The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Search This Site

Enter keyword(s) below to search for relevant articles.

  • Penn State Football
  • Mounjaro Update Catalog
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
Home Archives for Sports

Stay Retired, Already, Brett!

Posted on July 14, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

If you’ve paid any attention at all to the sports news for the past week or so, you’ll know that Brett Favre is already sick and tired of being retired, after only a few months. The NFL’s all-time leading passer wants to play again, but this Turkey has severe misgivings about the whole thing.

When I was a much younger Turkey Muhammad Ali delighted me by coming out of retirement. I could never get enough of “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!” Of course, I was in denial about “The Greatest” and his flagging fighting abilities. After having been beaten by toothless Leon Spinks in 1979 and then coming back the same year to exact revenge in the rematch to win the heavyweight title for the third time, it was clear that his abilities had eroded significantly. I remained in denial through a yearlong series of exhibition fights with bums like the late Lyle Alzado of NFL fame. These bouts led up to Ali’s final, unsuccessful title defense in 1980, in which he was taken apart by Larry Holmes in Las Vegas. I was thoroughly embarrassed for him and, in fact, by him. By the time he fought his final fight, which he lost to Trevor Berbick in Nassau in 1981, I was completely disenchanted and disgusted with Ali hanging on for too long.

Some thirty years earlier, a prior generation of Americans watched their great hero Joe Louis face a similarly ignominious end after coming out of retirement to fight Ezzard Charles and Rocky Marciano. Louis lost on points to Charles, then was massacred by Rocky Marciano, who knocked the Brown Bomber through the ropes in the eighth round, driving him into his final retirement. Although it was income tax woes that had forced Louis to come out of retirement, the result was predictable. More embarrassment.

The same was true of Michael Jordan’s second retirement. His first was understandable, for personal reasons. It was more a sabbatical than a retirement, taking place while he was at the top of his game. He came back and won a championship for his Bulls, and that should have been that. Instead, he took a couple years off and exited retirement, signing with the Washington Wizards (formerly the Bullets until owner Abe Pollin concluded that a team named after a bullet was a politically incorrect lionization of drive-by shootings). Jordan still had game, but without a team around him, even the great MJ could not get those bums to the playoffs. More importantly, seeing Jordan in any uniform that did not say Chicago on it was off-putting. I couldn’t watch.

Repeat the same story with Joe Montana, although his wasn’t really a retirement. When it was time for Steve Young to take over in San Francisco, Montana should have retired. He couldn’t bring himself to do it at the age of 36. He still had skills, and played two good, but not memorable years for the Chiefs. At least the uniform in Kansas City was red but it was still hard for me to watch.

Back to Brett, I’m not saying the Favre can no longer throw a pass. When the forthcoming season cranks up, he’ll be on the verge of turning 39 years old. Perhaps he has a year or two left if someone gives him an offensive line and a running game. Perhaps not. No one knows. One thing is pretty much assured: athletic skills do not tend to improve after age 35, and that’s stating it the kinder way.

Alas, if he does indeed come out of retirement, he won’t be wearing the familiar green and yellow of the Green Bay Packers. Not if the Packers have their way, anyway. The Packers took Favre seriously when he retired, as well they should have. What were they supposed to do? Keep a spot for Favre just in case? They have to move on.

However, Old #4 still has a contract with them and the Packers are not about to let him out of it. If it remains up to Packers management, Favre has two options: ride the bench in Green Bay or stay home. It is understandable that as long as Favre is under contract, the Packers don’t want to take a chance on him signing on with Chicago or Minnesota to make life miserable for Green Bay. They would just prefer that Favre work on his movie cameos, maybe in a Japanese re-make of There’s Something about Mary.

Favre is currently asking Green Bay to let him out of the contract. He wants to play and he fully comprehends the need for the Packers to move on. However, he still wants to play somewhere else and therein lies the contract controversy.

Any way you slice it, Favre is putting the Packers in a no-win public relations position. You can be sure they’ll turn fans against them regardless of which way their decision goes. If they keep Favre but don’t let him play anything more than backup reps, the fans will rebel. If they let Favre go, the fans will rebel. Cheeseheads will only accept one thing: Favre plays in Green Bay. The Packers’ front office is between a rock and a hard place, and Favre is making management look like the bad guys. They’re not. They’re merely protecting their interests.

As for this Turkey, I don’t want to bear witness to yet another aging athlete performing his swan song while looking more like a wounded duck. Furthermore, and most importantly, I don’t want to have to watch another tearful retirement announcement by Favre. No way! Not after having seen the last one repeated at least 20 times on every sports news and commentary program I tuned into for an entire week after the fated press conference.

Stay retired, Brett! We all have great memories of you. Let them be! I don’t want to see you wearing blue or red or black and I don’t want to see the inevitable deterioration of your abilities. I want to remember you on top of your game.

