While Hillary Clinton was kicking ass in Pennsylvania (go Hillary!), the XX-chromosome crew was making all the noise on American Idol. Two of them, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson rocked the house, while the other, Brooke White, went down in flames.
Mercado’s vamp number, for which she was appropriately attired in a clingy, revealing crimson dress made it clear that she would replace the departed Kristy as my eye candy until she is finally eliminated—which means another week or two at most. Speaking of the XX crew, Syesha’s rating had to be on that side of PG-13. ????? ??? ????
Smithson absolutely nailed her performance of Jesus Christ, Superstar, which I ranked as best of the evening. Carly has had a problem picking songs that can showcase her powerful voice. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? She was headed for yet another material selection judgment error but she was redirected by none other than Andrew Lloyd Webber, who chose the perfect song for her.
The usually strong David Archuleta was boring. David Cook did the best he could with material that was well outside his comfort zone. Jason Castro was abysmally amateurish.
And so it was that on this night, the women outdid the men. Well, except for Brooke White. Calamity Brooke started singing and then stopped the band because she forgot the lyrics. Restarting her number, she sang it all the way through with her usual emotional involvement, which has never thrilled me. I don’t think that is what this audience is looking for, anyway. It is a popularity contest and, let’s face it, Brooke’s kind of pathos is off-putting at times.
Tonight, I ranked Carly first, then Syesha, then the two Davids (tied), then Jason, and Brooke on the bubble. Jason was weak enough to be eliminated, but I think it will be Brooke (thus guaranteeing that she’ll be around another week). ????? ????
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Hi Turkey,
I’ll be a little late for the evening’s proceedings since I work until 9pm.
The Redhead.
By the way, I read your comment in the Sentinel TV blog!
Well, I was impelled to say something because Boedecker was so far off the mark.
—TNT
The Idols did “That’s All I Ask of You” with Andrew Lloyd Webber accompanying on the piano. Sucked.
Before we get to the results, we’ll take a look at last night’s “very dramatic show.”
—Seacrest
They tortured Brooke, showing her screwup and its aftermath.
And here he is, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
We’re filling time with Andrew Lloyd Webber inanities.
Endless commercials.
We’ll get around to eliminating people sometime soon.
But first, a Ford commercial.
Now, George and Laura will thank us for giving to Idol Gives Back.
We have a pair of stools reserved for the bottom two. Who leaves us tonight?
Davids are on da spot.
He’s milking this. They’re both going to be safe.
And they are.
Next week will be Neil Diamond night. We’re heading for a break.
Interminable break, which will be followed by some Simon Cowell discovery singing.
Prediction: Carly and Syesha will come out next and be safe, leaving Jason and Brooke to sit in the Stools of Death.
Now we’re visiting all the former Idols on Broadway.
The Number One selling new artist in the world…singing Bleeding Love is Leona Lewis, a Simon discovery.
Hi Turkey! What’s going on? Who is this singer?
Nothing like flames to light up a stage.
Good Evening, Ms. Redhead.
That would be Leona Lewis, a Simon Cowell discovery.
Brooke and Jason: In the bottom 2.
Uh, oh…one of them will sit in the Seat of Death.
I think Brooke knows she’s in big trouble.
Brooke is always choked up.
I think I need to stop watching this thing.
Turkey!!! I cannot f–in believe this. What are they smoking?
This is too weird.
I don’t get it,Turkey. It’s got to be one of those groups that is voting for the worst singers to stay in the competition.
This season has been completely unpredictable. I have no idea what they’re smoking.
This show is losing credibility with me.
Me too.
But it’s the 11 year-old doing the voting.
And if the other occupant of the bottom two stools is Carly, you know that the fix is in.
They probably gave Brooke the “sympathy vote.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if Jason was safe–that’s the way this show is going.
I can’t predict shit anymore!
Wow! Look at Carly.
No sleeves for Carly tonight–she figures “what the hell?”
I see Carly going to the bottom two.
Seacrest didn’t watch the show last night?
I KNEW IT!!!!
What the f–k????
You are right. I guess you figured that out because nothing is going as we thought it would.
The fans were offended because she sang a “critical” song about Jesus.
Why is she singing? I thought only the losing person had to repeat the song, and that’s at the end of the show?
So, they chose these two because they had the two most spirited performances last night and they would make good closing numbers?
They didn’t have Syesha sing, did they?
Right. So Brooke should be singing. I guess they didn’t have enough filler material tonight.
She’s going to sing next.
Yeah, that seems to be the way the producers are playing it.
What a bunch of b–s–t.
So, I guess that mean Syesha is gone, eh? Last one to sing goes?
She sang it better tonight. Maybe she’s been tipped off that she’s going home.
I predict Syesha will get the boot tonight. Jazz is lost on these clowns.
Her voice sounds pretty weak.
Carly is having an intense conversation with Seacrest.
Yeah, I saw that.
Does Seacrest have anything to do with the way the voting goes?
Supposedly, no one can manipulate what America decides.
Maybe they’re both getting the boot tonight.
I don’t believe this competition is not fixed.
You think Seacrest brokered a deal with Carly?
It has to be fixed. Taylor Hicks beat Katharine McPhee.
And who can explain Clay Aiken?
I don’t know but I think this show is rigged to create controversy this season. Hasn’t there been rumblings of a slide in the ratings, etc?
Yeah, but it’s not apparent in the voting. They got 37 million votes this week—or they lied about it.
It’s better to piss people off than to be predictable is probably their thinking.
Of course they lie–it’s Hollywood.
Here we go!
Here’s the moment of truth.
Wrong again.
Jeez.
Sucks the big one.
She really pissed off the Jesus Freaks.
She had potential to be in the top two, per my Turkeyesque assessment.
I don’t think we can safely assume that the two Davids have a lock on this thing.
I mean, can you imagine: Brooke White, 2008’s American Idol????
I think the critics should really lay into this show now.
Or Jason Castro.
Well, our own Hal Boedecker is not going to lay into this show.
I can’t believe Brooke is safe–it’s that Sheryl Crow thing. Unbelievable.
Hal’s lost it.
More insipid music next week!
I dig the Diamond.
Well, Turkey. Life ain’t fair, espeically if you’re playing the game on AI.
Brooke was so clearly the pit bottom this week. How the hell could she not even make the bottom two?
Go post on Hal’s blog, Turkey!
Had fun! See you for more tears and surprises next week.
LA’s fine but it ain’t home; New York’s fine but it ain’t home no more.
This was ridiculous! Seeya! Goodnight!
I Am I Said
cried Carly.
See you next week!