The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for Barack Obama

Absence Seizure

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The Turkey has been slacking. It’s the weather here, I think.

Gotta be something. Hell, I love to write and I love to inspire controversy. I haven’t been doing much of either lately.

In the immortal words of Governator Arnold Schwartzenegger, “I’ll be back!” Well, in a little while, anyway.

For those of you who have not experienced the Central Florida summer firsthand, let me give you the forecast for today, tonight, and tomorrow, ad infinitum. Morning sunniness, giving way to afternoon thunderstorms (some of which are violent tornado spawners, replete with hail in excess of one-inch (25 mm) diameter) between 3:30 and 7 PM (just in time to screw up rush hour). High in the mid-90s (that’s around 35C to those who use modern temperature scales). Overnight lows in the upper 70s (mid-20s for you of the metric crowd*). Relative humidity 80%, replenished daily by the thunderstorms. That’s the forecast from mid-May to mid-October, our Central Florida summer.

Enough to curl your hair, ain’t it?

As I write this, AccuWeather says that the “Real Feel” is 102F (in metric terms, that’s friggin’ hot!).

Although the 2004 hurricanes remain a thoroughly unpleasant and not too distant memory, by mid-July each year Central Floridians long for a break in the weather pattern, even welcoming tropical cyclones for variety. While no one wishes for the destructiveness of the nefarious troika of Charley, Frances, and Jeanne, a named (albeit not Saffir-Simpson categorized) tropical storm serves to create a buzz for a while, clean some dead wood off the trees, and bring a crisp freshness to the air for a day or two. ????? ????? A side benefit of a tropical storm incursion is in replenishing the drought stricken and development depleted Florida aquifer with 10 or 12 inches ( 25 – 30 cm) of rain on storm day, which also serves to extinguish various and sundry vestigial wildfires started during the dry season.

Major storms are the only break in the summer monotony for Central Floridians. ????? ????? ?? bet365 Otherwise, it is business as usual, which means slow business or no business, a veritable May to October siesta.

Indeed, the writing business is slow here in Turkeyland. It is hard to be creative when you must endure the constant harangue of the air conditioner bitching to you that it intends to go on strike if it is continually pressed into oppressive service in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act. Why does my air conditioner object to a 168-hour work week? Sweat shop, indeed! Perhaps Barack Obama can figure out how to return it to a 35-hour week while increasing its pay and giving it free filters (paid for by some “rich” person making ,000 per year) for the rest of its life. ????? ??? ????? ?? ??????? He seems to be good at that and his diatribe is convincing to the masses. But I digress. (Notice how I worked irrational Obamamania in here so subtly. This could be a portent of future Turkey rants — hell, I can promise that it will be.)

This Turkey will be taking another heat escape vacation next weekend and the following week. This time, it will take me and my favorite mother hen, Jenny, to the mountains of North Carolina. Upon my return, and after shoveling the inevitable shitload of stuff that arrives in my absence, I’ll be ready  to resume my odoriferous fuming, including the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for the forthcoming Penn State football season, an Official Nittany Turkey endorsement of a presidential candidate (or perhaps, of no presidential candidate), and a few words about why our health care system sucks so bad and why increased socialization of it will put the final nail in its coffin. I just want to give you something to look forward to while I break my metallic neck hiking in the mountains.

So, please stay tuned.

*The metric system is officially mandated in every country except the United States of America, Liberia, and Myannmar. Despite acts aimed at adoption of the worldwide system passed by Congress in 1975 and 1988, and a similarly intended executive order by President George H. W. Bush in 1991, the metricalization of the U.S. was finally torpedoed by Congress in the waning days of the Clinton Administration in 2000. We were all set to go metric, but then the usual political machinations involving the desire to please everyone in return for their votes got in the way, thus ensuring that we would remain in the ranks of the backwater tin-pot so-called republics which lack the wherewithal or the conviction to complete the changeover. It seems that we as a nation are no longer capabable of swallowing a bitter pill that will make us better in the long run.

Voters of Pennsylvania, Hear Me Out

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People of Pennsylvania, here are 10 reasons why voting for Senator Obama will be a mistake:

  1. “Change” is not a viable platform. Change to what?
  2. You’re kidding yourself if you think this junior senator can change the way Washington works. For him to suggest he can do so affirms either his cluelessness or his mendacity. (Probably, the latter.)
  3. You say you’re voting for him because he’ll end the war? More cluelessness on his part. There are no easy answers. Colin Powell recently stated that whoever inherits the war will be stuck with a slow withdrawal, as we can neither sustain the current troop levels there nor can we withdraw abruptly. Anyone who hands the enemy a schedule for our withdrawal is handing them the keys to Iraq and the ability to exert significant control over the Middle East and the world. Don’t let this sweet talker con you into believing that there’s an easy or quick way out of Iraq and Afghanistan. There isn’t. Yeah, it’s partially about oil. So what? You drive to work don’t you? So shut up already about protecting our oil interests. You can’t have it both ways!
  4. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. Expansive social programs cost money. That money eventually comes out of your pocket. Don’t be fooled into thinking that it will all come from “rich people.” It comes from taxpayers. We all pay taxes.
  5. Speaking of rich people, poor folks can not afford to run for President of the United States. Not many of us earn more than $4 million per year, as Obama does.
  6. However, he’ll make more money by playing populist games, like asking Congress to selectively increase capital gains taxes on “the wealthy”, which may or may not be defined by him as anyone making more than $200,000 per year. In other words, those members of society whose investments create jobs will be given a disincentive to invest. People will be punished for the industriousness that yielded the reward of a high income.
  7. Meanwhile, Obama doesn’t really relate to the masses. He says they “cling to” religion and guns and disdain people who aren’t like them. In other words, he knows what is best for them but they don’t.
  8. So, he would propose to confiscate wealth and redistribute it according to need established by “the government.” This didn’t work out very well for the Soviet Union, and it sure as hell won’t work here.
  9. This is a guy who whines about reporters and debate moderators asking him tough questions. Is that very Presidential? He who sits in the Oval Office will bear the brunt of the Fourth Estate—there are no exemptions. Obama won’t change Washington, and this is an endemic part of Washington.
  10. Obama will be a one-term president—not unlike Jimmy Carter, who also thought he could change things in Washington—which will guarantee Republican rule for at least the following twelve years, just like it did when Carter disgraced the Oval Office. If you long for good, solid Democrats—not these modern liberal, heads-up-the-ass weenies who sit in their lofty perches and tell us all what we should be doing—you’ll put the Clinton machine back in charge of things. It’s your only chance to take serious, long-term control of Washington. Mark my words: if Obama is elected, not only will he be a one-termer, but also the Democrats will lose both houses of congress due to popular dissatisfaction with his Communist approach to government.

