The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home 2008 Archives for April 2008

Archives for April 2008

Travesty

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Clearly, I should write my weekly American Idol assessment and then throw it out, picking names out of a hat to determine who stays and who goes. It is becoming completely unpredictable, at least if like I do you think that the results should be based on who sings the best, not who the 11 year-olds like.

It is becoming more and more a popularity contest and less and less a singing contest.

I’ve got to stop watching this trash. My friend Susan in Vermont said that if David Archuleta wins, she’ll stop watching. Hell, I might stop watching regardless, as enough voting travesties have already been perpetrated this season to last for time immemorial.

Tonight, Carly Smithson got the axe, completely out of whack with her performance on Tuesday night. In fact, she and Syesha Mercado, whose acts I rated #1 and #2 Tuesday night, wound up in the bottom two. This sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me or to anyone else who has ever listened to and appreciated music.

Brooke White deserved to go. She screwed up her song, forgetting the lyrics and having to re-start it. The judges were decidedly unhappy with her. She must have one helluva fan club out there to keep her going.

I dispute the conspiracy theories that are emerging now—that votes are being manipulated by the show’s producers in order to boost ratings. Perhaps I’m naive, but I believe that it is more likely that voters are more or less tacitly committed, like Democrats, to vote for one of their own—you know, the “if Hillary is nominated, I have to vote for her” brigade. God help us if one of Brooke’s fans should think she screwed up enough to cast her vote for Jason. But Jason has a fan club of his own. Whose fan club is the largest? Probably David Archuleta, who is a good singer but is getting to be boring. I don’t think I could listen to a whole CD filled with his stuff. Yet, it is almost a foregone conclusion that his fans will make him this year’s American Idol. Sucks, and it takes the edge off the competition for me.

Next week is Neil Diamond week. Will Archuleta be the “Solitary Man?” Will Brooke do “I Am, I Said?” Will Jason do “Sweet Caroline” to the accompaniment of his new ukulele? Tune in Tuesday night and see the remaining five go through the motions on the way to Archuleta running away with the whole thing.

I think.

Ladies’ Night

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While Hillary Clinton was kicking ass in Pennsylvania (go Hillary!), the XX-chromosome crew was making all the noise on American Idol. Two of them, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson rocked the house, while the other, Brooke White, went down in flames.

Mercado’s vamp number, for which she was appropriately attired in a clingy, revealing crimson dress made it clear that she would replace the departed Kristy as my eye candy until she is finally eliminated—which means another week or two at most. Speaking of the XX crew, Syesha’s rating had to be on that side of PG-13. ????? ??? ????

Smithson absolutely nailed her performance of Jesus Christ, Superstar, which I ranked as best of the evening. Carly has had a problem picking songs that can showcase her powerful voice. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? She was headed for yet another material selection judgment error but she was redirected by none other than Andrew Lloyd Webber, who chose the perfect song for her.

The usually strong David Archuleta was boring. David Cook did the best he could with material that was well outside his comfort zone. Jason Castro was abysmally amateurish.

And so it was that on this night, the women outdid the men. Well, except for Brooke White. Calamity Brooke started singing and then stopped the band because she forgot the lyrics. Restarting her number, she sang it all the way through with her usual emotional involvement, which has never thrilled me. I don’t think that is what this audience is looking for, anyway. It is a popularity contest and, let’s face it, Brooke’s kind of pathos is off-putting at times.

Tonight, I ranked Carly first, then Syesha, then the two Davids (tied), then Jason, and Brooke on the bubble. Jason was weak enough to be eliminated, but I think it will be Brooke (thus guaranteeing that she’ll be around another week). ????? ????

Music of the Night

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Tuesday night, that is. American Idol night.

Let us take a break from Nittany Lion incarcerations, injuries, and insipidness over the Paterno situation; a break from the politics of Pennsylvania and the nation; a break from all else that is pressing on our cerebral cortices; and let’s get down to what is truly important: American Idol taking place at the iconic TD Garden!

OK, I’m over the top there. ????? ???? ???? But I just got done paying some bills and I’ve got heartburn. But to compensate that, I’d gotten a mail from the people I asked to compose some custom songs. I was glad that I’d be getting them later this week and was excited.

With the painful elimination of lovely Kristy Lee Cook last week, this Turkey lost his favored eye candy. Not that she was going to get much farther—no way in hell would she have—but she was still nice to look at and each week of watching her was like a dividend. ???? ??? ?????? For her swan song, she splayed herself out on the judges’ desk and sang to Simon, torch song style. It was perhaps her best performance of the whole competition. Too bad it had to be her last.

I’ll get over it.

Tonight is Andrew Lloyd Webber night. ???365 Accordingly, we’ll be hearing some old, overplayed, obnoxious Broadway music. The Rt. Hon. Lord Lloyd-Webber, Baron of Sydmonton, has dominated musical theater for much of the 1980s and 1990s. We’ll get songs from Cats, Jesus Christ, Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Evita, and Phantom of the Opera.

The only thing I can think of that might redeem the evening will be seeing how David Cook manages to pull something out of this collection of smarmy show music and do a rock rendition. Everyone else will probably do a straight take on the material.