The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Search This Site

Enter keyword(s) below to search for relevant articles.

  • Penn State Football
  • Mounjaro Update Catalog
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
Home 2008 Archives for July 2008

Archives for July 2008

Stay Retired, Already, Brett!

Posted on July 14, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

If you’ve paid any attention at all to the sports news for the past week or so, you’ll know that Brett Favre is already sick and tired of being retired, after only a few months. The NFL’s all-time leading passer wants to play again, but this Turkey has severe misgivings about the whole thing.

When I was a much younger Turkey Muhammad Ali delighted me by coming out of retirement. I could never get enough of “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!” Of course, I was in denial about “The Greatest” and his flagging fighting abilities. After having been beaten by toothless Leon Spinks in 1979 and then coming back the same year to exact revenge in the rematch to win the heavyweight title for the third time, it was clear that his abilities had eroded significantly. I remained in denial through a yearlong series of exhibition fights with bums like the late Lyle Alzado of NFL fame. These bouts led up to Ali’s final, unsuccessful title defense in 1980, in which he was taken apart by Larry Holmes in Las Vegas. I was thoroughly embarrassed for him and, in fact, by him. By the time he fought his final fight, which he lost to Trevor Berbick in Nassau in 1981, I was completely disenchanted and disgusted with Ali hanging on for too long.

Some thirty years earlier, a prior generation of Americans watched their great hero Joe Louis face a similarly ignominious end after coming out of retirement to fight Ezzard Charles and Rocky Marciano. Louis lost on points to Charles, then was massacred by Rocky Marciano, who knocked the Brown Bomber through the ropes in the eighth round, driving him into his final retirement. Although it was income tax woes that had forced Louis to come out of retirement, the result was predictable. More embarrassment.

The same was true of Michael Jordan’s second retirement. His first was understandable, for personal reasons. It was more a sabbatical than a retirement, taking place while he was at the top of his game. He came back and won a championship for his Bulls, and that should have been that. Instead, he took a couple years off and exited retirement, signing with the Washington Wizards (formerly the Bullets until owner Abe Pollin concluded that a team named after a bullet was a politically incorrect lionization of drive-by shootings). Jordan still had game, but without a team around him, even the great MJ could not get those bums to the playoffs. More importantly, seeing Jordan in any uniform that did not say Chicago on it was off-putting. I couldn’t watch.

Repeat the same story with Joe Montana, although his wasn’t really a retirement. When it was time for Steve Young to take over in San Francisco, Montana should have retired. He couldn’t bring himself to do it at the age of 36. He still had skills, and played two good, but not memorable years for the Chiefs. At least the uniform in Kansas City was red but it was still hard for me to watch.

Back to Brett, I’m not saying the Favre can no longer throw a pass. When the forthcoming season cranks up, he’ll be on the verge of turning 39 years old. Perhaps he has a year or two left if someone gives him an offensive line and a running game. Perhaps not. No one knows. One thing is pretty much assured: athletic skills do not tend to improve after age 35, and that’s stating it the kinder way.

Alas, if he does indeed come out of retirement, he won’t be wearing the familiar green and yellow of the Green Bay Packers. Not if the Packers have their way, anyway. The Packers took Favre seriously when he retired, as well they should have. What were they supposed to do? Keep a spot for Favre just in case? They have to move on.

However, Old #4 still has a contract with them and the Packers are not about to let him out of it. If it remains up to Packers management, Favre has two options: ride the bench in Green Bay or stay home. It is understandable that as long as Favre is under contract, the Packers don’t want to take a chance on him signing on with Chicago or Minnesota to make life miserable for Green Bay. They would just prefer that Favre work on his movie cameos, maybe in a Japanese re-make of There’s Something about Mary.

Favre is currently asking Green Bay to let him out of the contract. He wants to play and he fully comprehends the need for the Packers to move on. However, he still wants to play somewhere else and therein lies the contract controversy.

Any way you slice it, Favre is putting the Packers in a no-win public relations position. You can be sure they’ll turn fans against them regardless of which way their decision goes. If they keep Favre but don’t let him play anything more than backup reps, the fans will rebel. If they let Favre go, the fans will rebel. Cheeseheads will only accept one thing: Favre plays in Green Bay. The Packers’ front office is between a rock and a hard place, and Favre is making management look like the bad guys. They’re not. They’re merely protecting their interests.

As for this Turkey, I don’t want to bear witness to yet another aging athlete performing his swan song while looking more like a wounded duck. Furthermore, and most importantly, I don’t want to have to watch another tearful retirement announcement by Favre. No way! Not after having seen the last one repeated at least 20 times on every sports news and commentary program I tuned into for an entire week after the fated press conference.

Stay retired, Brett! We all have great memories of you. Let them be! I don’t want to see you wearing blue or red or black and I don’t want to see the inevitable deterioration of your abilities. I want to remember you on top of your game.

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Post
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • More
  • Pocket
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Brett Favre, football, NFL, Sports

Absence Seizure

Posted on July 10, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

The Turkey has been slacking. It’s the weather here, I think.

Gotta be something. Hell, I love to write and I love to inspire controversy. I haven’t been doing much of either lately.

