PSU at Michigan for All the Marbles
I guess a bag of marbles is about what this game is worth. Michigan seemed to find a quarterback in their previous game but they let Rutgers score a shitload of points on them. So they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, but might be improving offensively. Meanwhile, Penn State just plain suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks on both sides of the ball. So, this one will either be an exciting stinkeroo or a stinking stinkeroo, but it doesn’t make much difference either way.
In any other year, Penn State versus Michigan at the Big House would be worth the effort to write this. This year? Well, it suuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
So, I’ll cut to the chase, with the weather and my game prediction, just for the proverbial shits and grins.
AccuWeather (hooray, PSU meteorology, where I got my first job while at Penn State back in 1964!) says Saturday will be mostly sunny with a high of 46° and a low of 28°. Because this is a dreaded noon start (on the road, already, yet, still), the temp will probably be in the low 40s at kickoff time. Good Big Ten football weather. (I’m waiting for the blizzards of December, with three games remaining after this one!)
Official Turkey Poop Prediction.
First, let me thank the forces of the universe for allowing this turkey to survive the butcher’s knife for yet another Thanksgiving. My not-so-lucky brethren were going for 49 cents a pound at the local emporium. Is that all a turkey’s life is worth? Well, hell.
Now, for some inexplicable reason, which might well be general disinterest or perhaps scorn for both Franklin and Harbaugh, who are both having unfortunate seasons, the spread on this game favors Michigan by just 2. Sure, Penn State has no wins, but who were the Wolverines’ wins against? I’ll tellya. Minnesota and Rutgers. But do you think Penn State could beat either Minnesota or Rutgers? I’ll gopher it: Not on your best scarlet night!
OK, enough bullshit. Did I tell you that the over/under is 58.5? So, coupled with that two-point spread, the gamblers are liking Michigan by a slim margin, like 30-28. The Wolverines scored 35 on Rutgers in regulation, and our defense is so putrid that even Rutgers looks good in comparison. Meanwhile on the offensive side, we’re a mess. We can’t decide on a quarterback, neither can take care of the ball, we can’t score touchdowns after reaching the red zone, we have no running game whatsoever, and our coaching suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. So this turkey survivor is going to be cynical. Michigan 48, PSU 17. Take the over, because they’ll be scoring at will on our defense. Yep.
I’ll be back after this “interesting” game, but probably will cut my remarks short because they moved the Steelers-Ravens to Sunday because the Ravens conditioning coach gave everyone Covid-19. Is the Big Ten season over yet? Wake me up when it is.