It’s been a while since this Turkey made any comments about ol’ Lar, but his inexplicable signing by the NFL Miami Dolphins has me scratching my head feathers and shaking my wattles. So, I’ll gobble about it for a bit.

Former Penn State Nittany Lion running back Larry Johnson, Jr. ??????? ??? ???? was a legitimate star for a couple of years with Kansas City, but that was in the distant past, 2005 and 2006. He gained over 1,700 yards in both of those years. However, his off-field issues and pouty temperament tended to overshadow his achievements in KC, and by the time he left, Chiefs fans were ready to forcibly shove him out the door. He had bitched about his coaches, an old habit of his, but this time he did it via Twitter. Then, he got into an argument with a fan on Twitter, calling him a fag. Although he later apologized, the damage had been done, and Johnson was soon out the door. ?????? ?????? For Larry, 2009 was not a very good year. To add insult to injury, he had gained a mere 204 yards.

He signed with the Cincinnati Bengals, where he languished for a year. He subsequently was picked up by the Washington Redskins in 2010, but was used sparingly by Coach Mike Shanahan, gaining a total of two yards for the abbreviated season, which ended for Larry after the second game. He was released on September 21, 2010. ???? ???? ??? ????

What could Tony Sperano and the Miami brain trust possibly see in the past-prime pain in the ass? When Ronnie Brown asked them for too much money and was forced by his greed (wait, call it good business sense) to depart, they went after Reggie Bush and got him. They have a talented rookie in Daniel Thomas, but the last guy you’d want to mentor a guy like that is ol’ Lar. But they’ve signed Johnson halfway through the pre-season, which speaks to the Dolphins’ intention of keeping him through the last round of pre-season cuts.

Perhaps the Dolphins would like to generate some media presence for something other than a third-rate quarterback controversy or a ganja puffing running back who served a year of exile in Canada. Larry, who has been arrested four times since he entered the pros, probably has yet to learn his lesson. He usually picks on women in bars. He better be careful in Miami — some of those South Beach babes are not only hot but also lethal.

I doubt that there will be much more of interest coming from this continuing story, but I’ll be on Miami-Dade County police blotter watch just in case there’s something you need to know.

Good luck, Larry. How about proving me wrong for a change? Whattya say?