSSS!!!!!
Micheal? Wow.
I think it’s either Syesha (sp?) or Carly.
Carly might be out the window this week and I won’t have to look at that damn tattoo. Or it might be Syesha, but I don’t think it will be Michael.
What do you think, Turkey?
Mikhail Australnikov
What I think is Carly bites the dust.
And for her swan song, she’ll show us her SECRET tattoo!
Yes, Michael is safe, no doubt.
I think it could go either way for the girls. I think Carly will get the boot but then I’ve been wrong all evening. Still, I think the audience will go that way.
Her “secret” tatoo? Maybe you have a “secret” thing for Carly?
Bono—he’s arrogant…but I still like him.
The other factor that nobody likes to talk about is that the audience and, hence the voters, are pretty much overwhelmingly white, so Syesha won’t get the Obama vote.
Here’s Hill. Lighten up, babe. You’ll get another chance.
McCain. You sound parched.
Obama. He’s got my vote (and I don’t think he’s an Idol).
Ohhh, Paula has an opinion.
Oh, that’s cruel.
This whole show has been commercials.
That’s Hollywood.
Your vote for Obama is predictable. I’m voting for Nader.
That’s cruel, Turkey.
That’s Longwood.
Michael is safe, already.
Keep dreamin’ Michael–you’re safe.
Carly is already pissed off.
Well, we’re totally wrong tonight.
This is f–cked up. I don’t get this.
What b–shit.
I didn’t think Dream On was all THAT bad.
The way they did this was really cruel. Is this to trump up ratings?
How clueless these people–or producers–are.
Sad.
They don’t take his other performances into account?
I think that sort of sadism is characteristic of the producers, who delight in showing us all the crappy auditions just to make fun of the people.
Turkey, is he the one who did Queen?
Yes, he is.
OK, byebye Stephen Tyler…I’m going back to work.
Goodnight, Red!
I’m p—sed.
The producers probably thought this would be a dramatic song to go out with. That’s the way they think.
G’Night, Turkey.
Dream on!
OK, calm down for ER…catchya later!