The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Another Ridiculous Spread Not Covered

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#7 Penn State 27, UCLA 11

With so many people including the gamblers looking for a blowout, James Franklin’s boys once again did not disappoint us naysayers who believe that any point spread greater than two touchdowns is a profit opportunity. Take the opponent and the points. In this case, we were looking at 28.5 points, whereas the margin of victory was only sixteen points.

Sure, a win is a win, but where the hell do these humongous spreads come from? My conjecture is that many people’s inflated expectations for this Penn State team do not match up with reality. If I may further opine, the Lions are overrated at #7 and risk a rude awakening by bursting that inflated expectation bubble next week against USC.

The Nittany Lions did not score until halfway through the second quarter. This is not how a #7 team should perform against an unranked opponent. They turned to the running game early, with the game’s outcome still up in the air. Perhaps Drew Allar’s inaccurate throwing and inability to see open receivers had something to do with that. However, they wound up with only 85 yards rushing versus 237 yards passing. UCLA outrushed Penn State, 93-85.

UCLA dominated what Matt Herb called “increasingly irrelevant time of possession” by close to six minutes. They managed to get fourteen first downs against our vaunted defense and converted two of four fourth down opportunities. Missed tackles at all levels of the PSU defense helped the Bruins hold onto the ball for far too long.

For a while, it seemed as if the officials had bet on Penn State and wanted Franklin’s Boys to cover the spread. A questionable defensive holding call nullified what would have been a game-changing interception in the end zone by UCLA.

To give credit where due, UCLA’s young quarterback, Justyn Martin, was sparkling in his first starting role, necessitated by regular starter Ethan Garber’s leg injury. He went 22-30 for 167 yards and a touchdown, with no interceptions. Garber has ten interceptions thus far this season, so this was a welcome change for the Uclans. Martin is their quick, mobile quarterback of the future (if he doesn’t use this performance to showcase himself for some NIL money through the ridiculous transfer portal, or whatever the hell these thinly disguised professionals do these days).

Another positive move was Penn State’s change at kicker. Ryan Barker played this game instead of the beleaguered Sander Sahaydak and had a perfect day, 2-2 for field goals and 3-3 on PATs.

So, no, there wasn’t a four-touchdown difference between these two teams, either theoretically or on the scoreboard. Unless something drastic happens in the Top Ten, Penn State is likely to maintain its #7 ranking. Seems over ranked for a team that does just enough to win. USC will test their mettle next week at the L.A. Memorial Colisseum.

I’ll be back mid-week with some insouciant comments regarding this season’s first game against a ranked (rather than rank) opponent.

Not Kent State, But Close

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UCLA (1-3) at #7 Penn State (4-0)

Penn State, somehow ranked #7, will host the UCLA Bruins in Beaver Stadium on Saturday. Kickoff is 12:00 noon.

UCLA

For a change, the noon start will play in Penn State’s favor, if they manage to wake the hell up and take advantage of the opportunity. The Bruins have been bouncing around the country, so on top of jet lag, they’ll be travel weary. They of the Pacific Time Zone will be working with an effective nine AM kickoff, after been beaten down by the likes of Indiana, LSU, and Oregon. Their only win was an early away game at Hawaii.

Indiana is showing signs of life this year, but UCLA sure as hell isn’t. The Hoosiers kicked their asses 42-13 in the Rose Bowl, to add insult to injury. Oregon beat them there on Bruin home turf, too, 34-13. Ducks having bear meat for dinner. Who knew?

So, is it any wonder that Penn State is favored at home, replete with non-white-out white-out energy, by four touchdowns? Another impossible spread for Franklin not to cover. But I’ll give this one a strong maybe, perhaps, peradventure, possibly.

Quarterback Woes

Ethan Garbers, UCLA’s senior QB, has sucked this year. The handsome devil with Hollywood looks to go with his Newport Beach nativity has thrown six interceptions in four games, two each in the Hawaii and Oregon games, and one each against IU and LSU. He isn’t that bad, but his offensive line sucks big time, contributing to his interception total, and allowing twelve sacks thus far. Those Hollywood looks will wind up being more like Steve Buscemi than Rock Hudson if that shit continues.

Rushing Game Sucks, Too

You might think that UCLA would turn to the running game, but you would be wrong. Their top runner, T. J. Harden has only 125 yards on 41 carries through four games. The entire team has only 228 yards on the ground for the season. Credit a wonderfully inadequate offensive line for that poor performance.

Absent a running game and with a severely compromised passing game, the Bruins are ripe for another blowout, if Penn State can get its act in gear.

Kicking Woes

Penn State is the one with the shitty kicking situation. If it came down to a field goal, we’d be screwed. UCLA’s kicker, Mateen Bhaghani, is 8-9 on field goals, including a 54-yarder against Oregon. Meanwhile, Penn State kicker Sander Sahaydai is 2-5 on field goals, which blows.