Really, folks. You’re Pennsylvanians, not liberal New Yorkers and sure as hell not San Franciscans. Do you really want this crap? THINK about what I’ve written above and do your own research. If you find flaws in my logic, then fine. I’ll stand corrected. If you don’t and if you wind up electing Obama president just because you want “change,” don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Faux Pas of the Week

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Barack Obama

Barack Obama’s gaffe at a private San Francisco fund raiser made me smile. It pretty much typifies the elitism and hypocrisy that characterizes a vast contingent of the Democrat party.

He was complaining about not being able to win over many white, working class voters when he said: “It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Why do I smile? Not because the faux pas might have cost Obama the nomination of his party. Not because Democrats typically self-destruct right around this time during presidential election years. No, I smile because this sort of thing exists just below the polished veneer of a preponderance of liberals and here it is, exposed for all to see, by one of their quasi-leaders.

Middle America has long been regarded as “fly-over” territory by these elitist hypocrites, who think that they know what is best for all of us. From their lofty perches, they pontificate that guns, religion, and individualism are bad for us, while abortions and illegal immigration are beneficial concepts.

Yeah, right. I love it how power mongers such as Obama are always telling us how they’re helping us (ostensibly, for our own good, but clearly, to buy our votes). They marginalize those of us who think differently about some of these core trigger issues, pronouncing us as misguided, and (behind closed doors at expensive party fund raisers) bitter and just plain stupid. Does this sound familiar? It should. It is the same mantra spouted by them about us Republicans!

Their issues with religion appear merely paranoiac on the surface, but what lies beneath is their deep-seated feelings that they are competing with God for His vassals. They can harken back to Karl Marx, who proclaimed that religion is the opiate of the masses, when they tell us to believe in them instead of believing in God. Their cradle-to-grave philosophy is essentially a God replacement. Have faith in Government, not God! Jesus H. Christ!

We should shun religion, shun individualism, and all work together for the collective good. Thank you, Karl. You know what I mean: from each according to his ability, to each according to his need. “Need” is, of course, determined by those foxes who are guarding the henhouse, whose needs are much greater than those of the proletariat. Communism sounded pretty good to the workers who were subjugated by it until this dirty little fact emerged: the only folks who get to live the good life are those with the power to determine need.

Let’s have an Ann Coulter book burning in the public square, just for good measure! That’ll get it started. Then, throw in the Bible, the Talmud and and and…wait! no, not the Koran.

What I really need is a Harvard educated political rookie telling me what is good for me! Why is it that these liberals with their God complexes think they always know best what is good for all of us, but cannot ever enunciate just exactly what that is? Their attitude of moral superiority is continually contradicted by their own personal amorality and greed. We’re ripe for the taking with that kind of stuff only because our Republican leadership has failed us and the lefty goons sense an opportunity to dominate. They smell blood! However, their sort of domination is so transparent and so ultimately oppressive to the individual that it never lasts long. We won’t let it. We’re not the idiots they think we are.

We need change, they say. From what to what? From rich, elitist power mongers on the right side of the aisle who don’t give a damn about us to hypocritical, elitist power mongers on the other side of the aisle who don’t give a damn about us (who, by the way, are quite rich themselves, in case you haven’t checked recently)?

That’s what is funny. Democrats are just the same as Republicans, except that they prefer governmental control of everything over private control. If the government were the only employer, they’d be quite happy. That way, they could control us all. That’s what they want. It makes them richer and more powerful.

Behind closed doors they make fun of the very people from whom they derive their power and whom they feign supporting. They know that they don’t know what is best for all of us. They most assuredly know what is best for them, but they sure have a funny way of expressing it. Perhaps they truly believe that we are all stupid and misguided, and that consequently, we will let it pass. We won’t.

It is all a charade and this time it was exposed for all to see.

One change would do us all good. We need a change from short-term political tactics and philosophies. All those ideologues who jerk our political and philosophical chains need to understand that this, by and large, is a God fearing, gun toting nation, and their attempts to usurp those basic rights (yes, rights) will only serve to result in their eventual failure. Contrary to what they think, most of us Americans are not stupid! Far from it! So, let us change from this philosophy of change for change’s sake and get back to some good, old, sound conservative thinking, shall we?