In the immortal words of Governator Arnold Schwartzenegger, “I’ll be back!” Well, in a little while, anyway.

For those of you who have not experienced the Central Florida summer firsthand, let me give you the forecast for today, tonight, and tomorrow, ad infinitum. Morning sunniness, giving way to afternoon thunderstorms (some of which are violent tornado spawners, replete with hail in excess of one-inch (25 mm) diameter) between 3:30 and 7 PM (just in time to screw up rush hour). High in the mid-90s (that’s around 35C to those who use modern temperature scales). Overnight lows in the upper 70s (mid-20s for you of the metric crowd*). Relative humidity 80%, replenished daily by the thunderstorms. That’s the forecast from mid-May to mid-October, our Central Florida summer.

Enough to curl your hair, ain’t it?

As I write this, AccuWeather says that the “Real Feel” is 102F (in metric terms, that’s friggin’ hot!).

Although the 2004 hurricanes remain a thoroughly unpleasant and not too distant memory, by mid-July each year Central Floridians long for a break in the weather pattern, even welcoming tropical cyclones for variety. While no one wishes for the destructiveness of the nefarious troika of Charley, Frances, and Jeanne, a named (albeit not Saffir-Simpson categorized) tropical storm serves to create a buzz for a while, clean some dead wood off the trees, and bring a crisp freshness to the air for a day or two. ????? ????? A side benefit of a tropical storm incursion is in replenishing the drought stricken and development depleted Florida aquifer with 10 or 12 inches ( 25 – 30 cm) of rain on storm day, which also serves to extinguish various and sundry vestigial wildfires started during the dry season.

Major storms are the only break in the summer monotony for Central Floridians. ????? ????? ?? bet365 Otherwise, it is business as usual, which means slow business or no business, a veritable May to October siesta.

Indeed, the writing business is slow here in Turkeyland. It is hard to be creative when you must endure the constant harangue of the air conditioner bitching to you that it intends to go on strike if it is continually pressed into oppressive service in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act. Why does my air conditioner object to a 168-hour work week? Sweat shop, indeed! Perhaps Barack Obama can figure out how to return it to a 35-hour week while increasing its pay and giving it free filters (paid for by some “rich” person making ,000 per year) for the rest of its life. ????? ??? ????? ?? ??????? He seems to be good at that and his diatribe is convincing to the masses. But I digress. (Notice how I worked irrational Obamamania in here so subtly. This could be a portent of future Turkey rants — hell, I can promise that it will be.)

This Turkey will be taking another heat escape vacation next weekend and the following week. This time, it will take me and my favorite mother hen, Jenny, to the mountains of North Carolina. Upon my return, and after shoveling the inevitable shitload of stuff that arrives in my absence, I’ll be ready  to resume my odoriferous fuming, including the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for the forthcoming Penn State football season, an Official Nittany Turkey endorsement of a presidential candidate (or perhaps, of no presidential candidate), and a few words about why our health care system sucks so bad and why increased socialization of it will put the final nail in its coffin. I just want to give you something to look forward to while I break my metallic neck hiking in the mountains.

So, please stay tuned.


*The metric system is officially mandated in every country except the United States of America, Liberia, and Myannmar. Despite acts aimed at adoption of the worldwide system passed by Congress in 1975 and 1988, and a similarly intended executive order by President George H. W. Bush in 1991, the metricalization of the U.S. was finally torpedoed by Congress in the waning days of the Clinton Administration in 2000. We were all set to go metric, but then the usual political machinations involving the desire to please everyone in return for their votes got in the way, thus ensuring that we would remain in the ranks of the backwater tin-pot so-called republics which lack the wherewithal or the conviction to complete the changeover. It seems that we as a nation are no longer capabable of swallowing a bitter pill that will make us better in the long run.

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Email
  • More
  • Print
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Post
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • More
  • Pocket
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: General Tagged With: babble, Barack Obama, Central Florida, excuses, Metric system, weather

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 70 other subscribers

Recent Comments

  • Elizabeth Ellen Harris on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • The Nittany Turkey on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • Lizard on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey's Medical Marathon - The Nittany Turkey on Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory
  • Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory - The Nittany Turkey on Week 51 Mounjaro Update: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!

Latest Posts

  • Week 55 Mounjaro Update: We’re the Drug Cops and We’re Here to Help! June 23, 2025
  • Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon June 16, 2025
  • Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory June 9, 2025
  • Week 52 Mounjaro Update: Steroid Shot Sparks Spooky Sugar Spike June 2, 2025
  • Week 51 Mounjaro Update: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee! May 27, 2025

Penn State Blogroll

  • Black Shoe Diaries
  • Onward State
  • The Lion's Den
  • Victory Bell Rings

Friends' Blogs

  • The Eye Life

Penn State Football Links

  • Bleacher Report: Penn State Football
  • Blue White Illustrated
  • Lions247
  • Nittany Anthology
  • Penn State Sports
  • PennLive.com
  • The Digital Collegian

Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to the Nittany Turkey and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 70 other subscribers
July 2008
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
« Jun   Aug »

Archives

Categories

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 · Focus Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

%d