My Last UCLA Game

I last attended a UCLA vs. Penn State game in Beaver Stadium in 1965. Number four UCLA was quarterbacked by Gary Beban, who won the Heisman Trophy a couple years later. Unranked Penn State, led by quarterback Jack White, lost 24-22 in a credible effort a week after getting their asses kicked by Michigan State, 23-0. Speaking of asses, Gerry Sandusky, a 6-1 200 lb senior, played left defensive end on that 1965 team.

Da Wedda

Game day weather is mostly sunny with a high of 71 and not much to worry about otherwise.

Da Bottom Line

Let’s get to the Turkey Poop Prognostication, already. Yeah, cut to the chase, damnit!

OK, I will.

You know the spread—I told you already—and ESPN’s matchup predictor gives Penn State a 95.3% chance of winning. Yep, just the perfect opportunity for Franklin’s boys not to cover. The spread of 28, coupled with the over/under of 46.5, says that our betting friends think PSU will win 37-10. With all the negative shit I didn’t need to dig hard to find about UCLA, who has only beaten Hawaii this year by three points, no less, I think I’ll go against my instincts on this one. So, let’s say, Penn State 45, UCLA 13. Take the over.

Mounjaro Weekly Rant: Big Pharma, Little Pharma, No Pharma

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Mounjaro

This is my weekly Mounjaro update, which chronicles my progress with the current vogue GLP-1/GIP-1 drug. Writing is therapeutic for me, and if it provides a modicum of useful information to my readers, I’m happy.

First, I want to comment on a hot topic. An Internet rumor is circulating about the possible end of compounded tirzepatide, the generic version of Mounjaro and Zepbound. After I blow enough wind about that rumor and its implications, I’ll get to my numbers. This will be a shorter overall rant than last week’s because we both deserve a break.

In Reddit We Trust

The hot, rapidly spreading Reddit rumor is that the USFDA is preparing to remove Mounjaro and Zepbound from the shortage list in October. This is causing great distress among those who rely on compounding pharmacies for a cheaper alternative than the branded drugs. The basis for the rumor is an FDA response to a citizen’s query, in which that regulatory organization unwittingly dropped a hint about the shortage’s end. The upshot is that if the FDA says, “no shortage”, compounding pharmacies will not be permitted to sell tirzepatide.

No doubt, Eli Lilly & Company, the manufacturer of Mounjaro and Zepbound (both of which are brand names for tirzepatide), will push the FDA to move their case along. Of course, aggrieved parties, namely, the compounding pharmacies, will file lawsuits. Likely, Eli Lilly, a huge multinational corporation with deep pockets and massive lobbying influence, will prevail. Once the ball starts rolling, it is just a matter of time before the compounders are unable to sell tirzepatide. The headline will read, “Big Pharma to Little Pharma: Drop Dead!“

Compound Fractures

Two types of compounders, designated by their legal classification 503a and 503b, are affected. Right now, both sell uncompounded, generic tirzepatide, but after the drug comes off the shortage list, neither can legally do that.

In the case of 503a pharmacies, the good old-fashioned compounders, they still can accept legitimate prescriptions for compounded tirzepatide. Here, compounding means that the drug is mixed with Vitamin B12, for example, due to prescribed requirements for specific patients. However, they will need to stop selling uncompounded tirzepatide immediately.

A Hard Pill to Swallow

The 503b pharmacies, the ones that sell plain old tirzepatide, are typically mail-order pill mills. Some of them sprang up to sell boner pills after Pfizer created a market for them after the seminal introduction of Viagra (pun intended) and the fun drug subsequently went off patent. The FDA will allow a grace period during which 503b pharmacies can fulfill existing orders. I’m hearing that this can be for up to sixty days.

Presently, we are dealing with more speculation than fact. However, the shortage resolution will happen eventually if not in October, at which time the FDA will impose the restrictions. Certainly, Eli Lilly will push to hasten that outcome. It is their drug, they brought it to market at considerable expense for R&D, patentng, advertising, and production, so they want to protect what is theirs.

The parasitic compounders will suffer, as will those who opted to take the risk of using them. Ignorance of the enabling situation, namely, the necessarily temporary shortages of Mounjaro, Zepbound, Ozempic, and Wegovy, exacerbated by the marketing efforts of the compounders and their telehealth partners, lulled these patients into a false sense of security. What to do when the compounding channel goes away?

Will Widespread Panic Prevail?

I suspect that tirzepatide addicts using the compounded products will panic due to Internet-fed rumors about the supply shutdown. Some will exhort their doctors to prescribe compounded versions for which they might not have a specific need. However, Lilly has been getting nosy about such contrived scripts and I could see them using the courts to pressure doctors with the threat of losing their licenses.

