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Voters of Pennsylvania, Hear Me Out

Posted on April 22, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

People of Pennsylvania, here are 10 reasons why voting for Senator Obama will be a mistake:

  1. “Change” is not a viable platform. Change to what?
  2. You’re kidding yourself if you think this junior senator can change the way Washington works. For him to suggest he can do so affirms either his cluelessness or his mendacity. (Probably, the latter.)
  3. You say you’re voting for him because he’ll end the war? More cluelessness on his part. There are no easy answers. Colin Powell recently stated that whoever inherits the war will be stuck with a slow withdrawal, as we can neither sustain the current troop levels there nor can we withdraw abruptly. Anyone who hands the enemy a schedule for our withdrawal is handing them the keys to Iraq and the ability to exert significant control over the Middle East and the world. Don’t let this sweet talker con you into believing that there’s an easy or quick way out of Iraq and Afghanistan. There isn’t. Yeah, it’s partially about oil. So what? You drive to work don’t you? So shut up already about protecting our oil interests. You can’t have it both ways!
  4. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. Expansive social programs cost money. That money eventually comes out of your pocket. Don’t be fooled into thinking that it will all come from “rich people.” It comes from taxpayers. We all pay taxes.
  5. Speaking of rich people, poor folks can not afford to run for President of the United States. Not many of us earn more than $4 million per year, as Obama does.
  6. However, he’ll make more money by playing populist games, like asking Congress to selectively increase capital gains taxes on “the wealthy”, which may or may not be defined by him as anyone making more than $200,000 per year. In other words, those members of society whose investments create jobs will be given a disincentive to invest. People will be punished for the industriousness that yielded the reward of a high income.
  7. Meanwhile, Obama doesn’t really relate to the masses. He says they “cling to” religion and guns and disdain people who aren’t like them. In other words, he knows what is best for them but they don’t.
  8. So, he would propose to confiscate wealth and redistribute it according to need established by “the government.” This didn’t work out very well for the Soviet Union, and it sure as hell won’t work here.
  9. This is a guy who whines about reporters and debate moderators asking him tough questions. Is that very Presidential? He who sits in the Oval Office will bear the brunt of the Fourth Estate—there are no exemptions. Obama won’t change Washington, and this is an endemic part of Washington.
  10. Obama will be a one-term president—not unlike Jimmy Carter, who also thought he could change things in Washington—which will guarantee Republican rule for at least the following twelve years, just like it did when Carter disgraced the Oval Office. If you long for good, solid Democrats—not these modern liberal, heads-up-the-ass weenies who sit in their lofty perches and tell us all what we should be doing—you’ll put the Clinton machine back in charge of things. It’s your only chance to take serious, long-term control of Washington. Mark my words: if Obama is elected, not only will he be a one-termer, but also the Democrats will lose both houses of congress due to popular dissatisfaction with his Communist approach to government.

Really, folks. You’re Pennsylvanians, not liberal New Yorkers and sure as hell not San Franciscans. Do you really want this crap? THINK about what I’ve written above and do your own research. If you find flaws in my logic, then fine. I’ll stand corrected. If you don’t and if you wind up electing Obama president just because you want “change,” don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Barack Obama, election, elitism, Pennsylvania, politics, Presidential election, primary, socialism

College Football Withdrawal

Posted on January 9, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Sunset at St. George Island State ParkThe Turkey is back from a very nice few days up in the Panhandle of Florida, about 250 miles northwest of here as the turkey flies (but since this Turkey’s Jeep doesn’t fly, particularly across the Gulf of Mexico, it’s closer to 300 miles). I had one helluva good time hiking, backpacking, and Geocaching up there at Torreya and St. George Island state parks, not spending much time at all thinking about college football. (Normally, at this time of year I’m sucking up all the football I can get in preparation for the long drought.)

I returned home to suburban Orlando Sunday night, whereupon I received the following multi-pronged reality check:

  1. My fears about the Big Ten being outperformed in bowl games were borne out, with the exception being the pleasant surprise Michigan victory over Florida. All the other Big Ten bowl games went down as I had predicted. Draw your own conclusions. I did.
  2. How bout that Steelers-Jags game? Ben Roethlisberger sure knows how to throw INTs at the wrong time, and Mike Tomlin sure knows how to go for two at the wrong time. Maybe they’ll do better working on their golf game now.
  3. The uncharacteristically cold weather here in the Orlando area killed my showy hibiscus in the front yard. I have Al Gore to thank for not bringing his promised global warming. (Perhaps that’s why the global warming advocates are now trying to waffle by dubbing the nebulously unproven concept “climate change.”)
  4. The cream does indeed rise to the top in college bowl games and the NFL playoffs. Pretenders such as Hawaii, South Florida, and Ohio State in the college ranks, and Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay in the pros got what they deserved.
  5. Someone forgot to flush a toilet before we left for a few days. I will not describe the result.
  6. Chuck Norris is apparently running for VP on the Huckabee ticket. He was anything but “Missing in Action” in those victory poses at the Iowa Caucuses.
  7. Barack Obama is presumably having great success running for President with a platform of “I’m cute and well spoken and I ain’t Bush.” College girls are showing up in great numbers to vote for young, cute, and inexperienced. However, reason prevailed in New Hampshire, where the Republicans’ great white hope named Hillary edged out young and cute. We wish Mrs. Bubba well in the remaining primaries. The Turkey’s assessment? Populism is a sham, a political ploy to generate votes, and no iconoclasts or altruists are out there running for the top elected office—only those with blind ambition. Yet we voters continue to vote for the panaceas these guys and babes offer. Is it any wonder that someone running on a vacuous platform of “change” does so well? (It worked pretty well for Bubba, but I digress…)
  8. I managed to read in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that Joe Paterno had said that son Jay should not get the PSU head coaching job when the senior Paterno retires. That’s either a stroke of reality or a master manipulation.
  9. The other blogs are done with their infernal year-end “Top 10” lists. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. You’ll see no such hackneyed, worn-out, unoriginal journalistic device here.
  10. I had to add a #10 to make this an infernal top ten list.

Mostly, I just wanted to let you know that I’m back and I’m ready to blow acrid smoke again. We Penn State fans could surely appreciate an uneventful and uplifting off-season, given all the crap that took place off the field last year. Alas, “uneventful” should not mean losing primo recruits to Notre Dame and USC, as has been reported elsewhere ad nauseam. Furthermore, the Nittany Nation continues to be constantly abuzz with lame-ass speculation about the coaching situation—who is leaving, who is staying, when will Joe go, etc. Like, give it a rest, already. Oh, and then there’s the quarterback controversy in the making, with the Clark/Devlin situation echoing Robinson/Morelli in Bizarro World fashion. It’s tempting to write about it, but no doubt it’ll be beaten to death elsewhere. Accordingly, I hope we will be able to find fresh, non-contrived, positive things to expound upon in the forthcoming months.

It’s going to be a long off-season. For now, I’ll sign off reiterating my wishes for a happy and healthy 2008 for all of you.

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Filed Under: General, Penn State Football Tagged With: college football, Florida, football withdrawal, Penn State, Presidential election

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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