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Post
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • More
  • Pocket
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Brett Favre, football, NFL, Sports

Joe Paterno Home after Brief Hospital Visit

Posted on May 15, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

The Centre Daily Times reports that Nittany Lion head coach Joe Paterno was treated for dehydration and released after having been taken to Mount Nittany Medical Center by ambulance this morning. Apparently, he is well enough to still expect to complete a planned excursion to Austin, Texas tomorrow.

Read the full story.

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Post
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • More
  • Pocket
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Penn State Football Tagged With: college football, football, Joe Paterno, Penn State, Sports

Nut Case Alert!

Posted on May 5, 2008 Written by The Nittany Turkey

PETA has spoken. In the wake of the tragic Kentucky Derby place finish of the ill-fated filly Eight Belles, they have written a nastygram to the person in charge: Senator Hillary Clinton. Furthermore, just to make sure Hillary gets the message, they’re writing another nastygram to daughter Chelsea. PETA knows how to play dirty, too, thank you very much.

If you don’t know by this time, Eight Belles broke both front ankles as she charged down the stretch in a game effort to catch Big Brown, the big colt that won the race. While Big Brown was enjoying his moment of glory in the winner’s circle, Eight Belles was being euthanized on the track where she had broken down. She paid $10.60 and $6.40, posthumously.

I do not dispute the notion that the Kentucky Horse Racing Association should investigate the circumstances surrounding the filly’s tragic injury. Without being prompted to do so, the KHRA did, in fact, initiate such an investigation, which is routine anytime an animal dies on the track.

However, our nutball friends at PETA are taking this opportunity to make their silly-ass noises to expand their notariety, not only writing to Hillary and Chelsea, but also calling for the dismissal and banning of the jockey, who was out there trying to do his job. Their position is that the life of the horse is far more important than a man’s ability to earn a living and feed his family. In the meanwhile, they exploit this tragic incident to further their own questionable agenda.

PETA has had horse racing (the sport of kings) in its cross-hairs for a long time, claiming that it constitutes cruelty to their precious animals, which people “bet on just like a poker hand.” They equate it to dog fighting. If these yo-yos had their way, you wouldn’t even be able to kick your neighbor’s dog’s ass for taking a crap on your lawn.

Well, I don’t know about you, brother, but if I had had the choice, I sure as hell would have opted for a life consisting of two or three years of hard work followed by a career of chasing fillies and brood mares on some cushy stud farm. Just ask any stallion if he would have it any other way! If he could talk, he’d hoist his middle finger in PETA’s direction, and whinny out a great big belly laugh.

I know that only a small percentage of the overall racing population winds up enjoying those romantically bucolic rendezvoux, but what the hell. It would be worth the gamble. If I couldn’t compete I’d deserve to be horse meat on some foreigner’s plate or to spend my afterlife holding together the binding of a book.

Besides, now that the Swiss government has engaged a panel to report on man’s offenses against the dignity of plants and considers “beheading” wildflowers as cruelty to plants, one has to believe that the mere existence of horses constitutes cruelty to oats.

You can read the full text of the letter to Hillary in this Political Punch blog post from ABC News.

Does anyone out there—especially in the wonderful world of politics—have the balls to shut these wankers the hell up?

Share this:

  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Post
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • More
  • Pocket
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: General Tagged With: animal rights, Hillary Clinton, horse racing, PETA, plant rights, politics, Sports

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 55
  • 56
  • 57
  • 58
  • 59
  • 60
  • Next Page »

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 70 other subscribers

Recent Comments

  • Elizabeth Ellen Harris on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • The Nittany Turkey on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • Lizard on Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon
  • Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey's Medical Marathon - The Nittany Turkey on Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory
  • Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory - The Nittany Turkey on Week 51 Mounjaro Update: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!

Latest Posts

  • Mounjaro Update Week 56: Big Pharma Wins, You Lose (Weight) June 30, 2025
  • Week 55 Mounjaro Update: We’re the Drug Cops and We’re Here to Help! June 23, 2025
  • Week 54 Mounjaro Update: A Turkey’s Medical Marathon June 16, 2025
  • Week 53 Mounjaro Update: Jacked Lab Monkeys & Med Purgatory June 9, 2025
  • Week 52 Mounjaro Update: Steroid Shot Sparks Spooky Sugar Spike June 2, 2025

Penn State Blogroll

  • Black Shoe Diaries
  • Onward State
  • The Lion's Den
  • Victory Bell Rings

Friends' Blogs

  • The Eye Life

Penn State Football Links

  • Bleacher Report: Penn State Football
  • Blue White Illustrated
  • Lions247
  • Nittany Anthology
  • Penn State Sports
  • PennLive.com
  • The Digital Collegian

Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to the Nittany Turkey and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 70 other subscribers
July 2025
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
« Jun    

Archives

Categories

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 · Focus Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

%d