The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for Carly Smithson

Travesty

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Clearly, I should write my weekly American Idol assessment and then throw it out, picking names out of a hat to determine who stays and who goes. It is becoming completely unpredictable, at least if like I do you think that the results should be based on who sings the best, not who the 11 year-olds like.

It is becoming more and more a popularity contest and less and less a singing contest.

I’ve got to stop watching this trash. My friend Susan in Vermont said that if David Archuleta wins, she’ll stop watching. Hell, I might stop watching regardless, as enough voting travesties have already been perpetrated this season to last for time immemorial.

Tonight, Carly Smithson got the axe, completely out of whack with her performance on Tuesday night. In fact, she and Syesha Mercado, whose acts I rated #1 and #2 Tuesday night, wound up in the bottom two. This sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me or to anyone else who has ever listened to and appreciated music.

Brooke White deserved to go. She screwed up her song, forgetting the lyrics and having to re-start it. The judges were decidedly unhappy with her. She must have one helluva fan club out there to keep her going.

I dispute the conspiracy theories that are emerging now—that votes are being manipulated by the show’s producers in order to boost ratings. Perhaps I’m naive, but I believe that it is more likely that voters are more or less tacitly committed, like Democrats, to vote for one of their own—you know, the “if Hillary is nominated, I have to vote for her” brigade. God help us if one of Brooke’s fans should think she screwed up enough to cast her vote for Jason. But Jason has a fan club of his own. Whose fan club is the largest? Probably David Archuleta, who is a good singer but is getting to be boring. I don’t think I could listen to a whole CD filled with his stuff. Yet, it is almost a foregone conclusion that his fans will make him this year’s American Idol. Sucks, and it takes the edge off the competition for me.

Next week is Neil Diamond week. Will Archuleta be the “Solitary Man?” Will Brooke do “I Am, I Said?” Will Jason do “Sweet Caroline” to the accompaniment of his new ukulele? Tune in Tuesday night and see the remaining five go through the motions on the way to Archuleta running away with the whole thing.

I think.

Ladies’ Night

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While Hillary Clinton was kicking ass in Pennsylvania (go Hillary!), the XX-chromosome crew was making all the noise on American Idol. Two of them, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson rocked the house, while the other, Brooke White, went down in flames.

Mercado’s vamp number, for which she was appropriately attired in a clingy, revealing crimson dress made it clear that she would replace the departed Kristy as my eye candy until she is finally eliminated—which means another week or two at most. Speaking of the XX crew, Syesha’s rating had to be on that side of PG-13. ????? ??? ????

Smithson absolutely nailed her performance of Jesus Christ, Superstar, which I ranked as best of the evening. Carly has had a problem picking songs that can showcase her powerful voice. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? She was headed for yet another material selection judgment error but she was redirected by none other than Andrew Lloyd Webber, who chose the perfect song for her.

The usually strong David Archuleta was boring. David Cook did the best he could with material that was well outside his comfort zone. Jason Castro was abysmally amateurish.

And so it was that on this night, the women outdid the men. Well, except for Brooke White. Calamity Brooke started singing and then stopped the band because she forgot the lyrics. Restarting her number, she sang it all the way through with her usual emotional involvement, which has never thrilled me. I don’t think that is what this audience is looking for, anyway. It is a popularity contest and, let’s face it, Brooke’s kind of pathos is off-putting at times.

Tonight, I ranked Carly first, then Syesha, then the two Davids (tied), then Jason, and Brooke on the bubble. Jason was weak enough to be eliminated, but I think it will be Brooke (thus guaranteeing that she’ll be around another week). ????? ????

Brooke Needs Shields

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She does. Brooke White needs all the armor she can get to cling to any hope of surviving this week on American Idol.

She and Carly both sucked on Tuesday night. Syesha was just OK. She didn’t thrill me very much. However, among the women, the biggest surprise was Kristy Lee Cook, who—no matter what Simon sez—nailed her song. (I’d like to nail her.)

Carly covered her tattoo, which was a good thing. At one point, the camera provided us with a shot of her husband, who looked either like he had been in a vehicle-pedestrian collision with a paint truck or took a wrong turn and rode his bike through a paint ball battlefield. So we had ample advertising for the family tattoo parlor. But the singing sucked the big one.

Among the guys, David Cook’s original arrangement was a standout, but David Archuleta delivered hands-down the best performance of the evening. This competition is his to lose, and it ain’t likely that he will.

I think Brooke should go, but my predictions have been way off this season. So, I’m going to say that Carly will be the one shedding the tears tonight. Tune in at 9ET/8CT and see for yourself!