The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Nut Case Alert!

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PETA has spoken. In the wake of the tragic Kentucky Derby place finish of the ill-fated filly Eight Belles, they have written a nastygram to the person in charge: Senator Hillary Clinton. Furthermore, just to make sure Hillary gets the message, they’re writing another nastygram to daughter Chelsea. PETA knows how to play dirty, too, thank you very much.

If you don’t know by this time, Eight Belles broke both front ankles as she charged down the stretch in a game effort to catch Big Brown, the big colt that won the race. While Big Brown was enjoying his moment of glory in the winner’s circle, Eight Belles was being euthanized on the track where she had broken down. She paid $10.60 and $6.40, posthumously.

I do not dispute the notion that the Kentucky Horse Racing Association should investigate the circumstances surrounding the filly’s tragic injury. Without being prompted to do so, the KHRA did, in fact, initiate such an investigation, which is routine anytime an animal dies on the track.

However, our nutball friends at PETA are taking this opportunity to make their silly-ass noises to expand their notariety, not only writing to Hillary and Chelsea, but also calling for the dismissal and banning of the jockey, who was out there trying to do his job. Their position is that the life of the horse is far more important than a man’s ability to earn a living and feed his family. In the meanwhile, they exploit this tragic incident to further their own questionable agenda.

PETA has had horse racing (the sport of kings) in its cross-hairs for a long time, claiming that it constitutes cruelty to their precious animals, which people “bet on just like a poker hand.” They equate it to dog fighting. If these yo-yos had their way, you wouldn’t even be able to kick your neighbor’s dog’s ass for taking a crap on your lawn.

Well, I don’t know about you, brother, but if I had had the choice, I sure as hell would have opted for a life consisting of two or three years of hard work followed by a career of chasing fillies and brood mares on some cushy stud farm. Just ask any stallion if he would have it any other way! If he could talk, he’d hoist his middle finger in PETA’s direction, and whinny out a great big belly laugh.

I know that only a small percentage of the overall racing population winds up enjoying those romantically bucolic rendezvoux, but what the hell. It would be worth the gamble. If I couldn’t compete I’d deserve to be horse meat on some foreigner’s plate or to spend my afterlife holding together the binding of a book.

Besides, now that the Swiss government has engaged a panel to report on man’s offenses against the dignity of plants and considers “beheading” wildflowers as cruelty to plants, one has to believe that the mere existence of horses constitutes cruelty to oats.

You can read the full text of the letter to Hillary in this Political Punch blog post from ABC News.

Does anyone out there—especially in the wonderful world of politics—have the balls to shut these wankers the hell up?

Voters of Pennsylvania, Hear Me Out

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People of Pennsylvania, here are 10 reasons why voting for Senator Obama will be a mistake:

  1. “Change” is not a viable platform. Change to what?
  2. You’re kidding yourself if you think this junior senator can change the way Washington works. For him to suggest he can do so affirms either his cluelessness or his mendacity. (Probably, the latter.)
  3. You say you’re voting for him because he’ll end the war? More cluelessness on his part. There are no easy answers. Colin Powell recently stated that whoever inherits the war will be stuck with a slow withdrawal, as we can neither sustain the current troop levels there nor can we withdraw abruptly. Anyone who hands the enemy a schedule for our withdrawal is handing them the keys to Iraq and the ability to exert significant control over the Middle East and the world. Don’t let this sweet talker con you into believing that there’s an easy or quick way out of Iraq and Afghanistan. There isn’t. Yeah, it’s partially about oil. So what? You drive to work don’t you? So shut up already about protecting our oil interests. You can’t have it both ways!
  4. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. Expansive social programs cost money. That money eventually comes out of your pocket. Don’t be fooled into thinking that it will all come from “rich people.” It comes from taxpayers. We all pay taxes.
  5. Speaking of rich people, poor folks can not afford to run for President of the United States. Not many of us earn more than $4 million per year, as Obama does.
  6. However, he’ll make more money by playing populist games, like asking Congress to selectively increase capital gains taxes on “the wealthy”, which may or may not be defined by him as anyone making more than $200,000 per year. In other words, those members of society whose investments create jobs will be given a disincentive to invest. People will be punished for the industriousness that yielded the reward of a high income.
  7. Meanwhile, Obama doesn’t really relate to the masses. He says they “cling to” religion and guns and disdain people who aren’t like them. In other words, he knows what is best for them but they don’t.
  8. So, he would propose to confiscate wealth and redistribute it according to need established by “the government.” This didn’t work out very well for the Soviet Union, and it sure as hell won’t work here.
  9. This is a guy who whines about reporters and debate moderators asking him tough questions. Is that very Presidential? He who sits in the Oval Office will bear the brunt of the Fourth Estate—there are no exemptions. Obama won’t change Washington, and this is an endemic part of Washington.
  10. Obama will be a one-term president—not unlike Jimmy Carter, who also thought he could change things in Washington—which will guarantee Republican rule for at least the following twelve years, just like it did when Carter disgraced the Oval Office. If you long for good, solid Democrats—not these modern liberal, heads-up-the-ass weenies who sit in their lofty perches and tell us all what we should be doing—you’ll put the Clinton machine back in charge of things. It’s your only chance to take serious, long-term control of Washington. Mark my words: if Obama is elected, not only will he be a one-termer, but also the Democrats will lose both houses of congress due to popular dissatisfaction with his Communist approach to government.

Really, folks. You’re Pennsylvanians, not liberal New Yorkers and sure as hell not San Franciscans. Do you really want this crap? THINK about what I’ve written above and do your own research. If you find flaws in my logic, then fine. I’ll stand corrected. If you don’t and if you wind up electing Obama president just because you want “change,” don’t say I didn’t warn you!