The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Pryor Eligible for NFL Supplemental

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Terrelle “Cash for ‘Graphs” Pryor, disgraced Ohio State quarterback and former Jeanette, PA All-State football and basketball star, was declared eligible for the NFL Supplemental Draft, which will be held “soon.” There was however, one proviso. The league decided that Pryor would serve a five-game suspension as soon as he is drafted by some NFL team.

Pryor won’t be able to suit up until the sixth game of the season, assuming that he is drafted, and although he is not completely happy with that situation, both he and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, know that the opportunity of playing in the NFL is worth the wait.

NFL players aren’t very happy about the notion that the league can suspend a player before he is even hired. One player representative stated that this opens up a Pandora’s Box with all kinds of potentially nasty surprises.

Meanwhile, others are concerned that players who screw up in the NCAA will just hop off the train and onto the NFL luxury liner. NFL spokespeople said that it is the league’s hope that this will be deterred by the prospect of similar suspensions.

But with half a year’s rookie salary being more money than these guys have ever seen before (except possibly the Miami Hurricanes), it is likely that they would gladly opt to take the punishment in exchange for a contract and a chance at an NFL career.

The Supplemental Draft will be conducted sometime next week without the rigid structure and hoopla of the regular draft.

Stephfon Possibly Out; Fera Suspended

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As we close in on the Nittany Lions’ opening game, a couple of suspensions could get in the way. Well, not in the way of winning against Indiana State, but remember that on Week Two the Lions’ opponent will be Alabama, to whom Sports Illustrated  has given the #1 on da cover kiss of death this season. Surely, both of the suspensions, namely RB Stephfon Green and P Anthony Fera, will be detrimental to the PSU effort in that game.

At Media Day, Joe Paterno said that he “doubted” whether Stephfon Green would be coming back.

He should know. That sounds pretty much like a typical Paterno response when he throws someone off the team but doesn’t want to say so. Green has been known to be in Joe’s infamous doghouse for a while. Problem is, now how will we celebrate Christmas without Redd and Green on the team together? And who will back up and supplement Silas Redd?

Oy, so this we need in addition to the much ballyhooed quarterback controversy? (This Turkey prefers the term quarterback competition to quarterback controversy. The actual controversy is usually among a bunch of fat old guzzlers sitting at a bar each asserting which quarterback is better when a short lived fight breaks out, quenched when the bartender reminds them that they’re over 65, that they all have heart conditions, and then “cards” them just to prove it. Medicare card, not draft card — oops, I mean driver’s license. I’m showing my age. Hey, I’ve got a Medicare card. But I digress.)

Anthony Fera, the first string punter, had an off-field incident, the kind involving booze and people who don’t have enough brains to let their friends who are of age buy it for them. This, of course, means that Fera is an idiot. It is this Turkey’s hope that the multiple game suspension plus the $700 or so in fines and costs will drum some smarts into his damn kicker head. (You know, with all the ethanol our federal government pays corn farmers to produce, surely they could give free corn liquor handouts to needy punters.)

Sophomore Alex Butterworth will fill in for the shamed punter. Alas, Butterworth isn’t all that great. Last year as a freshman, he punted 12 times for an average of 38.1 yards. That’s what happens when you are born to a lady who is made of glass and filled with syrup.

So, I’m overdue for a pre-season pontification. I’m kind of like Phil Grosz of BWI — if any part of my prediction turns out to be true, I brag that “I was right!” next year; if it’s all wrong, I don’t talk about it at all. I’ll get around to posting some thoughts on another mediocre season ahead (that’s a hint — you may quote me on that) shortly, after I read everyone else’s sanguine projections and stop laughing. Now, who amongst you thinks Penn State will beat Alabama in Beaver Stadium? Tawk amongst yaselves. Discuss.

Maybin Ousted at Buffalo

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The Buffalo Bills gave up on trying to teach former Nittany Lion Aaron Maybin how to be a linebacker after two years, setting him free to pursue other interests outside of football.