Other tirzepatide junkies might order huge quantities of the precious drug. Either they will feed their own habits or, when the dawn of profitability realization breaks on their thick skulls, they might enter the resale market, which, of course, is illegal as hell.

Any way you slice it, there will be chaos in the tirzepatide market!

The Danger of Questionable Sources

Another big issue with people buying large quantities of these drugs from questionable suppliers is their unknown shelf-life. What is the danger of things going wrong as they age? Many are reconstituted, and who knows what the labs are using as preservatives?

Unlike with Lilly, the FDA does not exert tight quality control over these compounded products. From some compounding pharmacies, tirzepatide might be perfectly safe, but from others, patients might be taking their life in their hands, injecting tainted substances into their bodies. Remember the case of New England Compounding Pharmacy and the one hundred deaths associated with one of their injectable compounded products? The principals were jailed ex post facto, but too little, too late. People died.

How About Third-World Tirzepatide?

Another possibility is that desperate weight-loss addicts will seek out foreign sources for their substances. I saw an Australian Broadcasting Company programme about a compounding pill mill Down Under that was illegally selling semaglutide (sister drug to tirzepatide) into the U.S. They interviewed some of the Americans who were bilked by the pill mill. They told horror stories about the unusable products they received.

So, I can foresee all kinds of problems arising in the future stemming from people’s outsize desire to lose weight. They’ll flail around blaming Eli Lilly for being greedy, but they’ll either be dealing with Lilly’s prices or with their black-market suppliers.

While the long-term outlook for the pill mills might be uncertain, I bet they will experience a significant bump in sales in the short term. Addicts will be addicts, and addicts must get their fix.

The big question in my mind is: How stupid will desperate people be regarding where and how they get their drugs?

My Progress on Mounjaro

Now, let’s move on to my progress on Mounjaro.

My glucose average for the week, as reported by my Dexcom Stelo, was 107 mg/dL. This is an improvement, and it equates to an A1c of 5.4. We’re homing in on my target of 5.2! My weight increased 1.6 pounds since last Monday, which is no cause for concern in the aftermath of my rapid, COVID-influenced weight loss (ten pounds in a week).

Blood pressure has been an issue since the COVID episode. Back on the 100 mg dose of Losartan, my average was 135/80. Before my vacation, I had been averaging 119/70 after reducing the Losartan to 50 mg. I believe my blood pressure will improve when I can resume a decent exercise regimen, which I suspended due to COVID and back/hip issues. Along those lines, before I close this week’s all-about-me Mounjaro progress journal, I’ll take a side-trip to da hip.

Back and Hip Issues, You Say?

During my vacation, I tweaked my back, and wound up with sciatica-like symptoms, which continue now, close to a month later. My doctor, who opts for conservative treatments first, told me to try Alleve for two weeks. I did, and it didn’t help. I still have thigh pain and numbness. So, I have put in a request for him to order an MRI so we can see what is going on in there. Without the diagnostic imagery, I am flying blind. I have no idea whether I am dealing with a disc issue, a nerve issue, or a hip degeneration issue. I had my left hip replaced in 2001; now, could the right hip be shot, too?

With hopes of confirming that or eliminating it as a possibility, I attempted to make an appointment with Dr. Kahuna, my knee guy, who is also a hip replacement surgeon. In fact, he trained under the surgeon who replaced my left hip. However, without imaging to support the notion that a hip replacement might be necessary, the policy of the orthopedic clinic is to use a physician extender to evaluate the condition before bothering the big kahuna with a case that might not require his expert surgical intervention. So, I made an appointment with an unknown physician assistant named Laura.

Aesthetically Speaking

I did some background checking on Laura. Turns out that she either runs or ran an “aesthetic” clinic. You know what that is? Botox and lip inflation for rich matrons. Her reviews for that clinic were terrific, but what in the bloody hell does vaginal reconstruction have to do with evaluating my hip? This revelation further underscored the need for me to get the damn MRI. While I originally thought it might be fun to have the conversation with Laura to get her story, who the hell has the time for such entertainment?

If the MRI says I need a hip replacement, I can skip the extender evaluation and go straight to Dr. Kahuna. Once I receive the order from Dr. DeLorean, I’ll cancel the vaginal rejuvenation evaluation. If the MRI results point elsewhere, I’ll deal with that. Flying blind sucks!

Wrapping It Up and Putting a Bow on It.

That’s it for this week. In the coming weeks, we’ll no doubt learn more about the travails of the Little Pharma vs. Big Pharma. And I hope to be back next week with some new tidbits associated with my Mounjaro therapy and my general state of being.

Until then…